No one to talk to

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February 3, 2019

27 years old. Living with mom still. Only child. Sometimes I wish I had an older brother to talk to growing up to have a role model. My dad is red pill himself. I don’t think he’s ever been attached to a woman. I go to talk to him once a in a while about my problems. Idk why I get somewhat invested and attached to women after dating them long term. Then I start seeing their true colors and I get somewhat insecure. I set myself up for a shitty ending every time. I’ve gone thru this shit not once, not twice but like 5 fucking times now. You hear people saying “oh once you get your heart broken once or twice you’ll learn and things will be different” nope I still haven’t learned. My test levels are in the norm. 600 ng/dL. I’m 5’9 about 160. BP 275/S 340/DL 440 lbs

I’m working in plumbing and heating right now. Working 6 days a week. Making about 52,000 a year which is shit here in New York. I can’t move out my moms house and grow as a man.

So this long term relationship was 1+ years. Second day of break up. The same shitty feeling is back Once again. Depressed. Anxiety. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Feel like a bitch. Can’t lift right now I’m weak as shit. I picked up smoking cigarettes again. Just need to get myself together and I feel like it takes me way longer than it does to other people going thru similar shit. Does talking to a therapist work or are they going to tell me some shit like. “ oh you need to talk to her about your feelings and how you feel about the relationship”?

To make things worse I requested this whole week off from work. This was before break up. I can always work the week and get my vacation money. I haven’t taken a week off from work in over a year so I thought it would be nice but now I’m not going to be doing shit except thinking. I’d appreciate any advice here. Thanks

Post Information
Title No one to talk to
Author Trpthrowaway0719
Upvotes 79
Comments 75
Date 03 February 2019 01:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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Red Pill terms found in post:
testosteronelong term relationshipliftthe red pill

[–]praguetologist96 points97 points  (12 children) | Copy

Dude you need to get out of your moms house. What about renting with roommates?

[–]jackandjill2224 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

NYC isn't a place to live dude. Unless you're really rich.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 20 points21 points  (8 children) | Copy

I want to live alone that’s the thing. My best friend has a kid and lives w the baby mother. He’s making 150k a year. He’s good. My other friend is saving up to move out. Probably with his brothers. My other friend has a fucking coke addiction and alcohol addiction. That wouldn’t work.

[–]bestCallEver29 points30 points  (2 children) | Copy

Work this week and pocket the vacation moneys.

I also spent most of my adult life (in my 30's now) in one ltr or another and now find myself single again. Each relationship taught me a lot, I too have made the same "mistakes" over and over (generally the slow loss of frame in every relationship) ... but you know what? There's two options: sit around feeling bad for yourself, re engage with cigarettes so you have another problem to deal with, or.... commit to unfucking yourself. Sure you can't snap your fingers and solve all your problems , but you know what your biggest issues are and it's time now to make a realistic and solid plan to fix that shit (move out, etc) then keep your fucking head down and do the work so you're a better man two months from now than you are today.

Action. Action is the number one thing you need right now. She's gone, get back to work and make solid plans to change your life, then pursue them like your life depends on it (because it does).

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks man. I appreciate it. It’s hard to find a decent roommate but I guess I’m going to have to if I can’t find a cheap place to live at. I need to commit to unfucking myself like you said. It feels good to be out of this shitty feeling. And I do want to go to work and try to get my mind off this shit but I’m gonna be thinking about this shit at work regardless and it’s going to affect my performance.

[–]bestCallEver11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Without knowing much about your life, I'd suggest you also start thinking further outside the box. You're a plumber, you can find decent work ANYWHERE. It sounds like your friends are busy with their own lives or on drugs, so what's keeping you in NYC? I'd at least suggest letting yourself contemplate moving, if it appeals to you at all. Imagine saving every penny for six months and then hitting the road to go live in that ski town you love, or by the beach in Hawaii, or in some other city across the country or around the world. $50k a year is enough to live comfortably in many places, and of course the right plumbing gig can pay a lot more eventually.

Good luck bud, hope you use this as a positive turning point, and strip away those limitations you feel are holding you on this one life path. Even if you stay in N.Y. it's Good for the brain to think about the other possibilities.

