I'm new here, and I have no idea wtf this is all about but....

[deleted] · 2016-11-28T16:44:14+00:00

OP has 2 days to see if he can stow his ego enough to accept his absolute failure at life.

Not hopeful, he doesn't even know how rare it is for weakandsensitive to come out from hiding to shit all over him. Been a while since he brought out the claws

creating_my_life · 2016-11-27T20:24:17+00:00

not be such a whiny little bitch and get your pride back.

and yet your entire post is you being a whiny little bitch.

definitely a rocky relationship...

it is only as rocky as YOU have allowed.

our marriage has been shit, pretty much my fault I had a sever crippling porn addiction and had a extramarital affair she found out about..

Yep. 100% on you. I'd leave you too.

a little over 1 month ago she told me to get out of the house and pack all my shit, I did

That's a mistake. Never ever leave your house.

I... pleaded, begged, apologized, flowers and anything under the sun to ask her to take me back..

That's really pathetic.

it pushed her further and further away.

As every person on this sub would have told you. You need to read the fucking sidebar. Right now.

All she would say

Ignore her words, watch her actions.

I lost my shit, sent her a whole long lovey dovey thanksgiving message about (beta bullshit deleted).

Wow. You're weak as fuck.

I had to call her I was emotionally stunned and when I called her and told her how her weak response made me feel

I'm pushing you away too. Gross.

I have no right to be here

That's a legal issue, and you need to follow your lawyer's advice.

At this point I need to know how to proceed cautiously

STFU. Call three lawyers by Noon on Monday and make appointments to meet them. Pick one and do EVERY FUCKING THING HE SAYS PERFECTLY. Read every book in the sidebar. Twice. Right fucking now. You get 4 hours sleep per night this week and other than work YOU ARE READING.

and carefully to win my wife back

Our job here is to fix you. Maybe your wife will be attracted, maybe not. You can only control you; and you're doing a really fucking poor job of that.

and prove to her I can be the right man for her and our family..

You can't even be the right man for you. How the fuck are you going to demonstrate you can lead a family if you can't even lead yourself. Fix yourself first.

I am currently sober over a month, have a steady job and go to 12 step meetings for continued sobriety.

Funny how this shit always sneaks in at the last minute. Good that you're sober, but holyfuck there's a lot of subtext in here.

I will answer all questions in order to help my shitty situation.

Have you read every fucking book in the sidebar? Have you sorted MRP by value and read like your life depends on it? Have you contact a lawyer?

This is a post with some more details I posted in a different sub:

I'm not going to bother. I'd likely be horrified by what I read.

Look, man, I'm not being harsh on you. I don't know you and don't give a fuck about you. It's really obvious to me that your life has been spinning out of control for a very long time, and you're not even aware of it. The failure of your marriage and your wife's actions ARE A RESULT OF YOU NOT CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE. Fix your root problem (you), and the symptoms (shitty marriage) will magically go away.

Until you fix you, nothing else matters.

weakandsensitive · 2016-11-27T23:56:53+00:00

You seem to think you're a special snowflake and your story is unique and interesting. It's not. No one, except maybe you, cares. And I don't think you actually care either.

Do the work, reap the benefits. Don't, and it doesn't matter to anyone anyway. Maybe some day you'll get a golden frame at the top of the christmas tree.

Edit - for everyone else, entertaining these snowflakes instead of calling out the pure, unadulted, selfish bullshit that OP is posting reflects poorly. this is a guy who doesn't want to change. he wants bandaid solutions. fuck him.

WhiteTrashKiller · 2016-11-27T20:32:08+00:00

Unfuck yourself! Tgis doesn't sound like a true troll post so I will give you my .02. Stop with the porn! You are measuring every woman including your wife up to a person that doesn't exist, the way they look, the way they fuck, nonenof it is real. Get some help with it asap.

Your wife is not your mom. She do3sn't eant to hear your problems, you should be her rock to break against not the other way around. How could she feel secure knowing she has too take care if kids and you. Unload on your Mom, Dad, friends but not your wife.

Accept that you fucked up and it is her right to jetttison your ass. You cannot change her mind about what you did, you can only show through your actions you are improving. You are making yourself into a man other men respect and other women want to be with. It all starts with you.

I caution you on this vomit, others are gonna lay into you. You simply thought everything would be okay fucking someone else when you gave your word. You're supposed to be a man and weigh your risk and reward for your decisions and now you don't like the outcome. I am not here to judge you for fucking someone else, it is your choice and nobody walks in your shoes.

Put a plan together on how you will improve your life. Not to get your STBX back, but to try fix your sorry ass..........

Happy Holidays!

RCMasculinity · 2016-11-28T15:32:13+00:00

Hi mods.

