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Need your advice on emotionally cheating wife.

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April 5, 2017
12 upvotes

Need some advice. (TLDR @ bottom)

Married 10+ years, lots of good times, very few major arguments. Lots of bickering over small things and nit picking. She dated lots of "bad boys," so her family was super excited when we got together. I think it worked because I was a mix of mostly "nice guy" with ambitions, and just enough "bad boy" to be palatable for her. She knew she would have a pretty comfortable life. I was never an Alpha, but definitely had a lot more qualities before marriage. Ended up slowly going beta over the next few years.

Sex life:

Typical sex life story... great before marriage, slowed down shortly after tying the knot, then took a big dive after our first kid. "I don't feel sexy anymore." Figured it was par for the married life course. Spent the whole time doing the BP thing and trying to guilt her into sex because we were married and it was her duty. So of course I got drip sex when I pouted enough. Like everyone here, I wish I had found out about the RP concept long ago.

Red Pill:

Started down the path about a year ago. Followed all the guidelines, started feeling great about myself, and stopped trying to please her. She flipped out. Couldn't handle the change. Actually used the words "This is not who I married, I married a nice guy." Kept plugging along and doing my thing. After she got over the initial shock, I started to notice results about a month into it. Much better sex life, less bitching, started doing nice things for me, and buying me stuff. It was always the other way around. Crazy how well it works.

Finances:

Started a new business a couple years ago, and due to getting it up and running, I work a lot more and make about 20% less. This has caused a lot of stress on us both. I'm not happy about it, but know it will be much better in the long run. She's talked about not being happy for a while, but only recently started bringing up the possibility of splitting up. She finally showed her cards and implied that she "can't live like this AND not have any money." Basically her comfortable life was no longer as comfortable so she is ready to jet. I was pissed!

Therapy:

She started seeing a therapist a couple weeks ago. It was long overdue, even if only for several stressful events (outside of our relationship) over the last few years. Since then she's been more open with me. Finally came out to me that she doesn't think we have, or have ever really had sexual chemistry. Not that we haven't had a good sex life, because she says I can always make her orgasm, but basically she's had better sex with one (or probably several) of her previous 11 partners). It was huge blow to my ego. Then I was more upset that she's waited all these years to tell me. Not giving me chance to work on things, but instead having lots of obligation sex with me.

Suspected of Cheating:

I have always trusted her. Don't look through her stuff, don't care when I go out of town, or if she goes out dancing with her girlfriends. Really trusted her completely, and always lived by the fact that it wasn't worth the mental energy as long as nothing was super obvious. Then out of the blue, 2 months ago, I asked to look at something she was talking about on her phone, and she hesitated, did something else on it, then gave it to me. Wasn't a big deal, but gave me a strange vibe. I dismissed it, and made a point to not go snooping, because that's not me. Then I started to notice her being more and more weird about her phone. She never used to care where it was, now all the sudden she was on it all the time, and would literally take it in and set it on the edge of the tub when she showered. Major red flags. So I started to find excuses to need to use her phone for something, just to see how she re-acted. She would get weird, and then start talking a lot more and being overly happy. Finally over the weekend, I used her phone to call someone, and the last txt was from her personal trainer. When I opened it, there were only 3 txts from that day. I was sick. Got on Verizon and pulled up her txt records. There actually hadn't been any txts to or from him in a couple weeks. Didn't want to ruin the weekend since we had lots planned with friend, so I waited until Sunday night. Confronted her without being an ass in case there was some explanation. Esentially: "I've never had doubts about you being faithful, and I'm mad that I've been worried lately, looked at your phone and there was only 3 txts from Douchebag Trainer. Why are you deleting txts from him?" She says she deletes txts to "clean up" her inbox. Told her that there were lots of other txts that she hadn't deleted, so that didn't make sense. She said it had been a while since she had deleted stuff. Point blank asked her if they were sending anything inappropriate, txts or pics. She said no. Because I had already looked at her txt records, and it had been a couple weeks since they had sent anything back and forth, I thought that could have been feasible. If something was up, I figured there would be a steady flow of txt history. I didn't have any proof, and if I pushed it anymore I thought it would make me look bad for doubting her if she was actually being honest.