[–]praguetologist2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Craigslist roommates. You’re stunting your personal growth and healing process from break up still living w your mom. You need to get out on your own and start doing your own thing. Don’t box yourself into a situation just for the sake of it, especially when it sounds like you can afford to move out and share rent you just don’t want to do so with strangers. Understand you ideally want to live alone but you need to start making moves somehow

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes I know I need to start making moves. I’m getting old and living with my mom is starting to seem like it’s the reason why I’m not growing as a man. My dad who was much more of a man at 27 than I am took my mom and moved out of the country to start somewhere else. So yeah he made moves. He was much more out going and striving than me. He made moves his life depended on it. He worked his ass off. He had success with women and work. Idk what that has to do with anything just wanted to share

[–]praguetologist6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Before you go to bed each night, write down the top 3 things you DONT want to do tomorrow but know you should (eg go to gym, approach 5 new girls, start researching potential new housing, eating vegetables, whatever). When you wake up the next day, do those 3 things first. You don’t need to be your dad, you just need to be the best you which might be even better than him. It starts with small actionable steps.

[–]vivid_mind1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't compare yourself to others but to yourself in the past. What did you do wrong? How can you fix? Did you progress? What are your goals?

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My goal right now is to be at pease with myself.

[–]OutsideTheCage36 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Making about 52,000 a year which is shit here in New York. I can’t move out my moms house and grow as a man.

At 52K/year you can still live in parts of Brooklyn and Queens. Split a two-bedroom with a roommate.

Start crossfit.

Quit smoking.

You need to change your life.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man. Yes I need to quit smoking. I do lift and I enjoy it. Eating hasn’t been easy these days so my workouts suck.

[–]AVWA32 points33 points  (7 children) | Copy

Leave NYC man. You're 27, the older you get the harder it will be to leave. Anywhere you go needs plumbing, and there's a shortage. Go to Kansas, Tennessee, North Carolina, Florida, Georgia, New Mexico, Colorado. Go and do you.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

I know you’re right the older I get the harder it becomes. It already feels like I’m stuck here. Here and there I get a rush to arrive and move out and then I have days where I feel depressed and don’t wanna do shit and strive forward with my life.

[–]sesamerox1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

look man, from my experience you've got to move around.

Your first step to move away could be to go away to work for a week or two or do some networking in the area. You could also do some market research or just apply to jobs in the desired area and see where it gets you and what info you can gather.

Then do a temp in couple of different towns / states and see what you prefer. Consider abroad as well, at least for research purposes.

On the other hand sometimes to change your state you need a break though. Not had a week off for so late long too? I hope you had a change of scenery now and then...

Edit: mistakes

[–]Eldudearino891 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Dude move to the south. You'll still make 40-60k easy being a plumber, and they are always needed.

I'm 29 and just moved to Richmond, VA cause my skill (Sign Language Interpreter) is needed more here than TN.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

That’s awesome man. I’m glad you found a good job in Richmond. Do you have any family there or started from zero ?

[–]Eldudearino892 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I do have family here. Letting me stay with them for 3 to 4 months then I'll be on my own. I put myself into a pickle with my ex, and etc so the family has been nice enough to help me out

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nice good shit man and I hope you get sorted out and move back on your own

[–]Eldudearino890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks dude. Oh I will get it sorted. Best wishes your way too.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

Cigarettes will fuck up your ability to lift... sounds like poison... sounds like a bad fucken idea.

Surely 52k means you can at least Airbnb a place on weekends once a month so you can get your dick wet at least a bit while you save.

In any case you have to have the mentality of owning your shit. Your income is low but your profession pays well in some parts of the world.

Tradies earn 6 figures even the lower ranks here in Sydney Australia... have you considered getting the freely available work visa and coming to Oz? Better weather, bitches, beaches, beers, bbqs and an opportunity to choose who you hang with fresh...

Avoid people who regularly do drugs like coke etc

My gawd you gotta get rid of the cigs

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

I started smoking years ago because of shit low self esteem. I got over some insecurities and got somewhat fit and I would always look at people that smoked with disgust. Now I’m one those people. I will quit soon again. And no I’ve never thought about moving across the world and I don’t think I can do that with just a couple thousand dollars

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Man I’m hearing excuses... you have to cut the ‘blame the world’ out ASAP. Leave it in the past.

Meditate, love your body only get one life.

You gonna continue to poison your body because of shit self esteem?

