Expectations During Pregnancy

redearththeory · 2017-02-14T13:36:59+00:00

I found MRP around 15 months ago when my wife was pregnant with our 3rd. My suggestions are as follows.

1) Your wife is likely to get more unreasonable, more bitchy and turn up the shit tests. One explanation is that pregnancy is the time when she is the most vulnerable (physically, logistically, genetically) and most at risk from having a weak man. She will test you harder. Also, her hormones will go crazy and most people think this will result in an escalation of hostility and unreasonableness, even with all other things being equal. You should pass these tests to assure her of your strength. Gloves up son.

2) Some women get hornier in pregnancy but a lot don't. And sex will almost certainly get even less frequent during the first year after the birth. Maybe much less frequent. Despite this, you should still follow our way: flirt, initiate, be OI, no butthurt, no bitching. Its important to maintain her perception of you as a strong man who wants sex.

3) Oak up and lead your family. Get out in front of all the baby prep stuff and take control. Get a book on babies. Read it. Make a list of everything you need. Make sure you have it. Do all the DIY. Don't talk about any of this, don't let her find the book, don't tell her you're going shopping. Just do it and let her find out later. Get a book on the first year. Read it. Be ready with strategies for all major areas.

4) Own your family. You do things because its your family and you're going to make it awesome. This is your baby and you're going to make sure it has what it needs, regardless of what your wife does. Get your finances in order. Get the DIY done. Why? Because its your life, your family and you're going to fucking own it.

5) No new dread during pregnancy and definitely no dread over Stage 4. BPP has a lot of posts on this but escalation of dread during pregnancy has frequently been know to nuke marriages.

6) Most things you want (respect, sex, feminine domestic service) are to get worse for a long time before they get better. Set this expectation now. The good news is that you get a kid out of it, which is one of the best things in life.

TrinevomEmscherbruch · 2017-02-15T16:05:19+00:00

Ma told me: The Quality of the food you consume should double, not the quantity. You are eating for two, you have a responsibility to provide the very best food!"

dreadredrooms · 2017-02-16T14:45:49+00:00

Go on antenatal courses, as many as you can find/afford. Someone in MRP recommended NCT. The best thing I could have done for us was sign up to the classes.

HerukaRising · 2017-02-14T07:33:06+00:00

I take this is your first child? It would be in your best interests to get rid of all expectations for her. There are so many things that can go unexpectedly or even wrong during the pregnancy and the labor. Or everything will be just fine. In any case, it will take the both of you a long time to adjust to the inevitable changes. I'm talking years, so this won't be solved in one online discussion. Take good care of yourself and take good care of her. Just don't let her tip you off-balance.

youcantdenythat · 2017-02-14T10:42:24+00:00

You should only have expectations for yourself, not other people.

That said, do what you can to make sure she is getting proper nutrition, especially vit D, B12, Iron, etc. GIYF

Unless the doc says she's on bed rest, try to get her moving a bit. Take some walks with her if you can. Get her outside if its warm enough.

470_2_700_nm · 2017-02-14T12:39:23+00:00

All this bullshit about letting your wife be lazy and all. Maybe she will be sick from time to time. Mine worked full time and then came home and collapsed in bed.

Go ahead and heed the shit advice to allow your wife to do nothing while she is pregnant.

You reap what you sow.

drty_pr · 2017-02-14T12:59:25+00:00

If it is done right and if she breast feeds, the majority of the weight will be consumed during her lactation period with a regular diet. Key word here is regular. If she is eating a deck of cookies and a bag of chips everyday, she will gain too much. This is where leading is so crucial. She needs to want to get back to that hot little figure she always was.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2017-02-16T00:30:51+00:00

What answer did you come up with when you read the sidebar and why aren't you clear?

FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy · 2017-02-14T12:59:32+00:00

I'm pregnant.

I tend to go to work no matter what. I've gone to work with undiagnosed double pneumonia. I had to take a day off work last week from nausea/vomiting and exhaustion.

Maybe have the same expectations (at least first trimester) that you'd have for someone with stomach flu.

redmountainpill · 2017-02-14T13:50:55+00:00

Unless there's a reason she needs to be bedbound, like an incompetent cervix, she should be as active as possible. This a great time to lead her toward healthy activity and as much exercise as possible. The average woman should only gain 25lbs the entire pregnancy. Her her lazy ass up. She'll shit test you to the end of time, but it's better than trying to lose all that weight after the baby comes

InChargeMan · 2017-02-14T08:07:01+00:00

So, realistically she is probably lazy. My wife was gowning up for surgeries at 8 months, so I'm sure yours could find her way to microwave dinner. BUT...If you push her to do shit and she fights back, then there is a miscarriage, YOU will be responsible till the end of time. So, just let it slide.

Soberskipper · 2017-02-14T07:55:41+00:00

The only expectation you should have is expect the unexpected. Let her lazy it up as much as possible because once the baby Is here your both not going to get a proper sleep for years. Keep gaming her a having flirty fun eventhough she looks like shit and probably acts that way too. Pregnant women are horrible in every way. But during this time you should be drawing up a plan of action for when the baby arrives, this is an opportunity to lead and she'll want you to take it.

Title	Expectations During Pregnancy
Author	Davismj
Upvotes	0
Comments	74
Date	February 14, 2017 6:34 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5tyn51/expectations_during_pregnancy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/expectations-during-pregnancy.206518 https://theredarchive.com/post/206518

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