Confessed To Cheating:

She saw her therapist 2 days later, and said she needs to get something off her chest. "I lied to you the other day, I have been sending stuff to Douchebag Trainer. I have feelings for him. We haven't done anything sexual but we have talked about it." Basically they've been "dating" via txt over the last 3 months. Talking about their day, telling him looked hot after their work out, at some point sending half naked (she says not fully naked) pics to each other, and the thought of hooking up. Because I know her schedule, and he's married with kids, I do believe her on them not hooking up. She takes care of our kids all the time, so it would have been nearly impossible for it to have happened. She said she couldn't take it anymore, and told him that they couldn't keep doing this, about 2 weeks ago. Txt history does back that up.

Need Your Advice:

Am I crazy for thinking she is genuine in wanting to work on our relationship?

How should I treat her or act around her?

I'm pretty sure I have the ability, using Verizon Messenger app, to see all of her deleted txts. Is that a bad idea, or am I just going to make myself more sick?

TLDR: Wife of 10+ years married me because I was a stable option with a future. We've had lots of good times, but it's been kind rough the last 5 years. She's been talking about the possibility of splitting up. Just told me that we don't have "sexual chemestry," and that my not making more money is making things a lot worse in our relationship. Have been trying to reconnect and get our marriage back on track, and she started seeing a therapist. Then told me she has feelings for her trainer, and they have had a txt (not physical) relationship over the last few months, but she called it off 2 weeks ago. -- What do I do?

Update 4/6/17 (2am)

Fuuuuuuuuuck! Everyone was right. They were fucking. Didn't get to see all of their texts, but enough to know she's lying. Probably worked out for the best with my OCD traits. Can't believe how stupid I was. Easy to fall for the crying, "I'm so sorry," bullshit. I believe that she was sorry, because she's realized that she fucked up. Then knew that if she told me they were fucking, it wouldn't be able to recover.

So, since this is MRP, and not RP... I have 2 small kids. Should I not try to continue being a bettter me, and see if we can work it out? We really do have a pretty good family life, despite our currently fucked up relationship. I'm pissed, just don't want to make a hasty decision that will forever change my kids lives.

In light of the new information, and because I am hearing a resounding DIVORCE HER... I am going to talk to a lawyer, and get my ducks in a row. However, if I do decide to see how things go over the next few weeks, any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated.

I'm telling her in the morning, that she needs to put in her 2 week notice @ work (the gym were everything happened). In the beginning, I thought, sshe's an adult, I'm not going to tell her what to do. If she wants to stay there and be tempted by him, then so be it. If there is any hope of salvaging this, she needs to get a new job.

Also, should I tell his wife, or is that not worth the additional drama? Noticed Athol Kay, reccommends tell the other spouse.


Post Information
Title Need your advice on emotionally cheating wife.
Author SUP2012
Upvotes 12
Comments 46
Date 05 April 2017 07:03 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206314
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/63nnfi/need_your_advice_on_emotionally_cheating_wife/
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Comments

[–]The_LitzRed Beret15 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy

Whether the pics were nude or semi-nude is irrelevant. Whether they hooked up or almost hooked up is irrelevant. What you have here is someone that is actively trying to get out of her marriage.

The actual actions don't matter, her motivation behind her actions are your problem.

At this stage she is backtracking because she realised Chad is only in it for fun and she will only branchswing if she is certain she can swing successfully.

On some level you are still trying to make excuses for her by recreating a best case scenario in your mind.

Be honest with yourself, would you tolerate this from a girl on your second date?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well, it's not cheating, it was only talking.