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I work 48 hours a week and go to the gym almost every day. I slipped up and picked up cigarettes I know. I got a shirt workout today. It’s hard to get back on your feet when you’re not mentally there. It will happen though. I’m optimistic

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yea and don’t forget diet and rest is 70% of the gain when you gym... I personally lift heavy to the point of absolute breaking point 2-3 times a week. The other days are light cardio on the treadmill or with a woman in the bedroom. More important is the meal prep for healthy eating every day.

So you need to be feeding your body clean protein salads for lunch, whole grain or protein rich type breakfasts... and wholesome dinners with lots of good vegetables.

If you drink booze. Quit it. 100% unless it for social outings or to date a women and seduce her back to your Airbnb

I realise quitting bad habits and forming new ones isn’t easy... you should fake it til you make it. It’s ok to take baby steps if you have a goal and deadline set with some milestones in between...

Those moments where you fight relapse will change your future for the better. Butterfly effect style.

Oh and if you watch porn. Cut that immediately and never use it as a crutch again. Ever. Fucks with your mind, serotonin and testosterone

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes great advice. Fighting relapse sucks but it makes you a better person. Not much of an appetite right now. Just had some eggs this morning and that’s all. Not getting much sleep. I don’t want to take any pills and shit like that. Just dealing with it. Haven’t watched porn in a very long time. I also like lifting high volume low reps.

[–]Spidaddy11 points12 points  (13 children) | Copy

Hey man. I just moved from New York (Long Island) to Florida, because the cost of living there was too much and thank god I have family down here to help.

Have you ever thought of moving to a state such as here? Everyone everywhere needs plumbers, especially in Florida.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy

I’m currently in Long Island. It is expensive as hell. I also have some relatives in Miami. Although I don’t see myself living there. I heard pay sucks down there and there isn’t many jobs though

[–]Spidaddy7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

The pay definitely sucks but that’s what you get for a low cost of living. The taxes down here aren’t as bad as New York, they don’t tax your income down here 😄

And in terms of jobs, the metro areas are where a majority of the jobs are, really like anywhere else.

[–]overcomplicate6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

The pay is less cause the cost of living is so much less, St.louis isn’t far from you and has one of the lowest cost of living in the country. It’s even better in the south in places like Memphis or southern Texas. Living in a city like LA or New York is setting yourself up to never have any extra income, it’s a rat race

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I’ve seen people leave Long Island and go to live in states like Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina. And they all end up coming back here

[–]TFWnoLTR2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Theres a shortage of skilled labor in the Detroit area and construction is about to boom again after an insanely busy 2018. I know this because I'm an estimator at a large local investment and commercial property company. I see upcoming projects long before the loans are even approved by the banks.

It's not a place people think of as a place to relocate to because of the reputation the city has, but the reality is nobody actually lives in the city. Theres a huge suburban metro area that is booming. You can basically have your pick of living expenses and commute situation. You can try to PM me for more info, but I cant say I'd be quick to respond because I'm usually busy.

The main point being, it really does sound like you just need to get out of NYC. Pick a place and save up 4 to 6 months of expected living expenses and two months rent, then apply for jobs over the phone. I know it's scary taking that leap, and the odds are you'll be right back in NYC after a few years, but the point is to try something new and learn from your experience. I did it moving to Florida in 2009 then Georgia in 2012, and I always ended up coming home, but I got more life and work experience that eventually landed me the awesome job I have now. It also helped me learn not to fear taking a risk now and then.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yes but that all sounds like union work and a lot of years of apprentice work making the minimum. How old were you when you made the move to Florida and then Georgia. You’re right a leap like that takes some balls but it sure helps you grow and come across different opportunities with jobs

[–]TFWnoLTR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's a good mix of union and open shop stuff around here.

If you plan on sticking with the trade, you should go union anyways. Don't look at it like you'd be losing money having to work for apprentice rates. It probably wouldn't be much of a pay cut anyways if you're only making 50k a year right now. You get annual raises anyways.

[–]MisterMarbles19881 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

What part? I used to live in East Meadow and found a 1BR for $1200/mo all utilities included.

Also if you already live in LI have you looked into applying to be an air traffic controller at New York TRACON? They put out direct hire bids to local residents, no experience required. If you make it, you'll be pulling in >$200k per year.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I live in glen cove. Just looked it up. That’s very interesting. I will look into it. How did you hear about this ? Know anyone that has been selected ?

[–]MisterMarbles19881 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Former controller, used to work there.

