In the spirit of some of my early posts (which were requests to anaylize the most recent retarded encounter between my wife and I), I thought I would do another. To analyze a particular annoying and difficult interaction this afternoon. I learned so much from those early posts, time to keep learning.
I left work a little early to come home and take my two oldest kids (4 and 6) on an "adventure". I did this a good bit back in the fall before the time changed, but haven't done it in a while. Its my time to spend with them. Daddy stuff. Usually just code for go to the park, then grab some food after. The kids love it, its a break for the wife (from them at least, still at home with 9 mo old). I've taken the baby on a few of these, but it just isn't the same, and everybody knows. Time and place for me to watch the baby, the "adventures" aren't one of them.
I get home early and let my wife know this is whats happening. As I mentioned in some previous posts, she is particularly perturbed lately about my taking ownership over my life and doing what I want. Of course, I take her into account. If she has a valid reason for why doing this, or that, is not a good idea - it is heard and heeded. But if the reason is basically reasons, I no longer give a shit and I just do it. She has really fought back against this, and this encounter is an example of it.
She says, "No, you can't go." I ask why and she gives reasons (the baby is still sleeping, you don't just get to do whatever you want, etc). Ok fine, I'll wait til the baby wakes up (at any moment because nap time is over), but we're going. See you in a while.
Her: "Fine... I am going for a run." (defacto leaving me home with the baby in an attempt to thwart my plan)
Me: STFU (I'll just take the baby and deal. I can't control her. It won't be the same but we'll make the best of it)
Baby wakes up and I'm preparing everything to leave, even made food for the baby. Going to own my shit and enjoy my children, all I can control.
As we are getting in the car she walks up (did not go for a run, just stood in the driveway).
Her: "I'm coming with you guys"
This forces me here to say, in front of the children, that I was looking forward to some time by myself with them, so I'd rather her not come. This is where I fucked up, I shouldn't have said anything I guess. I don't know what I should have done, but saying that in front of the kids was lame, even thought it was the truth.
Me: "No, you are not coming. I am going to spend some time with just the kids. We'll be home in a while".
Her: "No, I AM GOING".
I really didn't know what else to do. She came and I made the best of it. In the past, somewhere along the way I would have folded and not gone. Too afraid of upsetting her and felt like a step away from a positive relationship with her. I'm no longer scared of her, and I'm apparently just an asshole all the time no matter what I do, so I'm going to do what I want to do. But these power plays and her trying to stand in my way just because she doesn't like it, is getting annoying and I don't know what the next step is.
How would you guys have handled a situation like this because they are becoming common in my fucked up household.
--- And before you say it, no I'm not getting divorced right now. Because reasons.