How to balance withdrawal/dread/NGAF vs leadership?

discobolus_ · 2016-11-17T18:21:04+00:00

Tell her that you have a plan when the kids go to bed. Set up two canvasses, put bob ross on the TV, and have your own 'couples paint night' with some wine.
Talk to her about the importance of nutrition and make eating right something you do as a couple
Let her know that you are working on getting yourself to a healthier weight and that you expect the same from her. It's a hard conversation but you need to let her know that you want to set a good example for the kids and you want to be moving and running with them as they grow and that means being physically fit now.
Have fun, tease her, joke around, enjoy this shit.
Let her know that the two of you need to be individuals as well as lovers. If there is nothing interesting going on in either life then you're going to be bored with one another

Just fucking lead dude, she isn't going to get anywhere if you're a doofus who can't even lead himself never-mind lead her.

anythinginc · 2016-11-17T20:05:22+00:00

she understands nutrition...she's just not even trying

Nutrition is 95% of the battle with a women's weight outside of muscle building/definition...so how do you run the nutrition in your household? If the only snacks available for you and your family were baby carrots, yogurt, dried fruit, nuts and water to drink--and you planned the meals...then nobody in your house could get fat, end of story. You could accelerate this by talking your family on a walk around the block before you head off to the gym. Walking 30 minutes a day helps prevent so much shit it is incredible, and gets the kids ready for dinner/bed. Sorry dad, your bad.

Protip: Take your girl to the mall or outlets and literally walk/shop her until she can't go any further.

fakefalse · 2016-11-17T18:24:29+00:00

My position on this is to lead by example. You can't make anyone do anything. She either comes with you, or she is left behind.

Having said that, encourage her in more direct ways. Invite her on physical activities. Think of the first time you hit the gym. Intimidated. Or consider those times you didn't feel like going. You knew by going, you'd get into it. The same is true for her.

You want a hot wife. Then guide her there with action not words and with patience.

If there is still no movement on her part after a couple months, then up the dred, followed by getting the hell out.

[deleted] · 2016-11-17T19:09:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Red_Invictus · 2016-11-17T19:24:30+00:00

I think I'm in a similar boat as you, my girl doesn't have the overweight problem, just an extreme lack of fucks for improving herself.

The most important plan here is that you do not stop leading by example, and the next most important thing is that you be there ready to help her when she finally asks for it.

Obviously you can't do the lifts for her, but you could perhaps show her a good workout plan? Show her stronglifts 5x5 and show her how easy the phone app is for it. That's taking an active leading role, but she still has to put in the work. Whether she goes with you to the gym or not is up to you guys, I prefer going alone.

Since you also mention when you're at the gym, she has to stay home, maybe get her into some good home yoga program? That'll melt weight off, and get her joints conditioned and ready to actually lift.

Title	How to balance withdrawal/dread/NGAF vs leadership?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	23
Date	November 17, 2016 6:15 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5dhbvr/how_to_balance_withdrawaldreadngaf_vs_leadership/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/how-to-balance-withdrawaldreadngaf-vs-leadership.206864 https://theredarchive.com/post/206864

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