No, I don't know anyone who was picked up on THAT specific avenue of hiring. It's a fairly recent opportunity.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It must be hard to get picked up by them I’m assuming. 200k a year and no experience sounds crazy

[–]MisterMarbles19880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Getting picked up is the easiest thing in the world. Getting qualified as a controller is the hard part.

You have to be able to multitask, memorize tons of rules and airspace maps, handle stress and take verbal abuse from your type-A personality co-workers while safely guiding hundreds of planes full of people through the skies above New York.

If you have the type of personality that would thrive in that environment, then take a crack at it. Keep an eye on the FAA jobs web site, the NATCA web site and call NY TRACON to get a tour sometime. They'd be happy to show you around the place because they desperately need people to work there. Staffing is horrendous right now.


[–]_Last_Man_Standing_12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'll cut short an very long story:

What is the definition of love? (male)
hard question... yes..?
It's easier to go at it from a different angle --> What is the emotion opposite of love?
it's not hate... hate is only the product of love/pain...

after a lot of thought I found the answer: fear is the opposite of love...!

remember? when falling in love what is keeping you away? fear of giving in... isn't it?
fear is easy to define:

fear = self-preservation system evolution gave us
if fear is the opposite of love and fear is self-preservation then:
love = self-destruction system evolution gave us because we are a social animal and it is sometimes beneficial to sacrifice for loved ones...

how does it work?
3 stages:

  1. loved up feeling when all is nice and rainbows and unicorns and vaginas
  2. an image that hurts (it's always an image that hurts) that has the purpose of bypassing the self-preservation system (fear) and make you get to the 3rd stage
  3. sacrifice = love


- 100,000 years ago... you are sitting in a cave with your female and your baby...

- bear comes in the cave...

- your fear tells you to run while the bear eats your family...

- you get an mental image of the bear eating your family...

- the image hurts so bad that your fear is forgotten from all the pain of the image...

- you jump on the bear... and while the bear is eating you you can see your wife running away... you feel good...

- your baby survives and passes on the genes for love (self-sacrifice)

you are now at stage 2... your emotions are telling you to sacrifice (jump on the bear)...

it's easier to sacrifice than to breathe, live, eat, work,... ... ...
but it's not so easy... coz bear isn't there...

how it works in modern world you are sacrificing parts of your personality... (example: you would rather drink beer and wank ... but you'll go to work for your family...)


you are choosing how to sacrifice.! you are choosing what the bear is....!
you don't need to sacrifice for her... she maybe is the source of the image and the feelings... but the are YOUR feelings...
you can sacrifice for your self...!

in the everyday situations a person can't change who they are...
you can change your habits, or create new ones...
but when you are at the hurting stage of love... you can actually sacrifice parts of yourself and become a different man... it's an unique opportunity to use all this energy for you...

so decide what kind of man you want to be... and use the pain to do it...
it's up to you...

just know... you can't decide not to sacrifice... anything you do now it changing who you are... anything you do is sacrificing...

hope this makes sense...
tl;dr - you are in perfect position to make what ever you want from your life... don't waste it...!

[–]sleepykient4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

We are what we repeatedly do, therefore excellence is not an act, but a habit.

[–]xSickBoyx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Moving away from your mom's should be your only priority besides being physically healthy. Consider women as Pokemon, the more you progress by improving your own life, the better women you'll have access to.

Make an assessment of your life right now, what type of women are you attracting? What type of lifestyle can you offer and what will she bring to the table? You guys wanna Netflix or have dinner with your mom around? You can't attract prime women without the correct infrastructure.

  • Cigarettes=less money, less health. You should stop right now.
  • Stop dating for a while. Have fun if you can, there's no time for anything besides yourself right now
  • Never stop learning. Hit the books, meddle with tech or carpentry/home design if tangible stuff is your thing.
  • Depression/Anxiety = Can't say much. But if you go ''all in'' in yourself you won't have time. This is serious, you need to sort this one out by yourself unfortunately. Think about therapy, that could be money down the drain or an investment in yourself. If you stop smoking you can afford this.

The spiral goes as low as you want it to be. There's no point where life will say ''yeah, this guy's had enough''. It's your duty to take control. Stay good brother.

