Cheers gentlemen. I’m a new poster and longtime lurker. After reading some of the insightful posts here from men who have commandeered the family finances away from the frivolity of their wives, I've been motivated to enlist the same course of action within my own home. So far my efforts are proving to no avail and I’m continuously hitting the same brick wall. My wife burns through thousands every month on wholly superfluous shit – personal trainer, day spa bullshit, ridiculous shoe fetish, she collects low-brow tacky art (she’s a former punk rock chick with abysmal tastes), etc. She categorically refuses to clean what she purports as her “dream house” and opts to hire the most expensive gold plated maid service instead. She’s so decadent it borders on obscene.

I've approached her countless times about her excesses and she completely stonewalls and is adamant about not needing to justify her spending habits. We've got separate checking accounts and we split our bills, investments and retirement commitments down the line. She makes marginally more than I do, and of course I signed a prenup, so I don’t even get the gratification of divorce raping her if we split. She’s a general surgeon so she’s essentially a glorified general practitioner with a scalpel – i.e. the lowest rung on the surgical specialty hierarchy, but she sure does take a whole lot of stock in her own opinion.

When I told her that I want total oversight over all of our finances she’s dispassionately told me that unless I can quantify any negligence on her part that she feels what I’m asking for is unacceptable. She’s also stated that she’s "always open to re-evaluating our mutual investment strategies and will be amenable to any of my suggestions.” Really, how generous you emasculating idiot.

While I’m demonstrably disgusted and frustrated with my marriage right now, for the sake of a straightforward appraisal of my situation, I do have to disclose that my wife is gorgeous, even keeled, affectionate, high libido, and never really asks much from me. She’s just hell bent on maintaining an egalitarian dynamic between us and I no longer feel that that is an appropriate template for modern relationships. I do believe she needs to be brought under heel despite her countless pseudo-accolades and so far nothing seems to be eliciting the results I’m demanding from her.

I recently introduced the hate fuck into our bedroom repertoire and she generally misconstrues that as us being adventurous and exploratory together. Where other men get a consistently submissive behavioral pattern resulting from this, she’s always sure to let me know just how much she prefers we maintain an “organic friendship on equal footing” outside of the bedroom. She definitively does not get off on Dominance and submission outside of the bedroom. She’s an anomaly and her strongest physical responses always seem to bode with reciprocated respect - i.e. the kind of respect that you would reserve for interactions with other men. It’s very deep seated with her. Lucky me, my wife is evolutionarily defective. Evo psych’s got nothin’ on her.

I don’t see how I can flip the script at this point and I’m becoming so rage fueled there’s nothing rewarding in this union for me anymore. Redpill is the bitterest thing I've ever gotten down, but by god if it doesn't open your mind to how things need to be. Any solid advice that might salvage this wrecked situation would be greatly appreciated.

FYI: We've been married for 5 years and dated for 4 prior to. We have no kids due to complications from my having childhood type I diabetes. I think that childbirth really diminishes a woman’s SMV and my wife never had any kind of equivalency knocking her down a few pegs. She’s only continued to cultivate her SMV and therein may lie the rot.