I don’t know where to begin. I suppose the start is a good place!

I (F26) got married to JMH (m27) this year. We have been together for two years. I guess I’ve come to the point where I’m sick of being treated like the maid, the slut and the caregiver. Tonight has been the tipping point of him choosing to go on a weekend bender, despite knowing that we no longer have any substantial time off together until Christmas, without children around.

I took the time to read the FDS handbook tonight. In fact, I’ve been on this sub for some time and have certainly empathised with women who found that they were encouraging LVM. To find out my husband is one too was a bit of a gut punch!

I want to know how to start implementing the me first changes. I’m a natural people pleaser and constantly try to put others before myself. It’s about damn time I started looking after me for me. How do people go about implementing their queen status and so on when already in a relationship? Where am I best starting?

I’m sick of feeling like I’m the bottom of the pile (football, friends, children and his parents come first). I know a lot of your thoughts will be but you knew what he was like before you married him - well, he hid it VERY well in the first year or so but the veneer started to crack.

I’ve got anxiety every time he goes out “just to have fun with his friends” because when he comes home it’s me who he regularly tells is a piece of shit and horrible. And you know when you hear something just enough times?

Anyhow, serve it straight no chaser. I need all the help I can get.