Always Say Less than Necessary

RedPillJax · 2016-02-02T22:34:59+00:00

The best thing I found besides taking a minute to think before answering (as others have said) was learning to accept that I didn't have to explain myself, especially when someone wasn't asking me to explain.

When I said something, I used to rattle out all my justification for it, as if the person was already getting ready to criticize what I was saying - so that all my rebuttals would already be out there, right?

The fact is, 90% of the time, you don't need to explain yourself. If the person has questions, you can address them in turn - but there's no need to prattle out your explanation if it's not necessary. It makes you come off as much more confident and self-assured if you state things as facts that exist because they do, rather than opinions that exist because of x, y, z, and if you consider the implications of a, b and c you can tell that's it's right for me to feel the way that I do.

Helped me, anyway.

oglowkey · 2016-02-02T20:55:39+00:00

Think before you talk you don't have to answer something immediately. We tend to ramble when our thoughts aren't together next time you're asked something look away think about it and answer it wisely. This takes practice but after a while you condition yourself to think before you talk and your responses will take less time but with the same amount of thought.

BaconEggsAndSleaze · 2016-02-03T13:15:10+00:00

Learn how to make other people talk.

Ask questions, stay in the moment.

Make assumptions.

Don't talk about yourself, your thoughts, your experiences.

Make them always come full circle with those you are talking to.

SureImShore · 2016-02-02T22:07:35+00:00

Slow down your speech. Speak clearly and concisely. Don't explain yourself or describe every bit of your thought process.

GunsGermsAndSteel · 2016-02-03T00:28:14+00:00

Pretend each word costs a dime.

Eliminate the use of fillers such as "like", "kinda", "but", "or whatever", etc.

rollhax · 2016-02-03T03:20:38+00:00

Let others finish their piece and ACTIVELY LISTEN while they are speaking. Many tend to formulate a response while the other party is still talking, leading to you not listening and thus poor conversation. Listen to what they say, think on it for a second, and give your response.

feminazis_stalk_me · 2016-02-03T04:05:30+00:00

As a married guy, I know this one all too well. Anything you say can and will be used against you. I keep my answers short and concise. I avoid details and If it's not pertinent information that you don't need to divulge, then keep it to yourself.

If you are pressed for details and you either don't want to give them or you question the motive for them wanting the information, then avoid it by changing the subject (ask them a question, start talking about something else or bringing up something unrelated that has been 'on your mind') or evasion (leaving to go tend to something else that requires your attention or remembering something you had forgotten to do).

Or, if the subject is sensitive enough, you can just flat out say you don't want to talk about it and refuse to mention it again.

If somebody is pumping me for gossip, then I tend to have fun with them. I look them in the eye and say "that's classified" and then wink at them while smiling. Or I tell them the information will "cost" them and when they ask the price, I will demand a candy bar, a briefcase of money or something else outrageous.

People usually pump you for details when they are interested in you. This usually happens around a new group of friends or in a new job. To keep the air of mystery around myself longer, I usually become a bit evasive and secretive when the topic turns to me.

An example of this is recently when a group of female coworkers were standing around talking and I walked by them. I stopped dead and asked who was wearing a particular scent, which I named. They all immediately became intrigued that I - manly man - would be able to identify a perfume. I went a step further and identified the scents on two other women and left it at that. Of course, my wife has all those scents, but I didn't let them know that. I could have divulged that information, but I wanted them to come to their own conclusions. Maybe I'm a player. Maybe I know them from my wife. Maybe I've bought those scents for other women. But the point is, I kept quiet about it. If you reveal too much, you ruin the magic. Open books are boring, and never worth re-reading.

RPNietzsche · 2016-02-03T07:38:40+00:00

Read the book.

IVIaskerade · 2016-02-03T11:55:41+00:00

The next time you're going to say something, don't. It's that simple. You catch yourself about to talk, stop. Think about it. Then, if you still think the situation merits your input (that's how you frame it - all of your input is high value and the only decision to be made is whether or not it's actually worth your time to impart it or wither it'll be wasted on the people) you can give out a thoughtful and measured response appropriate to the setting.

yGTWgtNrco · 2016-02-03T14:05:31+00:00

"Brevity is the soul of wit" -- Lord Polonius

youcantdenythat · 2016-02-02T21:12:59+00:00

... maybe you can get one of those electro-shock bark collars?

Title	Always Say Less than Necessary
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	16
Date	February 2, 2016 8:51 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/43w865/always_say_less_than_necessary/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/always-say-less-than-necessary.187059 https://theredarchive.com/post/187059

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