The "Fuck yes or no" rule? Have you found it to be true?

blackedoutfast · 2016-10-07T03:13:07+00:00

you can turn a lukewarm girl into a girl who you orbit and catch oneitis for. but generally sexual attraction decreases the better she knows you. if you're fucking her good she can bond with you over time. but if you're not fucking her but getting to know her better you are quickly killing whatever sexual attraction she might feel for you.

the exception would be if you are hotter than she initially thought. so if you are shredded but you're wearing shitty clothes the first time she sees you. or you're just an average looking guy but you have awesome game and social status that she doesn't find out about until later. but this is a really short term type thing.

lnanek · 2016-10-07T04:04:38+00:00

Texting is a game, where, unfortunately the way to signal you are valuable is by not acting clingy and responding immediately or much. Act like you have a dozen girls, not like you are hanging on the response of any one.

Marino4K · 2016-10-07T03:23:21+00:00

It's ridiculously true. Attraction is determined in the first few seconds. And you shouldn't even consider a girl as a girlfriend if she isn't infatuated with you to the point of obsession.

Cunt_Robber · 2016-10-07T04:55:36+00:00

You're not valuable enough in her eyes and/or she's not that invested. If she takes forever to respond you can assume she's talking to other guys. If she really wanted you, be sure she'd make herself available for you.

Attempt to set up a face-to-face over coffee or something insignificant, but in a way that leaves it open for her to give input on the time(s) she is free and the location. The point is to set up a date together with input from both parties. Be playful. If she makes it needlessly complicated (call her out on it) or doesn't reply, soft next and don't invest any more of your time or energy on it, move on. For example, last wkend I matched with 3 girls on tinder. One flaked on our date tonight (I expected it and prepared backup activity) and I have a coffee date set up this wkend with the second match. The 3rd one isn't in town but is in touch. Point is: doesn't matter this first one flaked, I've got my 3 old plates and 1 new date this wkend, and in touch with new girl who's out of town.

If you start seeing a trend of flakes, become suspicious of something you may be doing to turn them away. Be very self-conscious of your behavior, your text game, the content of your social media/dating sites, etc. For example, I had a funny tinder bio for a month and got no matches, so I edited it to a more serious one stating my hobbies and my profession, lo and behold I started getting regular matches. I didnt change any pictures. Apparently that made a huge difference. Point is, be mindful of yourself, you may be able to spot perceived flaws you can change to improve yourself.

brooklynisburnin · 2016-10-07T05:45:29+00:00

If she's lukewarm and you're actually asking this to yourself, then you're more invested in her than she's in you, those are really bad odds for you to start a relationship with.

If she becomes distant after being truly attracted to you, then you may want to review your behavior lately, but if she's not that interested from the get go, then to me is a plate only situation.

Rapefugeekilla · 2016-10-07T06:48:24+00:00

I've tried this before, before I found TRP. It went to shit real quick, but why would you have a relationship with this girl if she's like this? You could easily go out there and find one that's actually interested in you, which would be more right in the traditional manner

Thizzlebot · 2016-10-07T05:22:30+00:00

Only the Sith deal in absolutes.

Entropy-7 · 2016-10-07T03:14:34+00:00

It's not worth the effort if you are in a city of any size. Leave them be, take a shot in the dark in a few weeks but otherwise move on.

southernkings · 2016-10-07T14:36:03+00:00

When first getting to know a girl, is the relationship

Stopped reading here. There is no relationship at this point.

[deleted] · 2016-10-07T06:26:23+00:00

is the relationship usually doomed if she takes forever to respond to texts or just doesn't seem that interested?

If it's online dating, I generally give it 24 hours or so and then block their profile. Lukewarm is unacceptable for dozens of reasons. Bitches need to move fast online. If woman "x" doesn't want to talk to me, woman "y" will. Looks aside, they're all kind of the same.

If it's a woman I know in person the dynamics are different depending on what context I met her and know her. Lukewarm is fine if it's somebody like that, and yes you can convert her if you do it right. Main thing is to stay out of the friendzone, don't hover, and don't connect with her on FB until you've actually had sex with her.

There are megatons of flakey girls, there's really no way out of that. It's not really a battle between yourself versus them, but more of a battle between yourself versus the radio silence & dry spells. They're not doing it to piss you off, don't take it personally. It's easy to get a little attached/emotional/butthurt in the beginning, but you can break out of it by staying out of the friendzone, not hovering, and not connecting with her on FB. Your goal is to meet chicks and make connections, not to wait around for eternity on favorites and special foxes.

scrodzilla · 2016-10-07T02:59:21+00:00

I use it when determining whether to start/stay in an LTR.

FrameWalker · 2016-10-07T03:53:55+00:00

When first getting to know a girl, is the relationship usually doomed if she takes forever to respond to texts or just doesn't seem that interested? Have you ever turned a lukewarm girl into a loyal girlfriend?

What kinda delay we talking here? 1 hr? or 1 day? If it's 1 day forget it. Stick to the 2/3 rule also

plenty_of_eesh · 2016-10-07T11:42:27+00:00

Possible? Yes.

Like a rich man getting into heaven, or a whelk's chance in a supernova.

spexer · 2016-10-07T16:10:54+00:00

no.

You want her more than she wants you. Only option is to soft next her and see if your lack of want pulls her around.

notimportantjustme · 2016-10-07T05:52:05+00:00

Haven't you seen any movies? Of course it's possible.

Title	The "Fuck yes or no" rule? Have you found it to be true?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	32
Date	October 7, 2016 2:18 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5695l8/the_fuck_yes_or_no_rule_have_you_found_it_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/the-fuck-yes-or-no-rule-have-you-found-it-to-be.183834 https://theredarchive.com/post/183834

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