Well, they were actually texting, but it was only text, so it's not cheating

Well, they were actually sending pictures, but it was only clothes, so it's not cheating

Well, they were actually semi nude, but no nip, so it's not cheating

Well, they were actually nip, but it wasn't IRL, so it's not cheating

Well, they there was that conference, but it wasn't intimate, so it's not cheating

Well, it was just a business dinner, but it wasn't making out or anything, so it's not cheating

Well, they were making out, but it wasn't sex, so it's not cheating

Well, I never SAW them having sex, so it's not cheating.

Best advice I've seen in here, assume it crossed whatever line you want to bullshit yourself into shifting around... Then your choice becomes clear, or your fear of it

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reminds me of the Eminem lyric from "Guilty Conscious"

What she tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This might be the best definition of trickle truth I have ever read.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

You left out the clearest evidence of all: If she was really ending it with Chad, then there would be no reason for her to tell OP about it. She wants him to end it for her.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

True, the only other reason could be the therapist urging her to 'come clean', but you are right, if it was a clean break she could hide it forever because OP believed her when he confronted her.

[–]SUP2012[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I'm starting to realize that's probaby what's going on.

[–]SUP2012[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right, and now it's confirmed after more digging.

[–]izual1914 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

My wife admitted when I confronted her that she was having an inappropriate relationship via text messenger. We went to therapy for months and eventually I forgave her.

After I forgave her I found out she had relationships with 3 other guys she didn't admit too. Basically wasted 6 months of my life on bullshit. Wished i had left her.

[–]SUP2012[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That sucks. I'm starting to realize just how far she's willing to go in order to cover things up. I was thinking he was the only one 5 hours ago, now I'm strarting to wonder if it's happened before.

[–]drty_prRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your post yesterday is quite relevant OP.

[–]ParadoxThatDrivesUs7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Forget about her, what do you want?

[–]Aaren_Augustine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. This is an excellent opportunity. Wife goggles pulled off and crushed. Whole new world. Why we gotta try and save the old world? Never was real to begin with

[–]SUP2012[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I really want my kids to have a good life. Maybe the best life is with us split up. Just really hard when I imagine telling my little boy. If there is no hope, there is no hope. I guess I'm being too optimistic at this point.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The options are not good. They never are. Either your son has parents who are split up and have 50/50 custody, or your son has an "intact family" with a dad who accepts being cucked.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

came out to me that she doesn't think we have, or have ever really had sexual chemistry.

Or ILYBINILWY....

We haven't done anything sexual but we have talked about it." Basically they've been "dating

Lucky you Athol Kay covers this situation. The first rule is....CUT ALL CONTACT WITH THE AFFAIR PARTNER. There is no second rule. There are no second chances. She had an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR. Full...Stop.

She takes care of our kids all the time, so it would have been nearly impossible for it to have happened.

You are an idiot, delusional, in denial, or all three.

Am I crazy for thinking she is genuine in wanting to work on our relationship?

No, but you have to let go.

I have the ability, using Verizon Messenger app, to see all of her deleted txts.

Go ahead but you might not like what you find. AT A MINIMUM it is FULL AND OPEN SOCIAL MEDIA from now until the Divorce is filed.

How should I treat her or act around her?

You are the man. She is your woman until she dies. Or until you find somebody better. Or until you decide to replace her.

[–]SUP2012[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for taking the time to reply. Your book was actually what has helped me the most over the last year. The forum is great, but I needed it spelled out from start to finish. Now with new information (they were in fact fucking)... now I know I am an idiot, and probably was in denial. Wanted to believe her. A hard pill to swallow.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

they were in fact fucking

Way to bury the lead. New Information. What the fuck? I think that was predicted. Doesn't change my advice above. Is it possible you took Dread Game to far? If you are not getting sex it works. If you are it can drive them away. That is the whole point of Dread game in case you missed it- to create distance so passion can bloom. That and the whole secret arousal trigger in women. Then when you go DNGAF it gives her an excuse to cheat.

[–]All_Ads_Deceive6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Why does your wife have a male personal trainer? Wtf you're basically paying Chad to fuck your wife

[–]SUP2012[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I know, I'm an idiot. I used to take pride in trusting people to the fullest. People suck.

