So yes lifting, dieting, making gains and supposedly on DL3-4... much reading done...

Yesterday in bed I was reading up on the local divorce/separation laws, trying to get myself aware and ready if needed, obviously things haven’t been great (why else would I find myself here). She asks me what I’m reading, I figure I’m not gonna lie, so I tell her. She asks why, I tell her cause I wanna know what our status is. She says “I’ll take all your stuff”. I say as cool and calmly as I could muster, “no you won’t” (she won’t in our area as we have no kids and alimony is super rare I’d keep the house etc). She says, “I don’t want your stuff anyways...” I roll over and go to sleep. I figured there’d be some fallout today... but do my best to DGAF.

However, I honestly was completely thrown off today. A buddy and I went for a day trip to check out some local cottage country for the day, hang out, talk manosphere stuff, goals etc...

I got a text message from the wife letting me know she got a new security system today, something way more advanced than what we had but not needed as she never sets the alarm we do have. I figure I’ll ignore the texts and deal when I get home.

I get home a few hours later and the locks are changed to a new smart lock setup etc. She lets me in and says kinda jokingly “I wanted to show you how quickly I could change the locks...” I basically ignore the comment with an “uh... huh...” and put my clothes and shit away.

I’m kinda in a state of shock that she would do this as one of our huge issues right now is her spending more than she makes, racking up CC debt, unpaid taxes... so I know she can’t afford this system. Plus we have a contract with our current monitoring company. Basically it’s her spending my money, modifying the house without letting me know at all.

I ask her to “explain this deal”, it’s a total impulse buy from a door to door sales rep, she signed up and installed it today. I ask her how much, $59/mo. I say I thought we were on a budget and she says “it’s a free trial”. I ask “how long”? She says “10 days”. Me, “really, what’s the point?” She says “I just wanna try it”. In my head the hamster is fukkin racing. I don’t really know what to do, so I STFU go outside start a fire and brood on this to the flames. I figure any reaction is losing frame so I’ll let it go till I can process. Shortly after she comes out to hang by the fire and we pleasantly shoot the shit for a bit, I half assed initiate, she says “no”, I say “ok” and head up to bed.

Also, she started building a living wall while I was gone... something she has talked about in the past. I get the project but after mast night why invest anything into a house she won’t get.

So here I am in bed thinking WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THIS WOMAN?!?

Is she just trying to fuck me up?

How should I deal with this?

I gotta bring it up as it’s crossing the financial boundaries we set and just not something I think should be done without mutual consent.

Seriously the house is in my name, she isn’t even on title. Why add to it when she knows things are rocky...?

For context it’s towards the end of shark week. We spent some time spooning this morning before I left... if we do split she will be financially ruined I’d be fine.