This guy needs more flair than Blue Pill.

Maybe idiot pill?

I dunno. Faggot seems too simple.

[deleted] · 2016-11-28T16:22:52+00:00

Start acting like a man instead of the needy, unstable child you've become.

You fucked your marriage up and you aren't saving it. You need to save yourself and stop fucking with this woman's life.

Fix you, if for no other reason than to help your kids not grow up without a father.

[deleted] · 2016-11-27T20:32:31+00:00

Oh I get it, you thought this sub was about saving marriages...it's about saving men, something you're clearly not interested in doing. Lawyer up and start internalizing the sidebar. Your marriage is done. Try to learn from it so you don't fuck yourself further.

RCMasculinity · 2016-11-27T21:50:18+00:00

Since you suggested it, I looked at some of your prior post history and back story. Feel free to correct me at any point here.

About 151 days ago you posted on the r/nofap Reddit that you were masturbating 7-9 hours a day. Holy catshit. That's some serious abuse to the plumbing there, m8!

At various times it seems that your wife has both taken the kids and left, and kicked you out for this behavior.

So, problem #1. Stop fapping. This seems to be easier said than done for you as you obviously have zero self control and the willpower of a wet noodle. Maybe try wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snap that fucker hard every time you get the irresistible urge to fap. I don't know about you, but pain and erections don't mix for me. Either that or you'll like it and it'll make it worse. Won't know until you try, I suppose.

Problem #2. Stop drinking. This one's easier. Simply don't buy alcohol in any form. Stay away from bars, and stay away from people that drink.

It looks like you just kind of stumbled into the red pill, trying to find answers for an entirely separate set of issues. That's fine brother. Everyone arrives by their own road.

Right now what you need to do is read the suggested books, and lift.

If you lift, I cannot guarantee that you will succeed, as you have to stick with it. It will, however, give you a positive focal point, which is exactly what you need right now. A way to take out your frustrations in a manner that is beneficial.

If you do NOT lift, I can 100% guarantee that you'll fail. Again.

Read. Lift. Do.

no_face · 2016-11-28T02:30:17+00:00

Your marriage is dead bro.

Sorry, but if your wife has kicked you out and called the cops on you, she is not playing little league anymore. She has already decided to live without you.

Your best bet is to accept your loss, maintain a cordial relationship with her for the sake of kids and move on with your life.

First clean yourself up. Sober for 1 month? Fuck. You need to be sober for 12 months straight before you even think of dating or getting your wife back.

Sober up, eat clean, get fit. This comes before anything else.

Meanwhile see your kids everyday if you can. You don't want her to poison their minds against you. Maintain cordial relationship with your wife for logistics only. No more blabbing love to her, no more asking for forgiveness, no more begging her to take you back. That part of you is dead from now on. DEAD.

After a year of sobreity and solid fitness, you can look to date again.... or maybe your wife and you will get back together, but assume that is a 1% chance.

Good luck bro. You fucked up, suffer through the consequences and come out a better man

BluepillProfessor · 2016-11-28T23:29:47+00:00

I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and make it all better. I don't. Op stony is a hard ass but he suspended you because what most of us have to say is not going to help you at this point. This post is almost written by a troll because if you had an inkling of red pill concepts you would not have made half these mistakes.

Showering a woman who has lost attraction with flowers? Really? That is ludicrous.

Moving out of your own home because some girl caught you wanking? You can't be serious.

Wanting to vent your butt hurt emotions on your ex woman? Creepy as fuck.

Proceed cautiously after you are separated? Terrible plan. Unfuck yourself and trade up on this wife model of yours. When you are spinning two plates, watch your woman suddenly decide you can try again.

Then it will be your choice. Now it is not your choice because you have given her all the power. Take it back.

Cunt_Robber · 2016-11-27T21:06:05+00:00

Holy fuck. Im a TRPer but unmarried, been subscribed to see what TRP on hard mode is like. Well, I broke a sweat reading this post. OP what you describe is worse than hell. I hope you pick yourself up and find resolution and success. The RP subs will turn your life around, it all comes down to whether youre willing to actually put in the time and energy. I read somewhere that all men must suffer one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The good news is: you get to pick.

Guys no matter how lonely it gets, Im never getting married.

RCMasculinity · 2016-11-28T16:42:41+00:00

Yeah. Listen.

The men on this thread telling you that the problem in your marriage is you, and that you need to lawyer up now, are absolutely correct.

Let me explain some facts of life to you. You had a porn addiction and you cheated on her. She knows about these things. She kicked you out of your house, she wouldn't let you see your kids on a holiday, and she called the cops on you. She has told you she doesn't love you as a husband anymore, she doesn't want to be married to you, and she doesn't trust you.

