Starting the transition

theultmatecad · 2015-04-09T02:59:22+00:00

"Is this just a Beta attitude?"---- Sadly it is.

Things are better in a week right? Imagine when you have turned the corner and have actually internalized TRP rather than just follow some RP pointers you read on the internet.

Things dont get better because you "ALPHA'd" up to the point where you have a sweet sexy slave. They get better because you don't NEED her for your happiness,you wont RELY on her (she is unreliable, you do know that? AWALT), and you wont WORRY about what she might think of your actions.

Added bonus---All of the above is crazy attractive to her & all other women too

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-04-09T11:41:02+00:00

I feel like a married man but with the hope that things will turn around once I start gaining more confidence in myself, but don't want to lose her because of a sudden personality shift. I can already see our dynamic changing, but how do I stop myself from going to far to the point where I don't recognize myself anymore?

I am naturally a nice guy, and want to maintain that kind of rep, but I also want to be someone who doesn't take shit, and take my own dreams and aspirations seriously.

These 2 quotes are insane.

You are trying to take back your masculinity and the belief in self that was stripped from you via your father and society in general. You want to take yourself seriously but not at the expense of having other's opinion of you change and you are worried that you can't be who your woman wants you to be?!?!

Be Yourself try to be the best version of you that you possibly can be. If your lady doesn't like you for who you really are instead of the you that everyone else wants you to be then she isn't worth your time.

Yes, it's uncomfortable realizing everything you thought you knew about success and living an optimal life is a lie - So What??

You have to start doing what is right and what is true. Remove the facade of being 'A nice guy' because if you are being yourself then whatever labels come to you will be earnest ones.

People think I'm nice because I don't try to be anything. I'm nice because I help people out, don't bitch or gossip, and tell it how it is directly to the person. I do these things because I want to, not because I'm looking to get anything from it. Direct confrontation may seem to you to be a negative, but it's the opposite

You have made some improvements already, keep your foot on the gas and start taking charge of life and responsibility for where you are and where you aren't.

If you want to write a book/complete a project/compete in a competition then you need to make those things happen and not expect it to just occur because you want it to.

Read more of the sidebar and the recommended blogs and realize there is more to TRP than the external 'Alpha Growth'. There are intangible benefits that will occur inside and then you'll better understand what it is you want from life and how you're going to get it.

SexistFlyingPig · 2015-04-09T03:18:10+00:00

"but don't want to lose her because of a sudden personality shift..."

Son, you might lose her. But that's okay, because if you do, it wasn't you she was with. It was your waiting on her hand and foot. Do you want to try to do every little thing she wants and needs (without her ever having to tell you) for the rest of your life? Or do you want her to crave your company so much that she'll do just about anything to spend time with you? It's not going to be an easy transition for you. You have a lot of work to do.

This pill doesn't go down easy. You're going to have to focus on YOU a lot. You're going to be really angry, and that anger is going to last for a while. You'll get over it, and you can come out the other side a much better man.

rediscover03 · 2015-04-09T12:05:03+00:00

Man, you're only 24 so having been 24 a decade ago I can tell you you're going to keep on changing and evolving and maturing. So go with it and recognize you're growing and changing. Don't get chained to the decisions you made as a 20-yr old now. Step back , look at things fresh and change your personality, behavior and whatever you want about your life to better suit you in the present and in the future. The rest is details.

Countpudyoola · 2015-04-09T13:38:59+00:00

You're doing well!

Seems like if you're implementing this early (before 10 years of anger have built up) you tend to skip the anger phase or it's minimal. BUT as a consequence "the guilt of ease" hits them harder?

Keep in mind , you're still being nice. But now there's no subterfuge.

Here's a nuance:

calling at all hours of the day, ~~giving her what she wants~~ giving her what she SAYS she wants , doing things for her,

See , now you're providing her what she actually wants. Isn't that nicer in the long run?

We do ourselves a massive disservice with thinking that managing interactions with others is more complicated that rewarding what we want , and NOT rewarding bad interactions.

where I don't recognize myself anymore

You'll still be you, but a new and improved you with a more realistic world view. And you're weeding out bad habits. Your bad habits might have defined who you were to yourself and others, but you should be actively trying to not see those anymore.

And once it's gone don't mourn the loss. "Nice guys" aren't actually nice. They're sneaks full of covert contracting and ire building.

If her dead fish doesn't spring into life once this moves from a week to months, you may just need to find another fish. It's the benefit of being young and unmarried.

Moldy_Gecko · 2015-04-10T03:59:27+00:00

Don't forget that there is there will be a spot in the transition where she pushes back heavily after realizing you took control. Maintain frame and get through it. If she consists, next.

dandar4600 · 2015-04-09T14:11:00+00:00

It sounds like you have not yet read No More Mr Nice Guy. You know you're on the right path because you already see the change in her. You changing is good. You're changing to become a better man. She will fight you and test you but in the end she will become happier with the new you. Don't be afraid of change. Embrace it.

Title	Starting the transition
Author	temp9089
Upvotes	8
Comments	15
Date	April 9, 2015 1:42 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/31y4cp/starting_the_transition/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/starting-the-transition.202185 https://theredarchive.com/post/202185

Comments