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NMMNG is giving me dissonance.

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October 6, 2015
9 upvotes

So I'm all awesome and shit. Unplugged a year ago, and have been making huge gains in every way. Some areas need work, but that's just me being impatient. Fuck yeah!

I'm doing to much lurking on MRP/RP/Ask(M)RP so decide to revisit the books. Sex God method was nice reinforcement and affirmation. I'm on track. Check.

Then I get into NMMNG. No prob. YAWN. I've read this already... wait! Fuck. I'm on page 60 and I'm having pangs of dissonance. WTF. It's hitting me on all fronts. It hurts the feels to read. I try three times to text the wife for comfort and reassurance. But my new programming kicks in. STFU! Don't jizz your insecure feels all over her. Man up. Take the beating. It's a cold shower that will make you stronger... fuck.

The book tells me to accept who i am and share. Not to put up walls. That by hiding my imperfect self, i create walls and stifle intimacy. But i need to be Alpha. I need to be self nurturing. I should fake it till i make it. This cunnundrum was a no brainer two hours ago.

So. I'm not nearly as far along as I thought. So I'm gonna STFU and keep reading.

So basically, this vomit post is to substitute my wife with all of you for the reassurance and validation i have not yet learned to provide myself. Yuk. I feel small and gross.


Post Information
Title NMMNG is giving me dissonance.
Author fakefalse
Upvotes 9
Comments 29
Date 06 October 2015 03:40 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/208047
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3npvj9/nmmng_is_giving_me_dissonance/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
alphaNMMNG
Comments

[–]TotesMessenger10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

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[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy

Don't forget to lift. Merely reading is not going to do it.

[–]fakefalse[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

SMV is climbing high. That's part of the frustration. I'm getting attention from women and I feel good about myself. But she is slow to come around. My focus is still stuck on her. I need to self nurture. It's my weakest muscle right now.

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's all about how she perceives your SMV really. You could be a 10 in everyone's book but if she sees you as a 5, you are a five.

[–]fakefalse[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'd be a 4 had i texted her. I'm still in the game.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Rule of thumb, you have no idea what your SMV is. female attention/affection is the only objective measure.

[–]itsgavinc2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bingo. It's called a "market" for a reason. You are worth what somebody will pay.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm focused more on avoiding mental masturbation.

[–]pullypants[🍰] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very rough test was on one of the 'manosphere' (urgh hate that word) blogs yesterday. Eye contact in the street; she looks down, she's attracted but shy, looks directly at you, she's attracted and keen, looks to the side, she's not attracted and you're dismissed. Been trying it out and it's not perfect, they might just be looking down to see where they're going, but as a general guide it seems to work. The look sideways is definitely more frequent with the hotties.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The girls flirting with you are acting on first impression. You're high value to them.

Your wife? She's seen all the weak, groveling, pussified bullshit you've pulled for years. She's not as easily impressed.

Nor should she be.

But this is your journey, not hers.

[–]fakefalse[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yup. You got me there. Years of blue behavior. Takes time. Again, i need to be focused on me. Not her.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck it, no shame. I can't believe some of the shit I used to do. But it gets better over time. Then, it's like somebody flipped a switch, and your wife starts looking at you doe-eyed.

Stick with the program, you got this.

[–]SexistFlyingPig1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I had a girlfriend not notice when I dropped 10% of my body weight as fat over the course of a month.

Let that sink in. I probably cut my body fat percentage in HALF and she didn't notice.

[–]fakefalse[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're right!

I have to do this for myself. Not for her. She is contributing to my life, not my life's purpose.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bingo.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She noticed but wouldn't say. Ye Olde Dread.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

her coming around shouldn't be a goal, or even on the radar.

you're unfucking yourself, and once you're happy with where you are at, you decide what gets into your life.

expecting her to do sweet fuck all in regards to that is a covert contract

[–]fakefalse[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is my new focus. Self nurturing. No more mister nice guy.

[–]blarggggggggggg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the 'Alpha' can admit his imperfections, but is not over-sensitive about his imperfections. He accepts himself as he is, while always working on improvement. If criticized on a legitimate flaw, he can crack a joke about it with amusement, A&A or just otherwise not be oversensitive and let the opinion of others get to him. He is not reliant on the other's opinions for validation, he has a healthy self-esteem which gives him security even in recognition of imperfection.

The 'Alpha' does not put up walls to hide behind, the 'alpha' creates healthy boundaries about what he will or will not accept and is comfortable with. Male friends and close family are for emotionally leaning on in difficult moments, not the spouse.

The 'Alpha' does share, he shares his thoughts and plans, maybe his big dreams. He is a leader that creates these goals and inspires those around him to participate and assist in making these things a reality.

[–]throwaway7834873870 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

WE LOVE YOU! What's the reason for this post?

[–]fakefalse[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. For both reasons. I needed that.

[–]pullypants[🍰] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Think I'm at the same spot in NNMNG: that you need to develop intimacy by sharing and being vulnerable. I'm shit at that to be frank, and shit at knowing the difference between looking weak and being vulnerable. I just can't relate to what this is. Anyone got some examples of what the author means?

[–]fakefalse[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Its been a couple days and i think I'm slowly digesting it.

My way of looking at it, is to be open and free to show my feelings. Let her understand that I'm angry or upset or even happy. This avoids misunderstandings, covert contacts and increases intimacy.

On the RP angle, keep those expressions in check, in the sense of relevance. If it compromises you then STFU. If it makes you look weak then STFU. If it's irrelevant then shut the fuck up.

If your not sure, err on the side of caution.

Here's a trick I'm using. If my display gives her tingles, then splooge those feels all over her. If it's a maternal instinct you are triggering then STFU!!

[–]pullypants[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's all very good for adding the alpha, but it doesn't seem to go along with what Athol says about mixing the alpha and the beta and what NMMNG says about showing vulnerability to build intimacy. I can see where they're coming from, this isn't TRP, this is hardmode, we can't be cocky pricks who fuck off the next day. The difficulty is how you do the vulnerability and intimacy without becoming clingy, needy and weak.

[–]fakefalse[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. That's the trick.

I fucked it up last month on my wife's previous shark week. I was doing well on the alpha growth, but wanted to make sure i was giving her the beta she needed. Well, i ended up over doing it causing a trigger effect for both of us and falling back two months on my progress.

I was told not to put too much conscious effort into it. So long as i internalize it, my subconscious will do the rest.

Not much of an answer for ya, but i did learn not to be so eager.

[–]jcrptaRed Beret-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's no harm in letting the things that upset you out.

BUT... you do not, ever, under any circumstances, let them out to your wife. She is your wife, not your therapist, and while she will make cooing "you can tell me anything" noises, she says this because society says she should, not because she honestly thinks it.

[–]fakefalse[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah. This is a truth i cannot lose sight of. She is probing to find out how safe I am for her. If i trickle truth her too much info, she will grow concerned and feel insecure with my long list of weaknesses.

I'm the man here. I shall present myself as such.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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