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[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Start small, something like "On Wednesday, I wear a dress" and then follow it. Planning what you are going to wear in advance really helps - it pulls all the little details together ahead of time. I know if I don't have at least a rough idea of what I am going to wear, I end up looking mismatched and off.
Make mini goals: e.g. this week I am going to wear an accessory every day. On that, those little things, a light scarf, coloured belt or interesting shoes make even a (good fitting) pair of jeans and a (nice) t-shirt look put together. Life is too short for boring accessories.
Do a closet purge. You really don't need a lot of clothes. No one will notice if you wear the same pants on Thursday as you did on Monday, or the same jacket everyday. With your husband, take an afternoon and try on everything in your closet. Anything that he does not like, fits poorly (baggy = bad fit, though not to be confused with flowy) stained, needs alteration, etc. goes away. Out of your closet, to the attic until you can donate them. When you find yourself with little left that works, go shopping with those closet orphans left over that have nothing that works with it. Buy only items that will work with that item.
I also suggest pearls. I received a necklace for my 30th, and I wear them all the time now. With jeans, dresses, everything. Super simple, but very very feminine.
As for heels, I rarely wear them as I walk too much. And never more than a 2" heel. But there are lots of very cute, very feminine flats out there. This works for my SO, as he thinks there is nothing less feminine than wobbling in heels that are hard to walk in.
Www.youlookfab.com does a pretty good job at breaking it down. I don't particularly like her style, but I feel she writes for those who are fashion lost (as I once was, and still feel like I am sometimes)
[–][deleted] 12 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]KlaiFrai 3 points3 points3 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I use a tie-hanger similar to this one ( http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsuxqrYfKi1qa2j8co4_1280.jpg ) hung on a nail on the wall next to my clothes. Works best if the necklaces are on the bottom rung and earrings/bracelets are higher up, so there's no overlap. Just take a minute to hang your accessories back up at the end of the day so they don't get scattered everywhere.
[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I live in a freakishly small space so I struggle with this too. I have a basket with all my jewelry (I don't have that much, as I like my quality basics mostly) I have an obscene collection of scarves which hang on one of those rubbery multiple pant hanger things. Purses unfortunately are usually stored in the larger ones, but used to hang separately inside a closet door.
If you can't see them, they won't be used. Using part of sunday evening to write down a bit of a weekly plan worked for me. That left flexibility if one day was rainy I wasn't stuck trying to rework that sundress. It also allowed working in that nice blouse at the back of the closet you keep forgetting about. Then again, once you purge the cringe- worthy stuff it is much easier to see, pick and wear the stuff that makes you look good (and hence, causes your husband to not keep his hands off you). Go get your purge on!
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Start small, something like "On Wednesday, I wear a dress" and then follow it.
Reminds me of Mean Girls: "We only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays", "On Wednesdays we wear pink", and "you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week"
[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That was sort of what I was getting at. ;) my sister loved that movie.
Regardless, it works quite well if you are trying to get yourself out of a clothing rut.
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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Invest in good tights and leggings for the colder times of the year. You'd be surprised how versatile sundresses can be with tights, cute boots, and a sweater/cardigan over them. Use pinterest or polyvre to make outfits from the pieces you already have. Also, a word of advice, get rid of all the old, baggy stuff he hates. That way, you won't be tempted to wear it on a "bad day".
[–][deleted] 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha, because that's EXACTLY what I do on a bad day!
[–]tofeelforever 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I try to buy dresses that will also look good paired with tights and a cardigan for the winter. :)
[–]tofeelforever 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not sure that "suck it up" is good advice when it comes to bearing the pain of wearing heels as it pretty accepted that long term heel wear is bad for your feet and back.
If heels are your thing, more power to you! But if heels are uncomfortable there are plenty of other shoe options that are just as attractive and feminine.
I for one don't wear heels all that often because I walk a lot at work and I'm already pretty tall (5'10). I wear heels to formal events and that's about it.
[–]MrsStrom 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kitten heels are always a good alternative. They realistically aren't any higher than most tennis shoes, but look feminine and put together.
[–]MrsStrom 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I feel like I've posted this already this week.... Hmm....
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyle/2011/12/tim-gunns-10-essential-wardrobe-items-for-2012/
My white shirt is beige and sleeveless. And my blazer is actually a cardigan. To be fair, I own several cardigans.
