I posted this question recently but deleted it as I saw something posted along the same lines, but it didn't really give me the answers I wanted.
My understanding is:
A covert contract is doing something and expecting the other party to follow suit or start behaving in a similar way, or maybe start doing something as a reaction to it. Even expecting something because of it.
Example: Working out and expecting your SO to start doing it too.
Leading is setting everything up, getting her a gym membership, taking that workload and asking your SO to be there, go with her etc.
Example: This is the gym, this is the time, were signed up for a class, let's go/see you there.
My question is what's the line between the two? Acta non verba leads by actions not by words.
So if the difference isn't talking about it with her, what's the deal here?
Example: If I start dressing better, acta non verba, if I expect her to follow suit it's a covert contract. If I talk to her about it and explain it I'm DEERing.