[–]epictetuslifts2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you can't afford to live there... move elsewhere? Has this really not come to your mind? Your profession should be able to pick up work anywhere. Go to a medium sized city that is cheaper to live (austin?), find some roomies on facebook nd start your life man. Or you'll be 40 still living with your mum. Do it now.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah I know. I’d like to stay in NY because there’s plenty of work around here. I guess I’m just scared to start somewhere new from zero. I question if I’ll even get a good job there and what if I don’t. What if my savings runs out. I question if I’ll even get used to it living in a different city. I just need to find motivation and go forward with my life somehow. I need a plan

[–]epictetuslifts 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You gonna live your life scared of every small thing that is going to happen? Sometimes in life you just need to say fuck it and just do it. In 10 years you may look back and be thankful you did so. All i know is that living with your mum at 27 is fucking awful. But you know what's worse? Living with your mum at 28. Change it.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man. I needed to hear that. Sometimes I wish I went to college and got a degree and was making 100k+

[–]bot2561 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey man, I doubt I can give you any good advice since I am still in the process of accepting the pill. However, you said u got no one to talk to and I very well know that feeling, after learning about the pill and how things really work, you enter into a world of loneliness cause there's oftentimes not many people that think the same way as we here on TRP do. The point is, if you need to have a chat with another guy who's on the red pill but not quite there yet, you can hit me up with a PM.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man I really appreciate it. I will try to send you a pm if I can figure out how to work this app. Yeah there isn’t many people to talk to that care. Everyone judges and loses respect for you when you feel in hole. That’s why I’d rather talk to a stranger

[–]Flozo221 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I felt exactly like this yesterday and honestly the best thing is to put yourself out there. For example, clubs (whether clubbing or clubs that you joining i.e. sports). Or it could be gaming and playing with friends online but remember to also improve in fitness, career wise, reading and this hobby will help you gain social skills.

Honestly it's hard when you're older because it feels like a barrier and something that you should've learned earlier but you just gotta put yourself out there and talk to people man. It definitely sucks but you just gotta do it.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man it’s a shitty feeling. I just went to the gym. I got a shitty workout in but I guess it’s better than nothing. It will get better but it’s not fun when mentally you’re not there

[–]chlorellamanna1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

50k is a lot jn other states. You should save up and relocate. Start browsing craigslist and Zillow and look for places in your free time while coming up with a plan. A lot of people wish they were in your shoes but are stuck or trapped in a shit apartment with a shit job and a couple of kids and a nagging wife or gf. Bro you need to see the picture. Watch some stoic videos and learn to un attach yourself from human beings. Be happy within before you ever worry about a woman.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice man. Happiness within first before anything. I’ve been trying to save up. It’s not that easy in Long Island. I do live with my mom but I still have to pitch in on rent and other expenses so it really isn’t easy to save

[–]sebastianconcept1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Pretend it exists and think on “what your guardian angel would like you to do in order to make his work of helping you easier”

It’s probably around something related on making yourself stronger in every possible way.

Then get up soldier. Whatever it is, do that job.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never thought about it like that. Thanks for the advice man. I appreciate it

[–]ReturnsOver 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Move out of NYC maybe?

2 birds one stone sort of deal, you get to keep more of your money in a city with a lower cost of living and if you've been living in NYC your whole life you get a chance to reinvent yourself properly without the environment hold habits were formed

I'm 22 and live at home (only another 3 months until I finish post-secondary), I went on an exchange in my 2nd year, came back and everyone told me I was super different. Yet I noticed as the semester went on I was beginning to backslide into hold habits/thoughts/mentalities/etc because of living with my family in the same house I have my whole life.

Then I did an internship in a different city for a summer and reinvented myself again, came back, more astoundment at ReturnsOver v3.0. Back slide again... Did another internship this summer and I didn't fully apply myself and get out of my comfort zone to the same level as other departures from home and so I became v3.2 of myself.

2 steps forward 1 step back

Gtfo of your hometown/city

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Wow that’s awesome man. You made it happen. You were motivated. I need to make a change you’re right. I need to get out of my hometown even if it’s not a big leap like to another state. But yes I also believe you completely change and become more independent when you get away from your family’s house

[–]rugged790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Try some out of state job applications. You're also gonna need money for expenses, deposit and first months rent. New York is a target-rich environment, but if you can't accumulate, you can't have fun.

As far as people to talk to, you gotta put yourself out there to make friends. I know, I know, New York. But new friends can give you another perspective on your shit.

[–]Granite_Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go hiking/camping by yourself on your vacation. It's very cathartic for me. Move out of Jew York to a State you can live on $50k/year in.