[–]weakandsensitive4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

suckers get exploited. how are you gonna blame people when you were the fucking retard? like i said in my comment, i could stop reading and predict how your shit went down from the second sentence in your post. you married a slut and were surprised when she turned out to be a slut.

all women have the propensity to become a slut - some (due to upbring + other factors) might have more of an aversion or higher threshold. you, on the other hand, actually started marrying a slut and playing captain save-a-hoe. no idea why you're surprised.

own your shit faggot.

also - i bet there's no way you could go out an pick up fresh pussy tonight - because i bet there's no way any woman finds you attractive outright.

[–]All_Ads_Deceive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's time to take pride in not being a cuck. Divorce this cheating whore

[–]beta_no_mo9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been there, homie.

Real talk: she's already fucked the dude multiple times, but he doesn't have the provider qualities to make walking away worth her while. So, she's back on you until that changes. It's only a matter of time.

Your marriage as you knew/know it is over. Now you just need to decide if it ends now on your terms or later on hers.

You know what to do.

[–]SUP2012[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is spot on! Hate that it's so accurate, but I think it's exactly what's happening. She realized they weren't going anywhere. He's a d-bag trainer, that's not going to give her a financial step up, despite them having "sexual chemistry."

[–]drSiAl97826 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Been here. The true litmus test for whether she is serious about wanting to work on your relationship is to ignore everything she says concerning this and simply watch her actions. Make sure they 100% match up. Either way, you will have your answer about how genuine she actually is.

[–]SUP2012[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. I think even with my new discovery, that I'm going to hold these cards and just see how she acts over the next few days, with new demands, and less access to credit/debit cards.

[–]drSiAl97821 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now that you see her for who/what she really is, I think you will start having some startling revelations. I know I did when I went through something similar....like I can't even believe who/what my STBXW is. My advice (what I did) is to cut her off cold and hard, emotionally and financially as much as you can. But then put on your armor get ready for her to try and suck you back in. This is where you will be able to see her true colors, with what she says and what she does. I'm so sorry that you are going thorough this. But I think you will discover after some time that you will be so much better off without her. No one deserves to be treated this way.

[–]mabden4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I believe that she was sorry, because she's realized that she fucked up.

Do not confuse being sorry for remorse. Check out The Chump Lady - Real vs Imitation Remorse for the difference. Bottom line without true remorse on her part, there is no way to reconcile the marriage.

should I tell his wife

Yep, she deserves to know what a piece of shit she is married to.

she needs to get a new job

Yep, no contact with the affair partner is number one. Also an indicator of remorse.

I'm pissed, just don't want to make a hasty decision that will forever change my kids lives.

Yep your wife's betrayal is a game changer and you will be on an emotional roller coaster for a while. There is no need to make any decisions until you can do so with a clear head. Plus you do not know your wife's true intentions (remorse) at this point either.

Best advice is focus on yourself and your kids, continue your self improvement, eat well, exercise, sleep well and get yourself a lawyer and start the process of divorce so you know what it looks like for you personally and financially. The process can be stopped easier than started, so if your wife backslides on you or you decide you can't live with a cheater anymore, then the divorce already in progress, can proceed.

The Healing Heart - The 180 is a good outline for detaching from your wife.

It all sucks, but at this point all you can do is man up for yourself and your kids.

[–]GC0W30Fat, needs discipline2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This probably ends in divorce.

Document everything you can. Get an initial consult with a lawyer to see what you can, and cannot, legally do to protect your assets, your children, and your access to your children in case you cannot avoid divorce.

The earlier you know what to do, the easier it is to protect yourself and those important to you.

[–]zeteomegaleio3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Go look at the texts and see what she is doing for other guys. You might find she lied more by not confessing everything, and at this point if she wants to work anything out then she loses the right to privacy.

Not to say this is an automatic divorce. Your money situation is not good. You have kids. People stay together over a lot worse.

