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January 22, 2016

In all the discussions and growing hobbies comes up. This is an area I don't necessarily have an issue with. I have a wide range of interests; from firearms to board games. Heck as part of my growth I have picked up my texts about Logic (I have dual bachelors degrees and one is in Logic).

The trouble is that in the past (BP days) my wife as always been opposed to anything that takes me outside the home' or in her words the family or anything that would cause me to spend money outside the family. The exception to the is going to the gun range as she doesn't see it as a hobby.

So as a result my BP persona had me closing off most of my outside interests. I still do some of my hobbies actively (board games with a club I run and go to the range 1 a month). Sometimes when I can get out more often it's usually to a response "I don't care I have to study" or her mom is over....

how do you deal with her when she starts complaining about these things?

And as I type this an epiphany comes to me. I am there to entertain her, to keep her from being bored.....

Well fuck

Post Information
Title Hobbies
Author bio9
Upvotes 10
Comments 22
Date 22 January 2016 02:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207710
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/425s0a/hobbies/
Similar Posts

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

The progression should be as follows:

First question you ask yourself "Am I getting shit done?", check.

Second, "Is she off the pedestal?" Check.

Third, "If she is, why would I care if she's angry?" Check.

Put that shit right back on her. She's a big girl and perfectly capable of entertaining herself while you're not around. Don't be afraid to tell her.

I can tell you it never really gets better, just easier. My wife a couple of weeks ago said "You never ask me if you can go out."

As soon as she said it she realized and was like "You know what I mean." and a minute later she was like "I just miss you." So a quick kiss on the head and an "I love you" and comfort test averted.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Yep. That's almost an exact conversation.


[–]Griever1142 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Get your shit together. When said shit is packed up night and tight, stop giving a shit about your wife giving you shit. Its her shit, let her deal with her shit.

Enjoy spending time not entertaining her shit but doing your own shit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hm. Going for the record amount of shits in one post?

Ha. Got your point. Crystal.

[–]Griever1140 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes but also to prove a point, that its all bullSHIT. You need to detach (unplug) from the wife. The communication most women give give verbally is absolute garbage if not all lies and 1/4 truths. Learn to listen and REALLY hear what she is saying.

More than likely, when you are out of the house she realizes she has absolutely NO value to her life. She is probably watching TV or some shit especially since she is an introvert. However, you are exhibiting higher qualities. You are busy, have people to meet, things that ADD VALUE to your life portfolio.

What you should do is the following:

2 birds approach- Invite her to "some" of the hobbies. You NEED alone time however, I think she would enjoy shooting any maybe on other. If she doesnt come, you tried. End of discussion. If she comes, great.

No fucks approach- This little gem will send that hamster into orbit Its a reality bitch slap.

Dont ever apologize for taking care of your health (mental or physical) or having a life outside of marriage.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too much Truth being spoken here.

Much of what I am reading and learning is really bringing up some stuff. I am remembering what it was like when I was in my 20s. I really didn't give a fuck. My money was my own. I didn't date much...didn't see the point. I had things to do.

If only Redpill had been around back then. Save myself a lot of trouble.

[–]Trekneck9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do your hobbies make you happy? Are you a better man because you allow yourself to enjoy them? Then do them.

Are you blowing so much money on your hobbies that you're budget is suffering? Are your hobbies a part of your monthly budget? Then there's no problem. Not your fault she has no hobbies.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

how do you deal with her when she starts complaining about these things?

you don't, she isn't part of the equation.

[–]CountpudyoolaMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You have to keep on doing what you like.

The moment you start letting her dictate your hobbies and interests she moves from being your wife to your mom.

I had one of those. Don't need/want another.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is normal Beta-ization that ALL women attempt. AWALT. They will poke and probe and try to turn you into putty that she can manipulate- and then throw away.

The answer is to ignore, agree and amplify, Kino, seduce, and fuck her good.

[–]SexistFlyingPig1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pick up one different hobby: weightlifting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Do you man, it's not your job to get her to do something. Sure, you can guide her to being an interesting person, but you can't make her find something to do with her time.

Do you want advice on how to get out or do you want advice on how to get your wife a life and hobby?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Neither. As I wrote it I put my big boy pants back on.

As for her that's not my job it's hers. She's made her choice to be an introvert and a "recluse". It's actually a family trait of hers. her entire family is, for the most part, introverted. Despite what they say.

I got this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Roger, Ever think of getting her an easel and pallet? Letting her have a hobby that is hers and it doesn't put her into larger crowds? Pull up some Bob Ross on youtube and let her go to town.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She is a classical pianist. The lower floor of the house has been completely converted to be a piano studio. And...my ass bought her two pianos over the years. One baby grand and one EXTERMELY expensive upright.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'll stick to my painter wife

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cheaper by far I'm sure.

[–]alphabeta49Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Marry me

[–]ArchwingerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You do what you want, unapologetically. It's Sunday and that's your lifting day? Go lift. Kiss your wife and kid(s) on the way out. When your wife passive-aggressively says "You're really leaving the family to go work out?" you respond "Yes. I lift on Sundays. You know that." Replace lifting with other hobbies as appropriate.

Do not engage her. Turn your phone off to avoid the text shitstorm if you have to.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Folks have told you to do what you want to. Do that.

And as I type this an epiphany comes to me. I am there to entertain her, to keep her from being bored.....

Let me rephrase that for you. You are there to make yourself happy and not be boring.

See the difference?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah. I miswrote that. It should have said the epiphany was that I am NOT there to entertain her )(though she thinks so...unconsciously or not.) Sunday night she wanted me to sit on the couch with her while she studied. "Oh I can talk while I study."

Naw. Not interested in less then your 100% attention on me.

I left the room for several hours until bed. Had pretty good sex that night too....I am assuming that was a cause effect relation but only been at this maybe 2 weeks. Still more to prove out.

But I took the lumps and the advice is good. So far when I am home I don't sit down more then 20 minutes unless I am eating or hitting the rack.

[–]its-iceman0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Part of this is that she wants you to be her party planner. Don't be her party planner.

Pick something that has a schedule that you have to adhere to. That's one great thing about martial arts.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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