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I only make about 52-55k a year and that's enough to afford a house and live very comfortably in ohio.

Lose weight, you'll be happier.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

DL 440. Deadlift 440 lbs. Just a gym stat. I’m in shape.

[–]throwawayycheyeah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit I was skimming the post and just saw 440 lbs. Nice

[–]MantogeMan0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I'm in college and have nobody to talk to

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Whats up man. What’s your major?

[–]MantogeMan0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am in public management and leadership and the school I go to is really big and social and I'm not ugly or anything I just think I'm fucking autistic I can't really make friends and forget even keeping a conversation with a girl I just don't like to talk a lot and I rushed a fraternity and I thought it went really well and everything and the second time I went back people were telling me they were glad I came back and they remembered my name but I did something pretty stupid and I think it got me out of getting a bid and now I literally have nobody to talk to.

I hate my roommate with a passion because he can never just tell me the truth. He is extremely wealthy but he is a compulsive liar. Not even about stuff that matters.

My other 2 roommates both moved out this semester into fraternity houses so I don't really see them too often.

I am just a fucking loser but I feel like I look fucking fine like I think I am attractive but I'm a fucking incel dude I am autistic

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Alright seems like you’re also at a low point in your life. How old are you? I’ve met a compulsive liar before too. It was a girl. She was fucking retarded. Don’t worry about them. Don’t give them your attention.

Are you lifting heavy ? That helps with confidence. You start to look good and you feel good. If you’re having trouble with girls why don’t you start off with tinder. Game a few girls. Be outcome independent. That’s how I have the most success with girls. When I’m outcome independent and don’t care too much about what I say.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm 20 and in a much different situation than you, though empathize, especially with the anxiety and only child issue. I'm an only child, my parents don't get my anger with it and they never will. It fucking sucks, if I have kids I'll make sure they're never alone. Growing up with no blood-related friend to confide in or have fun with changes your life so much [for the worse], it's crazy. I've been lonely, long for a girlfriend / any friend at this point, and I'm sure it contributes to my depression.

[–]G4RRETT-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

i know this will be downvoted, but in addition to the standard self-improvement habits you should look into a short-term xanax prescription as it sounds like you have pretty severe anxiety right now. It will help elevate your mood and bring our appetite back if its your psychological state that is curbing it. Consider it.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I have been on Xanax when I was younger. Yes it’s a blessing and curse at the same time. It makes me feel so relaxed and I can make rational decisions. But it got to the point where one pill wasn’t doing anything anymore just like any other psych drug. So I abused it. Withdrawal was not fun. Ended in the ER

[–]G4RRETT0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I see. Do you have any advice for using it responsibly and avoiding addiction?

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am not a doctor. It’s a very addicting drug especially if you suffer from anxiety. It makes you feel calm and nothing feels better than not having anxiety. Doctors give it out these days like candy. They don’t want to get sued. The long term is not worth it man. Talk to a dr if you’re addicted. They’ll probably tell you to taper off it. Cold turkey can be dangerous

[–]_Last_Man_Standing_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

if you really need something to help with depression use low dose of magic mushrooms...
they really do wonders... without any bad side affects...

[–]ProFriendZoner-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Quit making excuses for yourself and own up to what's going on in your life. I see a lot of excuses in your post. I don't see any owning up. It's hard to make changes. But a year from now you can be the same person with the same problems or you can be on your way to a different and better you. The choice is yours and only yours to make.

Make the changes necessary.

440 pounds is way beyond obese.

That's a lot of emotional eating that you are doing to bury instead of deal with the emotions. Get professional help to deal with this. It's out of control.

You feel like it takes way longer to get yourself together than it does other people.

It does when you make excuses. What else are you going to do with your time?

I hope this ain't to harsh. Just trying to give you the bop upside the head to knock some sense into you. You CAN make a lot of changes to your life, but you can't do it when you're stuck making excuses. Action in scary, but again, in a year from now where do you want to be? That's all up to you.

You CAN do it, IF you WANT to.

[–]Trpthrowaway0719[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

DL 440 = deadlift 440 lbs. just some gym stats man. I’m not 440 pounds I promise you that. I wouldn’t be able to text this on an iPhone if I was that obese. But yes change is necessary in life you’re right

[–]ProFriendZoner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry my bad. Glad to hear it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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