What follows is the story of my boss. I sometimes wonder the utility of these sorts of stories, but I like reading them and it's been on my mind lately, plus it's kind of a way to check in with reality every once in a while, so here we go.

My boss is a somewhat wealthy man. I'd estimate his annual income in the mid-six figures, but he's also very investment savvy and from what I gather, he's got a diverse and well-performing portfolio.

He is a minor celebrity in our city, in the field of health. So it is his job to look healthy--and he does. He's in his early 40s and could pass for late 20s. He's fit as fuck (but not really stacked) and he is a helluva sharp dresser. All in all, I have a lot of respect for this guy and what he does and what he's built.

Then there's his wife. Up until six months ago, her "job" was to take care of their two children--but the nanny does that. So she spends her days doing yoga and going to spas. Fine, whatever. I'm not judging. If I could pull it off, I probably would. But she's a ridiculous bitch. She brags about how she's an "alpha female," talks shit about anyone and everyone who doesn't meet her standards (which is everyone because she has no friends to the point that we, the employees, were paid by our boss to throw her a party once), and generally walks around like she's so busy and stressed even though it's hard to imagine she's ever put in a full day of work in her life.

Well she gets the idea that she's an "entrepreneur" so her and my boss come up with this absurd business idea (I won't say the details for obvious reasons). Over the course of several months, they (meaning he) get this business going. My boss showed me the bill, it was about a quarter million dollars.

So finally the business is up and running. Grand opening, ribbon cutting, the mayor turns up and everything. Good times.

My boss is invested (literally) and being the business-savvy guy that he is, wants to make sure it's successful so he's working overtime managing employees, doing marketing, etc.

Wifey thinks that's an infringement on her supposed alpha status and "fires" him.

Well, he's invested, so he's still handling shit behind the scenes, figuring she'll just think things work out on their own because, let's face it, she's pretty incompetent and useless when it comes down to it.

But she finds out and they get in a huge fight.

Meanwhile, wifey's business has been hiring us employees on the side. We're very much underpaid (another way he's pretty savvy) so we're all looking for side gigs. Myself and another employee start part-timing at the new place. Boss starts coming in and telling us with this terrified look on his face that we can't bring anything to wifey that might "stress her out," which is apparently anything at all.

The business isn't doing well (predictably) so he starts secretly getting involved again. And again, she finds out. They have another knock-down-drag-out over it. He comes in the next day and tells the ones of us who were working for the other business that we should quit because there are conflicts of interest, and that (for real this time), he's going to leave everything completely up to her.

We know and he knows that it's going to tank under her leadership. Rather than informing his wife that she's incompetent--or better yet, telling her it was a dumb idea to begin with--he'd rather let a quarter million get flushed down the tubes.

So what happened? Obviously, he indulges her "Alpha female" bullshit. He protects her from the real world, any stress, presumably to get pussy--which I doubt is happening. He's scared shitless of her. And honestly, even though I know this might alienate a sizable portion of this sub, his stupid Jesus bullshit gets in his way. He could never dread her because Jesus and marriage and everything (they were both virgins when they got married).

And the worst thing. I fucking KNOW that when that business finally tanks (I give it six months on the outside) that she'll blame him for it.

Lessons learned:

  • Don't be afraid of your woman.