loss of interest in wife

RPNoober · 2016-03-24T19:01:41+00:00

I have to ask. Have the intensity and duration of your feelings about ANYTHING remained constant throughout your life without any variation? That's not even possible.

Everything ebbs and flows.

Even if you get all your shit together using the tools here, your feelings about your wife will ebb and flow the same as feelings do for men in good marriages.

It's part of human nature and the reality of living with someone for a long time.

RPNoober · 2016-03-24T18:23:48+00:00

My wife is cool and interesting, you haven't shared very much so if you can't provide some back ground I'll just answer your question.

Anyone else have similar thoughts?

No

Does this get better?

You get what you give

its-iceman · 2016-03-24T18:17:14+00:00

I am basically at the same spot.

Mrs. Veritas is not at the pedestal anymore and my oneitis is almost gone.

Now when I look at her and I feel almost disgust. She is watching shows, Facebook and other social media all the time.

However I think it is more of my own projection. I am disappointed by the fact I did not see it before and by fact I waste portion of my life.

I think it takes a little bit of time to get through. The final goal is true independence where I do not care at all.

[deleted] · 2016-03-24T18:46:33+00:00

Yes we have all been there.

As TFA said, this is happening because you are seeing a reflection of yourself.

at some point, you will either get what you give, or figure out that its not going to happen from this person. You will know because by then you will be able to answer all these questions.

RPNoober · 2016-03-24T18:50:35+00:00

It happens. Commonly, theres a phase in between your improvement and her catching up where you actively resent, or lose interest in her.

One of two things will happen, she'll catch on and improve, or you lose interest and leave.

Part of the process

RedDreadWolverine · 2016-03-25T18:38:14+00:00

It can change. Use it as time to self improve. Come back and look later. I was afraid to even be attracted to other women before. Now I point them out to my wife. My attraction to her is based mostly on the effort she puts into me instead of on our history like before.

ajs02f · 2016-03-24T18:31:32+00:00

Not only this, but she doesn't motivate me sexually as much either. I've been having a hard time wanting to initiate sex with her. Libido and sex drive is fine...it's her specifically.

Taking and ravaging a new woman is still a thrilling and amazing experience for me. But it's hard to manufacture that urge for her. I find myself initiating because I know I'm supposed to...not because of an intense desire to conquer her.

Anyone else experience this?

Redneck001 · 2016-03-24T18:39:22+00:00

Does this get better?

One way or the other.

I'm guessing this is the later stage of the anger phase. I'm guessing you're working your ass of on yourself, and you're still not getting the response you want. You meet new, younger options every day. Then you go home to your wife, and ... you're thinking "fuck this, that hottie that I met today would ..."

My advice is to give it more time. You likely have more work to do anyway. And when and if your woman responds, it will be like a light switch suddenly turned on.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-03-24T18:51:44+00:00

I don't have this problem with my wife. If you married a moron, why are you expecting her to suddenly provide intellectual value to your life?

Would you be disgusted by your children if they acted like this?

I wrote about this recently along with Archwinger and Jack. When you rely on her validation and then you get to the point you don't need her validation then your view of her changes. It must.

FearDearg2015 · 2016-03-24T21:05:20+00:00

does this get better?

The question is, what standards do you expect her to reach? What are your expectations here? You don't get to just change a few things and then just sit back and reap the rewards. That's just lazy. And feeling sorry for yourself because you got a lazy unattractive wife is also pathetic.

She was attractive at one point, no? I mean, you saw something in her at some point? Sure, there were the "dark years" where you were the drunk captain asleep at the wheel, but those are gone now. That's the past. Leave that in the past. And stop worrying about what the future might bring. (or not). Your life just passes you by when you do that.

Ordinary_Gentelman · 2016-03-25T13:43:56+00:00

Ok. I had my ass kicked a little and righty so. Normally i am not the Drill Sergeant type here but since no one else is going to do it I will.

First. WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK. Am I really reading some of these responses from the veterans? Really? If man card wasn't such a gay term I'd be asking for them all to be turned in. Maybe even pink flair next to all the names.

Dude listen. You wrote the biggest covert contract of them all and kept it. You took the pussy off the pedestal but not before you dusted its, waxed it, cleaned up real nice, then put it on an altar. You are doing what most here are still doing, couching your acceptance of the contract terms using MRP lingo. That contract is basic in that it says "I DO X SHE DOES Y".

That aint happening. At all. You question why you would want to spend time with her? Guess what? I am betting she is asking the same thing about you...and she is clearly saying it out loud while you are being covert about it...which by the why is a role reversal. Women are covert. You need to speak through action. So why not be the man she and other women would want to be with? Because I am here to tell you if you can't handle the one woman in your life you sure as shit ain't going to be able to handle any other one.

I am not asking for your history of what you have done, only you know that for sure and if its been really effective but dear gawd man I suggest you read the two basic books again: NMMNG and WISNIFG. Because I don't think you did and if you did you sure as didn't internalize it. At any point did you go: that's me!

She sounds like a child? How much time have you spent here because a dozen guys will tell that she is. hands down. You need to grow up and learn to take control of that situation. get out of the house if you have to but gawd man grow up. Stop wallowing and mourning the love you thought you had. It never existed.

I didn't get laid last night. Wife would have nothing to do with it. In addition to that I had to tell her that she was slacking in her share of the household chores. I manned up ran 4 miles, then hit the gym. Had the best fuckign lift of the week. It doesn't look like it will happen tonight or at all this weekend because she has clinical all weekend long. Multiple 12 hours shifts. And I know her. She can't handle working that long. Fuck she can barely handle an getting up at 9am after 11 hours of sleep. Me? My ass is up at 4am and doesn't look at a pillow until 11:30pm. I don't even sit for longer then an hour. there isn't a woman who can hold a candle to me.

So I will answer your question: Does it get better?

No. You get better or you don't.

Title	loss of interest in wife
Author	RPNoober
Upvotes	7
Comments	92
Date	March 24, 2016 6:07 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4bsrb3/loss_of_interest_in_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/loss-of-interest-in-wife.207569 https://theredarchive.com/post/207569