660,952 posts

Killing the ego

by BobbyPeru | March 16, 2018 | askMRP

32 upvotes

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Over the years, I've learned the difference between being judgmental and being observant. Sometimes, this is a fine line. One thing I have observed on MRP is new guys often think it's a "race" to become alpha, and a little bit of progress can be easily mistaken as a total transformation. This is the ego

After a lifetime of being lied to by the media, friends, family members, and your own mother, unplugging from the matrix is no easy task. In fact, many of the people that have lied to you are simultaneously lying to their self. So, the line between truth. lies, reality, fantasy, and wishful thinking can become blurred. MRP can often make things more muddy before the clean-up starts It's kind of like cleaning out a garage - it will look more messy than ever before the real progress is revealed.

One of the biggest issues is ego . All too often, we either see a newer guy come on here posting about a situation he needs to fix right now, but in reality, if we provide solutions, they are band-aids, and they generally will not help the new guy's progress.

These type posts start with tell-tale signs of the markings of ego. For example, when I see a guy start off with 'I've always been alpha, but blah blah blah'... or I'm probably a 9 SMV (snd then gives no details about lifts, height, and weight - yes, all three are required for a reasonable analysis)... or 'wife is shit testing me about folding the socks,'... or 'wife gave me a hard no, but I didn't show any butthurt.'... etc... the problem is usually the ego is in the way of the beginning of progress

Progress begins when the new guy has finished all of the sidebar readings and is starting over.

Progress begins when the new guy can honestly post all physical stats Height, weight, and lifts .

Progress starts when the new guy doesn't lace his post with pats on the back or please tell me I'm a pussy pleadings.

Progress begins when the new guy realizes he's been brainwashed and is still brainwashed , and he wants to do the work to deprogram.

Progress begins when the new guy realizes there are guys on this board who have put in a ton of effort, way beyond what he has put in, and he is willing to listen to feedback, no matter how much it stings.

Progress begins when you hit your first lifting plateau after adding 5 pounds a week on all lifts for many months straight.

Progress begins when the new guy has cleaned up his diet, is under 15% BF, and has the stats to back it up.

Progress begins when the new guy realizes he is a pussy with no frame , and he becomes willing to STFU and lift , and then gradually add A&A, AM, fogging and other frame builders.

Progress begins when the new guy has internalized frame and no longer is faking frame, which his LTR will see right through and break easily anyway.

Progress begins with all of these acts , thoughts, and behaviors of humility.

Progress begins when the new guy can admit he has a long hard road ahead, and he starts to become comfortable with small but valuable strides of progress.

Progress begins when a new guy can come on here, present objective facts, and not lace it with implications of the grand ole alpha days, the great resent victories on who should fold the socks, and not present us with paragraphs of he said/she said dialog. You will not find progress within the mundane details of every day BS conversations between you and your LTR

Progress begins when your LTR isn't giving you hard no's anymore, and you realize that your sexual strategy is a combination of things in this post, and it is working

Progress begins when the stay plan becomes the same as the go plan

Progress beings with killing the ego because then the new guy can tear down the sand castle he has built and build a solid rock fortress**

The enemy is not women

The enemy is not your LTR

The enemy is not the media and the brainwashing you received

The enemy is your ego.

Kill the enemy


Post Information
Title Killing the ego
Author BobbyPeru
Upvotes 32
Comments 12
Date 16 March 2018 07:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204718
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/84tpyc/killing_the_ego/
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Comments

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post Bobby, upvoted both.

I came to the same conclusion around the 6 month mark but don’t have the ability to articulate nearly as well as you just have.

This is the type of post the new guys need to see.

[–]Reject4443 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post is a great reminder for all of us to stay on track. I think that one of the hardest challenges for those still in the early stages of unplugging and improving themselves (or at least just for me) is that there are simultaneously SO many things that require work and improvement, and also SO MUCH new information to learn and digest. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and lost.

That, I think, is why there is such a desire to go Rambo or to celebrate the win about "who should fold the socks," because when you're starting out it sometimes feels like you're just trudging forward alone in the middle of a huge desert somewhere, with only a "Survival Guidebook" (but no actual map) that basically tells you to keep walking forward, don't expend too much energy by going too fast, and pay attention to the heat from the sun to keep yourself safe. You become so desperate for any kind of landmark or signpost that when you feel like you may see one it becomes a HUGE deal. It's as though you're walking forward day by day--you KNOW this is the right way to go and the Guidebook's strategy makes sense, but when all you see for days is endless sand it's easy to let frustration and doubt creep in--but then one day you finally see a sign in the sand that says "Civilization, This Way Ahead" and you can push all of that doubt, frustration, and fear away. As a practical matter, the sign means nothing; you're still the same distance away from your goal as you would be without it, and the sign doesn't get you any closer, but that mental reaffirmation that you KNOW you're going the right way becomes a point of obsession, and now you're constantly looking forward to the next sign. You know you're not where you want to be yet, and you may even have 900 miles to go, but you can now be certain that all of your trudging through the sand WILL get you there if you just keep walking long enough.

But it's crucial that you pace yourself--the guys who lose it are the ones who think they know best, see that first sign and start sprinting forward toward the goal, as if the sign's presence means a vast metropolis is just over the next sand dune. These guys will run out of energy and/or get themselves killed way before they get there. MRP (aka the Guidebook) is the ultimate example of "it's a marathon, not a sprint." The only way you have a chance is to keep walking forward, making slow progress, shielding yourself from the sun when the day is hottest.

[–]Change_or_Death3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I needed this thanks. Had going Rambo thoughts all day, just wanted to end it tonight.

But that is not best for me or my daughter. Will STFU and work on my MAP tonight.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why wait until tonight?

Become the MAP now - in the present.

Everything that happens is in the Present , never the past nor the future.

[–]Change_or_Death0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

As I understand it the MAP is a practical plan to tie together all the ideas of MRP into something that will work to improve yourself.

A action plan if you will. Maybe there is a different meaning that I am missing that you are referring to.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly right. So start improving now.

Start being more assertive at work, don’t let assholes push you around, speak up, be on top of your work, run some day game during lunch time out and about, work on your personality, 3 month plan, 6 month plan, etc

My blue pill days were cringe worthy. At work, if I was walking down the hallway and someone else was walking towards me, not only did I look down and away like a submissive little pussy ass bitch, but I also hugged the wall letting them pass- even though there was more than enough room for both of us to pass each other.

Not now though because my shoulders are too wide.

I was a beta faggot who let his wife totally beta shame me into oblivion. I walked around basically apologizing for my existence.

That was my MAP to fix. That’s what I’m talking about. Let this new way of living and manly mindset build momentum as you get home from work and GAME the fuck out of your wife.

[–]Trtntrenbrah1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff.

Mentioned this elsewhere but ...

An overall refusal to desire and grow, causing you to live below your potential.....self sabotaging or self denial being the culprit.

[–]Senor_Martillo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well said.

[–]amalgamator1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dr. David Schnarch uses some red pill theory under a different name in his philosophy. He calls his therapy “crucible” therapy because it pressures the relationship and refines and improves the man and wife. Typically it will either fix or blow up the marriage. Similar to the thinking “you will have a great life/sex - it just might not be with this woman”

Red Pill is a crucible for the relationship.

[–]niceguycoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is it really possible or desirable to kill the ego? Calling the ego the enemy is also a (negative) judgement in and of itself. If we are going to practice non-judgement, wouldn't it be more useful to observe the ego and not follow its lead? I assert that the ego shouldn't be the captain of the ship, but instead the beloved and single-minded sea dog that gets a fish every now and then to keep him happy.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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