I'm not suggesting that you come at it from a scarcity mentality specifically regarding other women, and it sounds like she doesn't really want to work things out either. Just that I respect there are other factors in life that affect this decision.

Still, it sounds like she is trying to force you into making the decision to divorce. The good news is, this is now about what YOU want. Forget her opinion on the matter.

Oh, and whether you stay or go, you'll never be able to trust anyone like that ever again.

[–]SUP2012[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you. It would have been much easier if this had happened 7 years ago. Yeah, the trust being crushed really bothers me. I hate worrying about someone. Feels like such wasted energy.

[–]zeteomegaleio4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The good news is that trust evolves away from trusting in other people to trusting yourself.

As for your update, I'll reiterate what someone else said about reading Chump Lady's post on real vs. imitation remorse. Real remorse is being fully open and honest about everything. Real remorse is agreeing to give up all privacy. Real remorse is her doing whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to try to restore the relationship even without any guarantees it will work.

With that said, be very honest with yourself about what your wife is actually doing. Don't kid yourself about her true actions just because you might want it to work. What she says for a long while is not worth a damn thing. Watch her actions.

The truth is, you have to be seriously mentally/emotionally evolved to get to the point where a relationship can be not only restored, but better after the cheating. Most people are not that self-aware, and finding two people who are that self-aware and choose to try to overcome it is exceedingly rare. It's a miserable journey. Most either split or stay together in a horrible relationship that only further devolves.

I don't know you or your wife, but it doesn't sound like she is the kind of person willing to go through that kind of hell for you to restore the relationship and make it better based on her previous actions. She sounds unhappy and fucked a guy who she later realized she could not branch swing to.

People CAN change, especially in moments like these after they realize how badly they fucked up, but that isn't assured.

I'd be moving forward with divorce unless you can seriously, legitimately say she is a completely different person filled with nothing but sorrow and remorse. If she has any issue with losing her privacy, cutting off contact, etc. then she is not interested in doing what it takes to unfuck herself and what she did to your relationship. Any hesitation is a red flag. Even then, if she does totally change, you still might not be able to move past it.

And to add on to that later part, don't make a decision right now. You are likely wanting to fix the relationship during a "hysterical bonding" phase. When that wears off, you are going to feel anger like you've never felt before. Do NOT physically assault her when that time comes - seriously.

As for the kids, if you guys can't repair your marriage to where it is a model example of a relationship, then they are better off with you guys divorced. Otherwise you are just teaching them the wrong things and setting them up to repeat your mistakes.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She dated lots of "bad boys," so her family was super excited when we got together.

Pretty sure that's the fastest I've ever felt the need to stop reading a post. I can't see a way where this post doesn't end as predictably as possible.

Edit:

txts from Douchebag Trainer

lol.

and pretty much exactly as expected.

Guy marries a low quality woman and is surprised when she turns out to be a low quality woman. I bet you've never even had your kids paternity tested. I'd start there.

Also, should I tell his wife, or is that not worth the additional drama? Noticed Athol Kay, reccommends tell the other spouse.

I would. Don't see a downside tbh. Throw that wrench in the cogs and watch her affair partner drop her like a sack of dirt. Reinforce the idea that all she is is a cheap, easy hoe. And hey - if the affair partner commits to your cheating wife, good for them!

[–]LaLongCarabine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/24/please-breakup-with-me/

FWIW this is the blog post that introduced me to TRP. AWALT.

[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

She left the bread crumbs and then she started telling you in female language.

You have to determine what she is telling you. Reading the sidebar would help you with that.

So, you trusted but never verified. It's time to verify. But, make sure you are emotionally and mentally ready.

[–]SUP2012[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean by verify? Are you talking about her txt history?

[–]jml1911a10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes.

[–]RBuddDwyerRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

her previous 11 partners

You do know you are supposed to triple that number, right?