Your marriage is over. If you don't file for divorce, she will. In my view, when a woman starts openly talking about not loving her husband and that she doesn't want to be married to him anymore, it's over. When she calls the police on him, it's really over.

So first things first. Today, as in before close of business today, talk to three lawyers and find one willing to represent you. Start doing exactly what that lawyer says to do. You need to face reality here.

ShiveringPines · 2016-11-27T21:06:07+00:00

Dude, /u/creating_my_life is 100% correct. Like him, I don't know your background or anything, but... this situation is a total garbage fire. Step back, get a grip and fix your life, ffs. You don't have an "MRP problem," per se - you have a YOU problem.

sh0ckley · 2016-11-27T22:53:19+00:00

I will answer all questions

Have you asked a sponsor in any 12 Step Fellowship to actually guide you through the steps? Make sure it's a man with at least 5-10 years of sobriety.

It is unlikely that any information here will help you much until you've addressed your addiction(s).

Paging /u/ex_addict_bro, we have a double winner.

redearththeory · 2016-11-28T02:13:54+00:00

I am currently sober over a month, have a steady job and go to 12 step meetings for continued sobriety.

If you're an alcoholic like they describe in the books (as opposed to a heavy drinker), you'll probably have to do a bit more than the standard MRP stuff. Without getting rid of the restless, irritable, discontent, resentful, fearful feeling associated with alcoholism as a mental illness, the things we do here will be virtually impossible. I'm talking about that terrible gnawing feeling that you're trying to fix with these things

sever crippling porn addiction

extramarital affair

I... pleaded, begged, apologized, flowers and anything under the sun to ask her to take me back..

I lost my shit, sent her a whole long lovey dovey thanksgiving message about how this hurts

I proceed to drive to her home and knock, call, text and ring the bell demanding that she let me see the kids

Its always the same terrible feeling isn't it OP? Get a sponsor that has what you want emotionally, do the steps. Read the sidebar, do the MRP work.

BobbyPeru · 2016-11-28T02:52:01+00:00

This is nothing but victim puke.

Read the sidebar, lift. We can't fix you - you have to do the work.

imdone4real · 2016-11-28T12:33:20+00:00

OP. I was sort of like you. Porn, sexting, cheating. Wife left with the kid. You gotta STFU and start working on yourself. Sounds like you have some real addiction issues. A 12 step program probably isn't going to be enough. Find some group therapy with members who will hold you accountable. From now on never talk about your problems with your wife. Find a male who you trust and work through them. Good luck

imdone4real · 2016-11-28T12:53:28+00:00

Yup. Maybe you donated some sperm to herand now you're done.

You have given up your rights to the kids by leaving.

Having said that- get a lawyer. She is begging you to be the one to file for divorce

trp_ocd · 2016-11-28T16:34:19+00:00

Quit arguing with all the men in here to give you advice. You sound like uou want the truth. Don't bitch because you're getting it. STFU, lift, and read the damn sidebar.

KingUmed · 2016-11-29T12:02:58+00:00

Everyone here has dropped gems for you so I'll just add this - Focus on your self. I honestly needed to see this post because I'm actively getting over a LTR and I was in DEEP denial like you are currently (not no where as bad as yours though). It reminded me that thinking she will "take you back" and other beta mentality nonsense WILL destroy you. The BEST thing you can do right now is focus on your self and rebuild yourself... everything else will follow. Read the sidebar.

iloveairplane · 2016-11-29T17:45:13+00:00

bro - I know it is easy to get defensive on this sub, first thing the guys do is jump on the weak-sauce guy who opened himself up and posted all his problems....they call you faggot and that you are shit.

Well, the thing is - look at you, they are right currently....but don't get defensive and argue or fight back with them yet. Just sift through the name calling and put-downs and see the value they bring. You bring nothing currently.

You've done some amazingly wrong things - lets get to work to fix this!!!!

These guys have seen WAAAAAAY too many men getting divorced-raped for less than you have written. You MUST visit a lawyer, just to know what to expect if she hands you papers....you MUST have a plan bro.

Accept that you failed massively, that you deserve what you're going through, and that you will do something about it....then get back to us about visiting a lawyer.

screechhater · 2016-11-30T03:45:52+00:00

Why win her back ?

She is such a bitch you cheated on her, right ?

But then you went crawling back to her and now she needs space.

Advice ? File for divorce. Grow a set

Title	I'm new here, and I have no idea wtf this is all about but....
Author	imdone4real
Upvotes	5
Comments	100
Date	November 27, 2016 7:51 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5f74cf/im_new_here_and_i_have_no_idea_wtf_this_is_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/im-new-here-and-i-have-no-idea-wtf-this-is-all.199323 https://theredarchive.com/post/199323

Comments