Wednesday night: hanging out watching tv when wife asks for a favor. She says "please do xyz" and I oblige but I do it my way. She gets mad and says "that was not the assignment! When I ask for xyz it means you do it like [explains her narrow view of how to perform a task]".

"Wait, did you just say assignment? You're giving me assignments?" I asked incredulously, then flipped the script and playfully said "I have an assignment for YOU after dinner." To my amazement this brought her down from her rage cloud and she flirtatiously asked what assignment I had in mind. Told her I'd tell her later.

Later came and when I told her it was time for her assignment she snapped at me. "Well I'm busy! I'm in the middle of reading something!" (It was buzzfeed…). Maybe 10 minutes later she asks what I wanted her to do. This is where I messed up. I was feeling sorry for myself and not really interested in letting her in on my desires so I told her to forget it. She pushed and pushed and pushed until finally I told her I had wanted her to put something sexy on but she didn't need to bother now. She got up and did it and came back looking sexy as hell. She wanted to keep watching tv so we did. 10 minutes later she's asleep and when this woman is asleep she is a zombie. This night was over.

Thursday night: I tell her she still hasn't fulfilled her assignment. She playfully protests but eventually slips into something sexy. She wanted to watch some more TV before getting it on and I make her triple promise to not fall asleep and to alert me at the first sign of drowsiness. Well, she falls asleep. I get her up and she's apologetic. We head to the bed and she--very much drunk with sleepiness--starts saying "so what are you gonna do?" and "hurry and do it so we can go to sleep". I tell her to go to bed and she falls asleep as she tells me I'm awful and how I'm going to hang this over her head...etc.

Friday morning: she slept in her lingerie and when she wakes up she seems to be in an ok mood and we don't need to be anywhere so I make some moves on her. She's not reciprocating but she isn't saying to stop (she has no qualms about shutting me down). I keep going and she's just playing on her phone. Allowing it all but clearly not into it. I disengage and roll back to my spot. Then a moment later I get up to get ready and she flips. "What the hell?! You're getting up? It has to be all or nothing with you doesn't it?" This is a frequent attack. (I'd actually say she's much more of an all-or-nothing person. She'll get mad at me if I miss a minor detail in a pointless story and I laugh as I imagine using her "all or nothing" line back on her.) I tell her I have stuff I want and need to do so in getting up. She huffs and puffs but basically says "fine".

Since then it's been one shit test after another. Period is also about to start so that complicates things.

Basically I'm trying to show that I can pass up sex too and that I'm not going to tolerate pity sex or resentment sex. Then part of me thinks I should've just pounded her into oblivion but I don't know. I think the latter approach would solidify her belief that she's a used and abused woman.

I know you guys will point out a million ways I screwed this up but I'm here for the skewering.