So I've swallowed the pill and I'm working on several things like:

  • Hitting the gym 4 days a week
  • Solid decision-making
  • Career improvements
  • Some subtle dread

I'm seeing some gains here and there but I don't expect to fix 14 years of BP behavior overnight. But on to the sex, our frequency has gone up a notch or two but I'm still getting the dreaded starfish 95% of the time. Not "duty" sex but it's definitely unenthusiastic.

I'm curious what others do and if anyone has found ways to get past this. Should I turn it down? Always or just from time to time? Maybe I should quit in the middle for maximum effect?

Pro Starfish:

  • I know she's getting off at least some of the time and that she enjoys it regardless
  • Keep the habit going
  • Deposit some male hormones and generate oxytocin
  • Beats beating it myself

Turn Her Down:

  • Get point across that this isn't good enough
  • Lets her get horny
  • Get hamster thinking I don't need her

(edit:formatting)