Not sure how to handle this?

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July 11, 2017

I'm new, about 3 months into the sidebar. Wife is usually receptive to my initiations, lots of starfish though. We have sex about 2 times a week. I have a ways to go.

Sometimes when I initiate my wife will say she wants to have sex but needs a few minutes to do something, respond to a work email or something first. She'll then just blow me off, an hour goes by, she pretends like she never said anything.

I don't want to seem angry about it and I don't want to re-initiate after she obviously blows me off, so I just forget about it. I'm assuming this is not a shit test and I'm just not attractive enough.

Should I even address the behavior? How would you guys handle this?

Post Information
Title Not sure how to handle this?
Author uma5674
Upvotes 7
Comments 16
Date 11 July 2017 10:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
shit test

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's a shit test alright. Are you man enough to follow through and take what you want? I think she's practically asking you to just get in there and take it. Push past the soft no. You don't have to be disrespectful about it, you should keep it fun.

Option 1 is to give her the time she needs, then pounce on her with a "times up!"...pick her up and throw her on the bed.

Option 2 is to not give her the time she asks for, and instead reply with a "oh you're getting busy alright" as you start stripping her down.

You may get a hard no during either of these 2 options, in which case you just move on to the next thing like you DGAF.

[–]OwningMOS4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree. Take her to bed or force the hard no so you can get on with your day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It helps me when I always have a next thing in mind. I say to myself, if she gives a hard no I will go do X.

mow the lawn, go to the gym, minor home repairs (which usually gets me out of the house with a trip to the hardware store), etc.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Iron rule #3

In MRP this correlates to do not let her schedule sex. It's not a shit test, it's a measure of her lack of attraction. Yeah sometimes shit is busy, and the moods not set, but in this case she is regularly blowing you off.

Like pavlov's dog and the dinging bell she's got you conditioned. You initiate, she gives you the "Oh I just need to do xyz". Then no sex. She's thinking "Well he didn't try again so that's one less thing I have to do"

Remember, women communicate covertly. Instead of saying "I don't want to fuck you" she says, "I've got shit to do" because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and disrupt the social structure.

First step, be attractive.

Second step, don't be unattractive.

It's very simple, but the path is long and hard. Hit the gym, don't do beta shit, be a leader, learn how to game your wife; these are all things that help step 1 and 2.

[–]Tebulus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation.

Thems the breaks OP, read the article. I think UEMcGill is spot on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's treating it like an unspontaneous task or chore, because your initiation is probably either the same old same old that you always do (hence it's uninspiring, so she's going to prioritize it with the rest of her to-do list) or it's lacking in some other way.

If you're wanting or expecting more, you're going to have to put in the effort to inspire it.

ie. If you're coming in hot and heavy and she throws some cold water on it, you're either not as hot and heavy as you think or it's time to ignore and push past the lmr.

[–]nooomaam0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Think ahead, my friend. Let's say you'd like to get laid. Have you owned your shit? Does she have anything to do except be ravished?

Be pre-meditated about this, and you'll have outcome independence. THat will give you the confidence to deal with the shit test.

The scenario goes like this: I'd like to fuck my wife. Hmmmm.... what will stop me from doing that? Kids? Distractions? Her thinking she has obligations? Do I look good / smell good / taken care of shit, so she doesn't feel like she has to be in charge?

These questions usually let me come up with a list of shit I need to do, to make sure I'm in the clear. THen, I fucking take care of it. You don't ask her permission, you just take care of it.

Now, put on a movie or make those kids some food, and then get in there and put her face in the pillow.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get what you are saying, but be careful not to fall into a trap where suddenly you are now responsible for doing a bunch of shit in order to get sex. Inherently that is indicating that ALL of those things are higher priority than sex. IMO I don't like to entertain too much negotiation about why now isn't a good time. Of course things like kids need to be in bed first are reasonable. I can fuck with dirty dishes in the sink, they'll be there when we're done.

[–]straius1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's not OI, it is a tool to try and safeguard against rejection.

Just initiate and be present and into it.

If you get a hard no, move on to something else you will enjoy doing.

Eventually your progress will do it's own work on having successful initiations.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're goddamn right she remembers. In business they say the easiest way to get somebody to leave you alone is to say yes, but not follow through. Salesman are taught to execute on the yes.

I suggest you take her "yes" as fact, act as if you fully expect her to be legit, then start actively doing something to "get ready". This way you aren't sitting there like a puppy waiting to go on a walk. For example, "Great idea, get that email sent! I've been thinking about doing XXX with you all day, we're gonna need some towels." Then proceed to get some shit together for the "event", towels, water, sex toys, whatever, just be busy while she is supposedly getting her thing done. This way you are on the same "team" working towards the goal. IF she tries to resist after that email is sent, then get more aggressive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you lifting? If not forget about the sidebar and go to the gym. The sex will come back really fast when you start hitting the gym and falling in love with the idea of a new you. In the interim you need some moves maybe, are you kissing her passionately? Do you slap her ass and treat her like a sexy woman?

[–]nooomaam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Excellent context here. You're not doing it for a reward. It's planning, premeditation, and removing obstacles from your path to the land of the split plains.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I used to get this shit test when I was about 9 months in. At first, it took me back, and I failed the shit tests by whining about her "stalling."

Later, I just took a DNGAF attitude, and would do stuff myself and still initiate after a bit. She pretty much stopped doing it after a few times.

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What's your height, weight, age, and estimated bodyfat? Hers?

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thrust your bayonet untill you get a hard no, treat anything up to a hard no as LMR.

[–]nantucketghost0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her she'll have time when you're both done and finished...

If she does go off, tell her 5 minutes but come back with something sexy on. (don't ask, tell).

If she takes too long for your liking, just go grab her and carry her to the bed or couch or wherever. Or walk over to her kiss the back of her neck and start taking her clothes off.

Don't wait for her. Go get what you want.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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