(By popular request, I'm making this into a post. This was in response to a sub-question in the thread, "Why do women love being treated like dirt? ")

The best thing I can think of is to let yourself imagine the lives of two men.

Lets call them Alan the alpha and Bob the beta.

Alan the alpha is born hot. Soon after puberty, maybe around sophomore year high school, women were noticing him. Pretty soon, he had sex. Alan was nervous, he made every mistake in the book. He was just as scared as anyone else fucking for the first time.

Suzie, the girl who took his virginity, was very unsatisfied. She didn't respond to his texts after they fucked. But that didn't matter, because Tiffany managed trip, fall, and land on his dick a few weeks later.

This cycle continues, until Alan is pretty comfortable in bed. Also, he's as horny as any teen, but he likes fucking really hot girls more than ugly ones. So he stops leading the ugly ones on.

He starts screening them out. Its pretty easy to do, high school girls are pretty fragile: just a cold word or two in her direction, and she's a ghost.

(It is at this time, girls begin to associate this cold aloofness, this screening, with a high value male!)

Next, he gets sick of crazy girls, dramatic girls, and girls that are 'hard work'. He really didn't like that pregnancy scare, or when he found out that Sarah was sleeping with Greg at the same time she was fucking him. That shit was a turn off.

By college, Alan is screening out these girls too. Women talk sometimes after sex, and he's surprised to learn that lots of these girls have boyfriends. He gets an education as to what these girls are doing behind their SO's backs.

So then his screening process gets even deeper, as he looks for a girl that isn't morally bankrupt, just because he's hot and can get laid at will, he doesn't want a girl without loyalty. He's got a big group of friends, so he hears a lot of the guys talking. He realizes that women do things sexually with him that they rarely do to his less attractive friends. This confuses him, but he doesn't think much of it.

Because of his years of success, his confidence level is high, and he has been talking to and hitting on the hottest women around for years, and gradually he has learned natural responses to all the tests and traps women throw at him. Even so, he's generally ignoring those tests, because he's too busy testing them. Not every woman wants him, but if he pursues one, and fails, it doesn't get to him much. This is because he gets 40 texts a night anyhow, some from girls he doesn't even know or can't remember.

In fact, by the time he's 23, most female attention isn't even welcome anymore. He develops an instinctive response that just shuts down girls, by being cold and offish - he just brushes them off. He's at the club to be with his 'bros', and wants to run into that french exchange doctorate student again with the legendary figure - the one he only got a blowjob from and forgot to get her number. However, this random girl who won't stop camping his table is honestly really bugging him.

He feels for her tho, must suck. This random hb6 is not going to get him into bed, not looking the way she does. He tries to let her down easy, but it needs to be firm or he'll have yet another clingy-hanger-on.

By this age, he's got this well built, instinctual and natural way of interacting with women that quickly and efficiently weeds out the types of women he does not want to fuck. His entire demeanor is colored by this, he tests, disarms, and observes the women around him with amused mastery every moment he's with them.

Also, due to getting whatever he wants, he's free to explore his sexual identity and ideas - he is able to easily let go, and find that often, he likes exploring his masculinity through dominance during sex. He's not afraid to hurt or offend a girl, because from what he can see, not only do women really like that, but even if one doesn't, there is ten more on deck who do. He's tried everything in the book, and noted what works for him, and all those experiences go into his sexual toolbox.

Now, lets talk about Bob the beta.

Bob obviously didn't start out like Alan. In fact, he got stuck at what was Alan's first step.

Women weren't automatically and overtly attracted to Bob when he went through puberty. He wanted to get laid as much as Alan. But no one came to his doorstep, and in fact when Bob tried to get a girl, he got consistently turned down.

So what did Bob do? He got stuck trying to figure out how to make women want him.

It's this thought process that really poisons the well. He asks girls for advice, but all the things they tell him to do, don't work. He reads books, but that doesn't work either.

He takes a conglomeration of everything he hears, reads and observes and tries to come up with a method of acting (or being) that will attract a woman.

But all the advice he ever got was horribly feminized. Now, Bob's not all that unattractive, it's just Alan was more attractive, and he was attractive first, during formative teenage years.

Because of this, Bob's reactions to women are all mis-wired. He thinks, "Well, I like it when women are nice to me, and my female friends bitch about guys being douchebags, so obviously it would be attractive to be nice."

