Is it appropriate to cook together at a guy’s house on the third date?

tommyetw · 2018-06-19T04:41:46+00:00

The night doesn't have to end at his place after dinner. You can always then head out elsewhere more neutral/safe. If he's such a great guy, he'd sense the reasoning behind that and be fine with it. Just don't do dinner at 10pm.😉

Carocucciolo · 2018-06-19T04:42:29+00:00

I would try to keep the dates at public places for a bit longer. If you do go to his place, just be firm about not getting too touchy, and don’t stay there too late. Kudos for thinking ahead like this. I often totally neglect to consider that a guy might be expecting a hookup if I go to his place, and then I get myself in an awkward spot.

[deleted] · 2018-06-19T05:24:47+00:00

I agree with you that he inviting you to cook in his house is almost certainly an effort to get you into bed. You can't blame him for trying, but it doesn't mean you need to go along with it if you aren't ready! Just try to make this clear before going over there.

I would probably go with /u/tommyetw's advice of an earlier start and planning a public activity after you've cooked together. Just let him know that you'd love to cook with him, but would want to end the evening with a coffee or tea somewhere else.

I saw a tip in here the other day to not shave your legs before the date, and I totally used to do that when I was dating haha. It's a great insurance policy if you think you might be tempted to stick around after dinner :P

OwnrCowownr · Tue Jun 19 15:43:02 2018 UTC

In my experience the “3rd date rule” is a myth and most men aren’t even privy to it 😂 It’s way too soon for sex anyway, you still barely know eachother, so I don’t think he’d be expecting it (a man can hope though 😂) or that you’re leading him on by cooking dinner at his place. I agree with the other posters, just do it a little earlier 😉

LaPrimaVera · 2018-06-19T11:16:08+00:00

I agree with u/tommyetw about tea/ dessert after dinner so you can end the night officially.

I'll also add some things I do when dating.

Always know how the date will end; how you will get home and roughly what time. This way you can make sure you get home safely and don't end up spending the night before you are ready (obviously this will change when in a committed relationship).
On the above, I also let someone know where I am going and what time I will be home when it's a man I don't know quite well. This may sound a bit juvenile (and I've had people tell me it sounds like I'm a teenage girl) but your saftey is more important than being cool.
Keep dates public until you know him well. This is obviously going to change based on how well you know him beforehand, but again always keep yourself safe even if it makes things awkward.
Be upfront with what you want and what you are willing to do. Many woman now days are willing to give it out to anyone so men often expect this. If you're not okay with that then tell him, a good man will respect this

anna1293 · 2018-06-19T13:50:22+00:00

God this "let's cook together" line has been used on me so many times. Luckily it's only been by guys who were only interested in sex. I say luckily because I felt no loss in turning them down since there was no ambiguity in it and they barely knew me as a person and in your case it's less clear cut.

You don't seem comfortable with this. This guys ego might be bruised a bit if you take it back, even if it doesn't seem like it, because this does covertly imply a hook up. If I were you I would say that you don't feel like cooking and suggest taking him out to some Japanese restaurant instead. You pay so that he still feels good and that's that. His response will also offer insight into his intentions.

Hartley7 · 2018-06-19T13:40:50+00:00

At this early stage, dates should be public because going to a man's private home is often interpreted as a signal of being open to sex.

_TheFantasticMrsFox_ · 2018-06-21T02:18:16+00:00

I think there is a lot of good advice so far about how to make sure the date continues outside the home to mitigate him trying to take it to the next level.

I would also, if you’re comfortable bringing it up, let him know your stance and why it’s important to you to wait a bit. If you’re not comfortable, that’s okay! It’s a tricky thing to bring up directly- but I would also have a little snippet ready so if he does ask- you have a clear, direct answer ready. Something simple like “I’m not ready right now and prefer to be in a committed relationship, but I’m happy that we’re getting to know each other”

I think it’s possible to go, make a yummy dinner, have fun and then go for desert or a nice walk afterwards. As long as you feel comfortable and safe doing so- I hope you have fun no matter what date night you choose to go with though!

kekerae · 2018-06-21T16:26:42+00:00

I went to my now husband's house for a home cooked supper on our 3rd date. We watched a movie and kissed and cuddled and then I went home.

51cab · 2018-06-19T12:44:52+00:00

Maybe I've been out of the game too long, but what's wrong with stating clearly and kindly, "I'm not ready to go that far yet," if he tries. Why all the strategizing? If you aren't comfortable saying something like that, then you probably aren't comfortable enough to go to his house in the first place.

Title	Is it appropriate to cook together at a guy’s house on the third date?
Author	Carocucciolo
Upvotes	10
Comments	30
Date	June 19, 2018 4:28 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/8s61cy/is_it_appropriate_to_cook_together_at_a_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/is-it-appropriate-to-cook-together-at-a-guys-house.208494 https://theredarchive.com/post/208494

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