Someone posted this link on TRP: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/17/opinion/sunday/poor-little-rich-women.html?_r=0

I posted a reply there, but I think a conversation here would be worthwhile. This was my reply:

I'm this kind of wife. I don't live in NYC at that level, call me a regional version. My husband is very high up in IT. I used to do the same kind of thing, we met at a party, and bam - 15 years marriage, two almost-teenagers. I've been the SAHM since having my first. At this point I'm probably not employable in what I used to do, but I've moved on to charity and volunteering.

I figure my most important job is to keep him happy - I know what that means to him, and I make sure it happens. It's not hard, but it means meeting standards constantly and dependably. If I go off the rails, this whole family would fall apart.

What this author doesn't seem to understand is that, like the subjects of her book, I knew the deal. I worked very hard in my career. I met a guy who shared my values. We both agreed what we wanted in life and set out to accomplish our goals. It hasn't always gone to plan - one of our kids has a significant disability, the housing market beat the snot out of us - but our goal is to have a happy life, and we keep working on it.

My number one goal is to stay married to him. I won't get a better deal anywhere. Notice that I haven't talked about love. Love is as much a state of mind as anything else. I know what my husband needs and I give it to him. He knows what I want and he gets it for me.

The minute I let things go, the sharks (those bitches!) will circle. I don't ever expect infidelity but I would have to expect him to choose not to be miserable if I were to become some kind of monster that he didn't marry.

Those wives in NYC have a lot more to lose than me. Their husbands will always have newer women throwing themselves at them, and they have to do a lot more than me to keep on their game. Wow, the stories I could tell, just about my regional friends.