This is a very simplistic, ignorant line of thought. Of course they like niceness, but that isn't going to generate sexual attraction. It's only a tiny piece of the puzzle, and yet he's fixated on it. He's got a few hang-ups of this nature.

So, when Bob goes up to women in high school, they give him sideways looks, or laugh at him, which makes him uncomfortable, and makes him worry about himself on a deep level.

Sometimes they flat out reject him, and this is very painful to 15 year old Bob. So he stops approaching women so much, opting instead for doing sideways social approaches to try and test the water, so he's not exposed to so much emotional risk from rejection.

This means he gets very little practice talking to women, and more importantly, almost no practice talking to attractive women.

The resulting situation is that when he's in an interaction with a woman, he has no experience to fall back on, or limited and bad experience (like his crazy high school girlfriend he had for half a year who cheated on him).

So he relies on the mental picture of 'attractive man' he made up in his head. It's an uneducated, immature, untested, ideological fantasy.

He's still stuck at step 1! A little time passes, and now Bob has matured. He is in college now, and Bob got involved in sports and lifting, and honestly Bob's looking pretty hunky now - if he knew the first thing about what he was doing.

But he's still stuck trying to figure out how to create female desire.

So when the girls come talk to him now, he's so mis-wired, that he either lays out the red carpet for them, which turns them off, or misses their invitations altogether.

These women have been interacting with alphas and high value men for years now. They know what an alpha SHOULD react like, so when they throw off all the 'come and fuck me signals' , he doesn't do anything right.

They tease him, he takes it personally. They run away, expecting to be chased, and he never calls. They give him open invitations, and he texts every single day with boring shit, always expecting her to tell him what to do. Fuck! He kills whatever attraction is there like he's born for killing it.

In fact, that's exactly what he's been practicing for the last six years!

He's been attempting to display himself, and his mental image is much worse than he thinks, and he is way more transparent than he believes.

Because he doesn't have much value. He doesn't know himself: He cannot fuck her the way she wants, he doesn't have the experience. he doesn't have the confidence. He has no masculine core.

Any woman is going to crush him, mentally and emotionally, and he displays that - with his fear, his nervousness, his anger and his instability.

His version of the instinctual interaction he has honed in dealing with women is exactly the opposite of Alan's. He's skittish, appears afraid and uncomfortable, changes his view or frame quickly, is eager to please, quick to anger, quick to become flustered or confused - and appears to have no direction or desire in his interactions. Plus, at no point is he ever attempting to screen out a woman, because, lets face it, any one will do.

What Bob really needs is to see the world through the eyes of Alan. It would make sense then.

Then he would realize he doesn't have to be afraid, he doesn't have to be deceptive, or angry. And that solidarity and confidence in himself would lead him to the experience he needs to start living his own alpha life.

IF he can unlearn what he has unwittingly taught himself.

A lot of guys get the cart before the horse when they start swallowing the pill.

She doesn't like you because you 'treat her like dirt'. In fact, she probably doesn't want to be treated like dirt at all. She wants the high value man, the rare man, the alpha male package. And the high value man has a lot going for him, a lot more than the size of his biceps, or the definition of his six pack. And she can't tell that stuff right away, so she looks for signals and signs that the man who is physically sexy is also high value in other ways - and often times that means she's looking for the guy who is attempting to screen most women out.

This also illustrates that if you weren't Alan the alpha, you may have some well rehearsed, unconscious, and deep seated behaviors that may take quite some time to unlearn. It is stupid to expect swallowing the pill to come quickly or easily in many cases.

TLDR : Fuck you , get me a beer and a sandwich.

Also, I want to draw attention to /r/ASKTRP to you, as the mods did a little bit ago. There are a lot of guys who really have their heads on straight, and spend a lot of time and effort wading through some deep shit, 14 year olds, and trolls in an effort to help new people. This includes (but is not limited to)

/u/AlphaAsFAQ , /u/niczar, /u/GrandCzarOfRedPill, /u/bicepsblastingstud, /u/Summertime_dimes, a few others I can't recall, and of course /u/RedPillSchool.

Drop by once in a while, drop some science on the new guys, give back. Besides, nothing sharpens you up like having to explain what you have internalized to someone who is lost in the dark.