When I was younger, I worked at a terrible fast food joint washing dishes. The job sucked but I did it because I wanted money to take a trip for spring break with my friends. I worked nights after school and on the weekends and saved much of what I earned.

Spring break rolls around and I ask for some time off to take my trip. My "boss" expected me to wash dishes over spring break and he told me that I could not take the time off work. I simply told him that I would not be working but would be available the next week if he wanted me to come in. And then I left and had a blast at the beach for a week with friends. He called two days after I returned and let me pick the days I wanted to work.

A few years later I was working at another low skilled job and the higher ups decided to move my group to another location across town. My coworkers flipped out. Some were crying, others had genuine fear in their eyes. Some could not fathom how they would continue to live if they had to drive an extra 40 miles a day. I had enough money in the bank to live for a few weeks so I just told them I would just find another job and continued working while they cried.

A few years after that, in a much better job, a few coworkers and I were asked to provide 24/7 support to customers overseas. This meant that it would be normal to troubleshoot technical issues at 3am from someone who barely speaks English. My coworkers immediately agreed to take on the additional work, but I did not. I expected to be compensated for the additional hours and inconvenience. I knew I had enough money in the bank to live for a few months and did not "need" this job to survive. I received a raise and time and a half for my after hours calls but left because I did not want to answer my phone at 3am.

When most people daydream aloud about "fuck you" money they use numbers in the hundreds of thousands or in the millions. These people are delusional. You only need enough to cover your obligations for a set period of time. When I was 16, this number was in the hundreds. Today, it is in the thousands since I know I only need to take care of the bills and can cut to the bone if needed.

I'm seeing a lot of posts here about finances and budgeting. In order to get your own "fuck you" money, you need to create a budget and some goals and then work to it. I have found that it is easier to save or cut expenses by trying to identify what is "needed" vs "wanted". For example, we recently killed out cable. It was something we wanted but not something we needed. This is a big shift for a lot of people who are used to spending every dime they have and is really big shift when this new worldview is imposed on them by a spouse. In order to be successful, they have to be on board with the vision for less debt and more "fuck you" money. Here are some books that have helped my household.

  1. "Your money or your life". If you need a last minute gift idea for your wife, this is it (you should read it too). Fair warning: This sometimes has a "new age" vibe with terms like "life energy" but the idea is solid: When you spend 65 on another pair of shoes, you are literally exchanging X hours of your life. Some things may not be worth the trade off.

  2. "Total Money Makeover". Once you both agree to change your habits, this book gives you a clear path forward. Fair warning: The book has a slight Christian slant but mostly avoids being preachy and is only slightly annoying.

tldr: "Fuck you money" is a critical for "outcome independence" in other areas of your life. I have it and you don't because you are too lazy to read a post.