PLEASE HELP husband says hes not physically attractive to me and has come to conclusion of divorce

findme50 · 2019-02-11T00:35:32+00:00

I think he has forgotten that a marriage is a vow. A vow that you make to work through problems and there are a lot that come in life. I’ve been married 20+years and our marriage has gone through a death of a child, health problems, severe money problems, long distance moves, dead bedrooms. So after only a few years and he’s ready to call it quits already 🤷‍♀️ I don’t think it would have survived for the long distance anyways.

But.... let him sit for a bit and think this out. Maybe he’s just jumping to an end quickly and might walk back soon. But in the meantime get some counselling for yourself and work on your own stuff to make a better person. If you have done what you can to solve the problem and get better than all you can do is wait. You can’t change anybody but yourself.

TrexBreeder · 2019-02-11T00:27:38+00:00

Just like with new born babies and their mothers skin to skin contact does a lot. If you can’t have sex you could still be naked together and do something fun. Sex is important for intimacy , but if you can’t have sex you should at least do intimate things.

WonderWomanxoxo · 2019-02-11T03:56:10+00:00

Get off of hormonal birth control and onto natural family planning. Hormonal birth control is disastrous. Also, find a good naturopathic doctor who will help you fix your hormones (esp thyroid) before you start taking Testosterone.

findme50 · 2019-02-11T04:12:31+00:00

Your post is lacking a lot of details that would have made our replies more helpful. A lot of things have been left out.

What I’m reading from your replies is that you are having sex. But just not enough? Or just not enough PIV?
You are the full time bread winner? Pay all the bills? He suffers from depression for over a year?

If I’m correct (I’m a little confused still) in what I’m reading and this is true than this is a much bigger problem then what the “convo” was about. Yeah, I’m thinking this isn’t a quick fix and you both need to be working and talking. If he’s not coming to the table with his faults and problems in this relationship then he’s trying to get out of this marriage cause he doesn’t want to work on himself,

Cloud_Riverdale · 2019-02-11T00:56:41+00:00

He feels really, really rejected by you. Even if it's just the hormones and not you intentionally.

From the "For her eyes only" they're emphatic (and correct) that for men, Sex is Love. No sex means he doesn't feel loved.

At a more primitive level, it makes men innately insecure if they're not making love to you regularly. Their monkey brain says "if I'm not doing her, some other chode must be making regular deposits... She must be getting it somewhere else." Or it can be "I must be unworthy of her."

Men want to feel loved, and he hasn't been feeling that.

Question: Is he asking for sex and you're saying no? Or is he expecting you to initiate?

teaandtalk · 2019-02-11T06:49:12+00:00

The last thing he told me was that he would be lying if he said he didn't want us to work it out.

This is a good thing. He wants to work things out. So it's time to do so.

Have you apologised? Have you said to him "I am sorry for rejecting you so much over the last year. I know that it has hurt you, but I want to make it up to you."?

From what I'm seeing of your responses here, you're doing a lot of blaming this on the hormones. I understand your point, but it feels like an excuse and I would try really hard not to mention that to him so much.

yes_kid · 2019-02-11T17:33:09+00:00

Why did you continue to use this method of birth control for so long, despite noticing its adverse effects?

TrexBreeder · 2019-02-11T00:14:08+00:00

He doesn’t need you to have a sex drive just sex. Giving even if your not “ into it “ would have gone a long way. Or at least something similar.

Ya know as they say “ keep his stomach full and his balls empty”.

MissNietzsche · 2019-02-11T05:18:56+00:00

Yikes! I had Nexplanon removed after just two months because of the lack of sex drive and the insane mood swings. I moved onto Paraguard, and aside from initial pain, it's amazing.

You really shouldn't have allowed a dead bedroom, tbh. That's like the main tenet of red pill..

If you want to salvage it, you're going to have to act fast and change immediately. First step is actually having sex with him.

IUsedToBeAFed · 2019-02-11T03:03:45+00:00

Sex is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to men. So at first, get in the shower or bath together, use a lot of soap, washing, touching and kissing. Then put on the TV, and maybe watch some porn, then, if you are still not turned on, just pretend to you are in a Hollywood movie, and just act out the scenes you remember.

Then find a Physician who is experienced in Hormone Therapy, and make sure you are prescribed with Testosterone. along with other hormones which will help with this problem.

PS I am not sure what you mean by the term "convo."

Title	PLEASE HELP husband says hes not physically attractive to me and has come to conclusion of divorce
Author	WonderWomanxoxo
Upvotes	6
Comments	37
Date	February 10, 2019 11:59 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/apa62t/please_help_husband_says_hes_not_physically/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/please-help-husband-says-hes-not-physically.215477 https://theredarchive.com/post/215477

Comments