Anyway, it's pretty clear she is an Alpha Widow, and she settled for you. The only way to salvage the relationship is for her to see you as the highest value man she believes her SMV can afford you. But she has already said she chose you because you were a "nice guy". She married you for that reason, so do not be mad when she no longer wants to be with the guy she thought she married. More bad news, though, is you definitely have Chad Thundercock to compete with, and he is her personal trainer. (I bet she was fantasizing on him knocking her up and her passing it off as yours.) As you know, you can only change you, you cannot change her. She has to find you more attractive than him for her to switch her desire around. What makes this harder to work with is that if her therapist is likely pushing her to make a decision about whether to stick with you, and telling her that she will be okay with whatever decision she makes, so long as she makes it.

Bottom line, you have a pretty deep hole to dig out of. I'm not sure it's worth it to keep going with her. Start working on an amicable separation. MRP is, after all, about saving the man not the relationship.

Edit: Let me actually answer your questions:

Am I crazy for thinking she is genuine in wanting to work on our relationship?

Probably. She has already said she married you because you were a nice guy. You were the guy she wanted to settle down with and expected to live with. All of the sudden you are not that guy anymore. To the extent any woman is capable of rational thought, that is going to be the one going through her head when she makes any decision.

How should I treat her or act around her?

However you want to. You act the way you want to, not the way you think she wants you to. Just Be Yourself. (But understand that women only find a certain type of "yourself" sexually attractive...)

I'm pretty sure I have the ability, using Verizon Messenger app, to see all of her deleted txts. Is that a bad idea, or am I just going to make myself more sick?

Not when you are trying to make a case for fault in a divorce. While most all states are now no-fault divorce states, a lot of them consider infidelity when determining alimony. Other than that, what it is going to tell you that you don't already know? She's a lying, cheating bitch who is just following her ingrained hypergamous programming just like any other woman would. You don't get pissed off at the dog when it shits on the carpet, that's just what dogs do.

[–]SUP2012[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for answering the questions. Yeah, as much as I don't want to think it's true. In her mind, she definitely for the "stable" option. I just wished I had taken the wheel long ago, and been a better me.

[–]mabden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just wished I had taken the wheel long ago, and been a better me.

Whatever problems in the marriage and your contribution to them, does not in any way shape or form justify her decisions to fuck this POSPT. Her fucking boytoy is all on her.

[–]Sapphire_Jizz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

We really do have a pretty good family life, despite our currently fucked up relationship. I'm pissed, just don't want to make a hasty decision that will forever change my kids lives.

Sir, your kids' lives have already been inextricably changed. Your relationship with your wife will never be the same. I highly, highly doubt your "previously fucked up relationship" will improve; rather, I imagine it will only worsen. Yeah, you guys can be courteous roommates with each other when dealing with your kids, but is this the example you really want to set for them? A soulless, forced dynamic, void of any spark or affection. Wouldn't you rather have your kids see you happy, healthy, and as the captain of a good woman?

Your wife didn't seem to hesitate at all when making the "hasty" decision to fuck her PT. In fact, her decision was anything but hasty. She's probably been yearning for strange for years. You know what you have to do. Nothing here is sudden or hasty. Your eyes are now open, that's all.

[–]WesternhagenWinner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you guys can be courteous roommates with each other when dealing with your kids, but is this the example you really want to set for them? A soulless, forced dynamic, void of any spark or affection. Wouldn't you rather have your kids see you happy, healthy, and as the captain of a good woman?

I am dealing with this exact dilemma myself.

The answer always seems obvious when you're looking at someone else's situation.

The prospect of (a) causing the kids huge heartbreak and (b) only seeing them 50% of the time are a painful deterrent.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have a lot of choices here. Sometimes guys in this position switch on fast and truly become alpha. realize that she isn't yours...never was, and you have proof of that.

use her as you will. Plate her. Develop yourself. Document everything regarding child care. Be the best at everything. Then one day when you're ready drop the paperwork and walk.

Your ultimate choice is what do you want? You are waffling way too much for a man who just had his snowflake give it up to someone else.

Right now she has more frame then you do.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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