Never underestimate the power of CZ studs or a set of pearls to pull together a look.
Every lady needs a wide black belt. It can make the difference between frumpy and shapely. I also recommend a red belt.
Dresses, dresses and more dresses. Put one on with a cardigan, kitten heals and pearl earrings and you have a super feminine and easy look in under 10 minutes.
Did I mention kitten heels? They go with everything.
And finally, throw away everything that doesn't fit, has stains, or your husband doesn't like. When you only own three shirts and two are dirty, the problem of what to wear disappears.
[–]MrsStrom 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wear mine over sweaters, dresses, shirts, under the sweater but over the shirt... the possibilities are endless! :-D
[–]little_red_ 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I promise you can find a pair of heels that is comfortable if you look long enough. I am not a fan of shopping for hours but if it is an investment, so be it. I own quite a few maxi dresses so i can just throw those on when I am hanging around the house instead of shlubbing around in PJ's.
also keep yourself fairly well made. i am not a huge makeup wearer, but make sure to cover your blemishes with some foundation (if a few show up) and dab on a bit of mascara, it will make a world of difference. keep your nails polished and yourself shaved up.
[–]little_red_ 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
http://omogemura.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/dresses.jpg
basically just an ankle-length dress to throw on. its a one piece outfit that is nice enough to go out in but comfortable enough to hang around in the house without really dressing up. i find it more comfortable than pj's and you look more put together.
[–]MrsKittenHeel 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I love kitten heels. Or anything with a low heel 1-3 inch. I think you'll find you can comfortably go to three inches in the right shoe. Anyhow Kitten Heels actually are great little heels. They are less obvious, they give all the benefits of high heels (better posture, shaping legs, making one appear thinner) but with little to no pain. They are better for your feet than high heels too. You can run in them. You can walk quickly in them. Climbing hills and stuff is fine. They are easier to buy online too because they comfier than high heels so you have a bigger buffer. I have a couple of great pairs from modcloth maybe look there.
My wardrobe = kitten heels, sundresses, cardigans. I have a rainbow of colours of dresses and cardis too. It is so easy to co-ordinate and look feminine.
Anyhow don't underestimate a kitten heel.
P.S I am saving a link to this thread because its a gold mine. Thanks for asking this question :)
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrsKittenHeel 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Heres one but you can mix and match colours its easy.
http://wwzdw.com/z/3989/
[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Petite, skinny, pear shaped? My specialty! Haha. As far as being comfortable, nothing beats leggings and dresses for me. I hate wearing underwear, but with leggings I don't have to. Super comfy and feminine, and my husband likes me in dresses. He prefers hose to leggings, but I can't wear them to work, so I save them for the weekends. You barely even have to think about the outfit. It's like a clothing cheat code for me.
Oh, and there's nothing wrong with sticking to lower heels. I have some tall ones for the sexy factor, but my husband will march my ass right back inside to change shoes if I'm trying to wear them when we're going to be doing any walking for more than about thirty feet. An extra two inches on my heels isn't worth having me be in pain in his opinion.
[–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sorry, I should've been more specific. Here are a couple of examples I liked, including what I'm wearing at work today:
http://i.imgur.com/UuGs41x.jpg http://i.imgur.com/7ibrYfT.jpg http://i.imgur.com/9OX3zY6.jpg
I say it works for your body type because mine is the same. Sometimes I will wear shorter dresses, or tighter dresses, because my butt is my best asset aside from my face. When I'm not trying to do the sexy thing I wear longer or more flowy dresses.
They key to making this easy to throw together is getting a lot of neutral leggings. I have several pairs of black leggings that pair well with just about anything. I also have other colors and prints that I bought specifically to go with a few other items but don't look right with much else.
The reason I suggest this combo as an excellent intro to feminine dressing is that dresses are about as feminine as one can get, but if you aren't used to wearing a lot of them adding the leggings is like the best of both worlds. It's no more difficult to throw together than a tshirt and jeans. There's some extra coverage if you're worried about length or having an accidental Marilyn Monroe moment.
And it also works in the winter! I have a few pairs of fleece lined leggings that are very warm. Paired with a sweater dress and some cute boots and I've got a toasty but girly outfit. You can stretch flowy summer dresses into spring and fall as well by adding a cardigan and some thicker leggings.
