Owning my finances - Am I on the right track?

I took the red pill about 2.5 months ago. I've been married for 18 years, low sex for the first ten years, no sex for the last 8. My wife has been sleeping on the couch for the past 3 years. I've been reluctant to post, because I've been embarrassed that my 18 year marriage may be seen as the ultimate blue-pill fuck-up.

I have done much of the sidebar reading, have been lifting consistently​ for 2 months, and doing repairs to our home that are long overdue. I've also been going out without letting my wife know where I'm going (which she hates). I've bought a new wardrobe and have a fashionable haircut for the first time in 20 years.

My wife has been a SAHM since we got married, and has had complete access to all of the my income for close to a decade. We have not been saving enough for retirement and have been overspending for years which I now understand is entirely due to my leadership (or lack thereof).

At the end of February, I had a look at how we were spending money, and discovered our monthly grocery bill was $2800 for a family of four (2 teenagers) (thanks Whole Foods, organics, and ethical meat). I told my wife that that was way too much for groceries, which she agreed with.

Our grocery spending went down slightly in March, but was back on pace for $2800 by mid-April. At that point, I set up my own account and began directing my pay there, and began working on a family budget. I presented the family budget to my wife, along with my vision for our future together. How these changes would allow me to retire at 65 (13 years from now) and for us to take some nice vacations.

Not surprisingly, my wife didn't like the budget. I held frame and was stoic. I asked her if she would like to come up with a budget. She thought about it for a day, but declined. I also pointed out that if the family income increased (by my wife getting a job), that we'd have more money to spend.

One of the most contentious issues with the budget is that I have removed alcohol from the budget. I've been sober for 22 years. My wife didn't drink for the first 16 years of our marriage, but started again a couple of years ago. She's now spending about $2000 per year on wine. I told her that she can drink wine if she wants, she just needs to buy it with her own money.

I'm giving my wife $400 per week for food now. She went a couple of days without wine, but bought a bottle on the weekend. I told her that was unacceptable and I'd be taking $20 out of the grocery budget every time she did that.

My wife stayed calm (something​ she's learned to do over the past month), but suggested perhaps we shouldn't live together anymore. I went back to offering her budget options, spend within our means, or contribute to the family income so that we can increase the budget. I then went out.

I spoke with a RP friend, and decided not to speak to my wife for a day or two. She has had no consequences for any of her behaviour for a long time. I'm a night and morning in to this. Her hamster is running.

Looking for feedback. I know owning the finances is important. Am I on the right track?

Edit 1:

A couple of points of clarification. Amounts discussed are Canadian dollars. $2800 is still a shit load for groceries. I didn't speak to my wife for a total of 15 hours, 20 minutes of which we were together for, 5 minutes last night and 15 minutes this morning.

My wife called me at work this afternoon. I can't remember the last time she called me to talk about something other than our kids.

I took her call and told her that I had a couple of minutes for a brief conversation and that we would talk when I get home. She then stated that she didn't want to fight with me, acknowledged that she's been drinking too much and intends to change that, but that she doesn't want me trying to control her drinking. I told her that I want to sit down with her and come up with a budget that works for our family and that I had gone too far in completely removing alcohol from the budget.

I intend to tell her that I was angry that she suggested divorce as an option while discussing the budget. I needed time to think about what she'd said and wasn't ready to talk to her. Then we can get to work on our family budget.