Help on this shit test at the dinner table

saint_chalet · 2016-10-18T21:23:09+00:00

Don't bring your phone to the table for 3 months and don't say anything to your sons, nothing to your wife. Just look at her shit test as a chance to BE better. In 3 months, quietly say to your son, "don't bring your phone to the table, whatever you're doing should wait until we're done". Don't say it in front of her, don't put her in a spot where her female nature (the need to nag) comes out in full force in front of your kids. Just deal with it quietly and off to the side.

When your teenage defies you because, well, he's a teenage, simply say, "you and I discussed this, young man, put your phone in your room and come back to the table".

And no, as your father, they don't have to listen to you. Not so long as you have nothing of value to say.

Scurvemuch · 2016-10-18T21:25:43+00:00

So you led them to using phone at the dinner table...

Now you want them to obey a command, not follow a leader.

Good job /s

SampsonBrass · 2016-10-18T21:39:02+00:00

Two teenage boys at the dinner table. What could be more fun? Having two teenage girls there too. Lol

Why is this a problem for you? It's because you've previously given your authority away. Because you're not someone your sons want to interact with. Because you don't command respect. Because they're not interested in what you have to say.

You should work on changing all those things. Work hard at it too because teens can smell a fraud a mile away. Especially do as I say not as I do assholes. But they're just teenagers, you can outsmart 'em.

UEMcGill · 2016-10-19T13:47:22+00:00

So this isn't a shit test, it's bad behavior. Don't let her off because of a technicality. In my house, it's a dictatorship, there's no expectation of fairness. If I bring my phone to the table, no matter if it's shitty for family time, that's my prerogative.

I'm their father, and they should listen to me", or "Can you be an adult and support me in parenting?"

At this point you've failed to lead. The first officer is actively challenging your authority and you shut up.

The correct answer is, "This is between him and I, mind your business."

"Boy, next time you bring your phone to the table, expect it to go dead, I'll call the phone company and shut down the WIFI. You know the rules."

Never let your partner undermine your parenting in front of the kids, even if it means chastising her in front of them. If you want to be nice, you can give her a warning ahead of time, but since you are striving to be a man of consequence enforce boundaries with both your wife and your kids.

thisisme0007 · 2016-10-18T21:01:47+00:00

Only faggots bring their phone to the dinner table with their family. Try leading.

cholomite · 2016-10-18T23:51:00+00:00

Laugh and tell her it's because you're the king and this is your castle. Treat her like another one of your kids. Yea, it's shitty to have your phone and tell your kids not to have theirs but so fucking what? I've never been a fan of having to buckle in the face of a double standard. This is your house and you'll do what you want. Do as I say, not as I do. You want to lead by example but I think everyone calling you out is off base. You really should stop using the phone at dinner but just because you do doesn't mean you have to just eat this shit test and can't raise your boys the way you want.

If she keeps on just say something cocky and funny or stupid. ..

"Watch your mouth maiden or I'll make you my jester" or something, then when your boys laugh tell them you'll feed them to the dogs. Keep it super light and playful. Getting butthurt with a stare or shutting shit down is the worst thing you can do. You made that comment, so own it. It doesn't matter what you do or what you did, you made a decision and that's that. However it is in your best benefit and a sign of a good captain to lead by example.

turk715 · 2016-10-18T21:17:44+00:00

I actually try not to bring phone to the table. It is a pet peeve of mine, I feel the table is for socializing and discussion, and I do try to lead. Removing the context of the phone example, the question is more of seeking a frame for when I say something of authority to the boys and she cans me.

BobbyPeru · 2016-10-19T03:38:51+00:00

STFU is the wrong approach here. Disrespect like this is unacceptable, and you need to make it clear to her in a calm manner when the kids aren't around. If she continues to do it, you start implementing consequences for her actions.

Improving_Daily · 2016-10-19T03:45:45+00:00

Put your phone away. Lead by example.

I was guilty of this. I ran a new outlet into a cabinet. When I come home from work my phone goes into that cabinet to charge next to my keys, wallet, gym bag, etc.

When it is away in the cabinet I'm not tempted to check on it. Problem solved.

screechhater · 2016-10-18T21:03:01+00:00

When the boys are in another room, remind her that you guys are a unified front.

Title	Help on this shit test at the dinner table
Author	turk715
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	October 18, 2016 8:49 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5869s8/help_on_this_shit_test_at_the_dinner_table/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/help-on-this-shit-test-at-the-dinner-table.206990 https://theredarchive.com/post/206990

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