[–]KlaiFrai1 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Already you're on the right track by dumping stuff he doesn't like. I do that in stages. Less awesome clothes become hairdying/housecleaning/painting shirts until I have enough things to replace them with, then I let them go. It's hard for me to dress badly now, because I've removed the bad (with SO's help, of course). Also, start hitting the stores with accessory deals like 4 for $10, and buy a bunch of everything to start with. There are many non-tacky options there. For shoes, the only times I wear ridiculously high heels is when I'm not going to be leaving the bed. Otherwise my shoes don't go higher than an inch or two. It just means taking longer to find flattering flats.
[–]KlaiFrai1 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Scarves, jewelry, hair things (I've got a thing for little clip-on flowers), purses, sunglasses, whatever you want.
Dangly earrings already look more feminine than studs, and you don't need heavy ones. If you don't want to get an accessory in every color, find out what metal color [silver, gold, copper, or pewter(darker grey silver)] looks best on your skin, and buy different necklaces/earrings/bracelets in that metal. I find it looks weird if I mix metals on an outfit, but that's just my preference, and keeps the number of accessories from taking over the room.
Also, you might prefer a longer crossbody purse (Like so: http://onscreenstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/This-is-40-Debbie-Leslie-Cross-Body-Bag-Satchel-Purse.jpg) to a one-shoulder purse, because it gives you more freedom of arm movement.
[–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I'm in the exact same boat as you. I didn't have a mother who I could learn this stuff from, and I had no idea how to dress myself. I'm getting better, but it takes a lot of patience and a lot of practice. Just the other day I bought a blue dress that I thought was reasonably adorable, and my SO vetoed it. This is where being patient comes in, especially if you have a hard to dress body type, like me. You have to try on a ton of things before one thing fits you properly. What happened with that dress was that I thought it was "good enough" after going through tons of dresses that were just plain awful. The dress wasn't cut quite right, but it was a large improvement over everything else, so I bought it. It ended up being not good enough, and it happened because I was impatient and willing to settle.
As for how I'm learning... Well constant feed back from my SO, in addition to that I have a friend who is gifted in the skills you've described (picking colors, understanding how things will look by seeing them on the hanger, etc). She has helped me pick out some clothes. Unfortunately, it seems to be more of a gift then a skill, because she is unable to teach me how it works. I've watched youtube tutorials and lots of episodes of What Not to Wear (which I recommend you check out), and I'm still figuring it out. I'm with you, I wish there was a class on this stuff.
As for shoes, there is nothing wrong with a 2 inch heel, that's feminine and perfect. Personally, if I go 3 inches, my ability to walk goes down hill. I recommend looking up ballroom heels. They are made for dancers, so they are made to be extremely comfortable. I have bought 4 pairs of them, and each one fits like a comfortable dream. In fact, my heels are the most comfortable shoes I own, including my sneakers and my flats. They are made in all kinds of styles from conservative to flashy, and they are not too expensive. I personally like to buy them at lightinthebox.com, because even though the shipping is expensive (and takes forever... From China), a lot of the shoes on the website are modular at no extra cost. That means you can pick the heel height and thickness to your preference, to create the perfect shoe.
[–][deleted] 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Eeeeeeeeek! You buy shoes without trying them on? I wear the shoes for about 20 minutes in the store, walking around, before I make a decision. I want to know if something is going to HURT. Is there a place where they can be tried on? Or are they only available on-line? (still going to check the website out though)
Yeah, I understand your hesitation. That's exactly how I felt the first time I bought shoes online. But, I was sick of anything I found at the regular store (payless) just being uncomfortable. People swore that they were comfortable, and I have extra money, so I decided on a whim to try one. I bought just one basic style, with a pretty small heel, and took it for a test drive when it got to my house. It turns out that shoes are one if the few things I can buy on a whim online, and they will fit pretty reliably. Shoes and skirts, that's pretty much it.
Can you recommend any other websites/tutorials?
Unfortunately, none really stick out in my mind as making a light bulb go off in my head. It's just kind of osmosis of learning things bit by bit. You can check out URBANOGcom's youtube channel though, she has fun and informative videos.
[–]MrsKittenHeel 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
www.wwzdw.com = What Would Zooey Deshanel Wear. Great site :)
And as mentioned earlier modcloth. They have a style gallery where their customers post pictures online of wearing their dresses and stuff.
[–]a_killa_kitty1 points 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Good heels won't hurt your feet. I just realized I spend more on my shoes than outfits. Don't buy cheap 30$ shoes. Practice. Practice. Practice. I just bought Anne Klein heels. Think they were 70$. They aren't as high as my others but they are super comfortable and easy to walk in.
Last week I went to a private college and dressed normally and the women kept telling me how nice I looked. They asked if I just got off of work. I said no I was a house wife. All the attention made me really uncomfortable tbh. I was terrified they would ask where I got the outfit. Top came from jcpennys. Skirt came from a yard sale. Capt and I go to yard sales often looking for camping gear. I have found some nice treasures going with him. It doesn't take a fortune to dress nice. You just have to keep your eye out. 8)
[–]MrsKittenHeel 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Additionally I buy most of my dresses second hand from eBay :)
And get rid of annnnything which looks crap but you find comfy, because otherwise you will put it on. You can't if it is gone :)
I'd advocate a more simpler approach. Buy two more dresses, that are practical and an a-line or "hippie style" skirt that is long. Wear them regularly. You are dressed more feminine, you don't need to angst over it.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm just gonna give off a list of feminine clothes and jewelry (in my opinion.) -Dresses. Preferably floral/lace sundresses. Maxi dresses work well as well but it's good to "dress them down" because sometimes they make it look like you're going to a ball, not the mall. -If you're going to wear pants/jeans, wear a feminine top in a pretty colour and pattern. Pastels, lace, flowers... -Subtle heels are nice and not too slutty. Strappy sandals with cute gem decals are charming. Flats are nice too. Wearing little anklets can help dress up more plain sandals. -For jewelry, I always opt for delicate silver chains and hoop earrings. Rings and bracelets are cool too - just don't overdo it. Think delicate and classy.
A rule I go by is only show off one asset - if you're wearing shorts and showing off your legs, wear a modest top. If you're gonna show a little cleavage, opt for more modest leg wear.
Soft, pink makeup and long hair also does wonders for being feminine! Sometimes I like to wear a flower headband (kind of hippy-ish, but I'm 18 so I think I can still pull it off.)
Have a staple purse or a clutch (preferably in a neutral colour so it matches everything.)
Also having nice, well groomed and manicured nails help as well with overall style.
I hope this helps!
[–]Bbyybbbaby 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
I used to have the same problem as you. I was a slob, I could dress feminine on occasion but really didn't care. A long time before I became more RP, I decided I wanted to have more class and elegance. So with my husbands permission I threw out every piece of slob clothing and underwear. I literally only had left a skirt and top I was wearing.
I immediately went shopping, I bought only the Tim Gunns essentials and started with that. That's all I had. I slowly built up over time more pieces but refused to buy anything slobby, I no longer have track pants, I don't have any lounge pants, tee shirts etc. I only have skirts, blouses, dress pants, dresses, cardigans etc
I would say get rid of the slobby clothes, can't dress like a slob if you haven't got the slob clothes, plus you will find that you want to take pride your appearance more after that.
For inspiration I would say look to royals, Kate Middleton, princess Mary of Denmark, follow the styles they have and invest in good pieces and tailoring.
Whilst heels are good, if you struggle with them wear ballet flats, unless you are good in heels stick with flats until you master them as you tend to be more awkward if you haven't mastered the skill of high heel walking.
Accessories never go big and chunky always aim for dainty and elegant pieces, figure out if gold or silver suits your skintone best and stick with it. Never go overboard on accessories either. If your wearing a necklace and earrings keep it at that, don't then add a braclet and rings, less is more and the same goes for make up, hair, think natural flowing hair with a style that frames you face and brings out your best features. Never pull the hair back harshly not only does it break your hair but it can pull the skin in weird places and give your face a much older appearance.
Hope this helps
Edit: blah I'm an idiot I quickly responded whilst running out the door and didn't read it all. Sorry if this doesn't answer you correctly.
[–]Bbyybbbaby 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nope not at all! I do it all the time. I tend to search online first for items I want then print the off to show the sales person exactly what I want.
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[–]sierrasechoEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points6 points (7 children) | Copy Link
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