666,886 posts

Wife Checking on Where I Am

by ChokingDownRP | March 16, 2019 | askMRP

29 upvotes

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Going to make this quick. Age 40, married 13 yrs, together 18. 3 kids under 8. I'm in a good place progress-wise. Unplugged in Jan 2018. Read all the material. I've lost 50 lbs, added muscle, wife aims to please, IOIs from other women, flirt in front of her as often as possible with desired results. Doing great at work, owning shit at home, going out and enjoying life.

Went out for a beer with my brother in law (he's married to wife's sister) this week after we had had a small argument earlier that day, she had been harpy, I had better things to do, etc. Reset the next day, all seemed well...

Fast forward to today (3 days later), wife asked me to fix something on her phone. I open it up and it's on her text thread with her sister and I read her sister saying "seems they were together, or at least mine says so." I scroll up, read her original message to her sister where she basically was checking to see if my story checks out about where we had gone, asking her to check my "story" against her husband's etc... Their collective hamsters were out of control. She didn't really ask me anything about the evening other than where we went and how much I drank...I complained that I was slow getting up the next day.

Anyway - I get that it's dread that causes her to ask my whereabouts... But why not just ask me? Do I need to offer more comfort, or just STFU and keep my foot on the gas? I like that she recognizes that I could get strange, but don't necessarily like that she thinks I may actually be doing so. Worry less about what she thinks, since I've done absolutely nothing wrong? New territory for me, just wanted some thoughts.


Post Information
Title Wife Checking on Where I Am
Author ChokingDownRP
Upvotes 29
Comments 36
Date 16 March 2019 01:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/222205
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/b1sp5q/wife_checking_on_where_i_am/
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Comments

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret52 points53 points  (3 children) | Copy

And this is a problem? I will offer you my congratulations. DREAD achieved. Nice work.

In this scenario, you STFU and do nothing different. DREAD is the healthy undercurrent in the relationship. It doesn’t mean you are cheating or that you will cheat. But, it is always in the back of her mind, “what if some 20 year old hot chick puts some moves on my man while he is away?” It’s competition anxiety and it pushes her to wrap her lips around your cock to “remind” you she is still there.

You are wise to keep your eye out for comfort tests as these will increase the harder you push DREAD. Comfort should only go as far as to let her know that if she does her part in the relationship she has nothing to worry about, but as a man with options she can always be replaced.

Keep on the gas and provide comfort if she comes seeking it from you. Don’t be uncomfortable because she is uncomfortable.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good stuff, thanks.

[–]RedPillCoach3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would recommend doing some Sex God Method very, very soon.

[–]z2a1-95 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s competition anxiety and it pushes her to wrap her lips around your cock to “remind” you she is still there.

The truth

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

But why not just ask me?

Because she knows it's the hamster, she knows it's crazy, and she doesn't want you to know she's jealous/worried. To admit these things would be to give you more power in the relationship.

Don't get complacent. Instead, keep on the program and monitor her so you don't over-dread (i.e. add comfort in metered doses).

EDIT: Oh, and in this particular instance, you had argued earlier in the day, so you were elsewhere. She probably realized her role in being shitty, and the dread made her think you might be interviewing new vendors, as it were.

[–]jacknifejones7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy MRPs

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff, thank you.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hamsters gonna hamster.

Try not to think about it too much. Women will always talk. If she has something to say, she can say it.

And don't bring it up. Keep foot on gas. Rinse and repeat.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I haven't said a word and won't unless she directly asks. I have pretended I didn't see anything and have offered no info on my whereabouts that night.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Was literally going to just leave it at “hamsters gonna hamster “

[–]helaughsinhidden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me 2

[–]Middle_Aged_Child16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d generally take that as a good sign that things are working.

[–]boy_named_su6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy thinks women should communicate overtly lol

Dude, you're doing it right. Anxiety makes their cooters moist

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.04 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

But why not just ask me?

This is the hamster game all women play. You have to act like you don't care even though you do. As much as women say marriage isnt about power, it is.

My wife did this exact scenario this weekend. I made plans with my brother this weekend. My brother is older, single, doctor etc. He is a natural alpha. My wife always goes full hamster when I hang out with him. I met him for his birthday. I get home late and the next day no questions about the night before, until there were. Throughout the day she sets up questions to dig about the night before that seem nonchalant but I can see what they are. I can also see her hamster going off the rails over it. I let her spin away for a while and then finally wait till all the kids are occupied and fuck her silly. No more questions.

​

[–]0io-Tsundere4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Her checking up on you is a good thing. She sees you getting in shape, wearing new clothes, going out on your own... naturally she's going to wonder if you've got a young girlfriend or are having a "midlife crisis" or something.

​

Keep your foot on the gas. If she's crying and losing sleep and convinced that you're cheating on her then you'd be wanting to apply more comfort. But if she's just asking her sister, "Hey, is he really out fishing with your husband? What are the boys really up to?" then everything is working great. Soon (if all goes well) she should start getting in better shape herself and dressing / acting sexier for you in an effort to chase you a little bit and make sure you stick around.

​

Keep up the good work!

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Soon (if all goes well) she should start getting in better shape herself and dressing / acting sexier for you in an effort to chase you a little bit and make sure you stick around.

I hope so, so far she's only talked about it a lot. My SMV is a good 2 points above hers at this point.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to Married Game.

Let that hamster run wild. It’s feelzing the dread.. and now sniffing out the competition.

That’s why she’s aiming to please you. Every relationship needs a healthy dose of dread. Makes everyone happy. If she’s behaving, give her a little comfort.

You’re finally getting what you always wanted so shut the fuck up.

[–]mrpthrowa4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy

Why is this phasing you so much?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Because he hasn’t swallowed the pill yet.

Mommy is checking up on him and hurt his feelz.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

I'm thinking this is kinda the other way. He's seeing some dread and he's all giddy.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably more this, but mostly just want to make sure I'm not oblivious to comfort seeking. She adds value - good mom, good in the sack, pulls her weight around the house, etc. I'm glad the 1k ft rope tightened for her, but should it slacken, I'm prepared to cut it.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

That too. But OP said that he can’t believe his wife would actually think he’s cheating on her..... he’s mad at her.

He follows the rules, plays the game, gets results, and now he’s all butt hurt because he finally sees the true nature of women.. and starts questioning everything. Faggot was close to confronting her.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

OP said that he can’t believe his wife would actually think he’s cheating on her

Where?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

“But why not just ask me?”

She’s isn’t going to outright ask you..yet. Her hamster is sniffing its little nose... But it’s coming soon. She’ll disguise a comfort test as a shit test and accuse you of cheating. Get ready.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Haven't had a main event yet, but it probably is coming. I'm ready if/when it does.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Did she start letting you nut in her mouth on the regular yet?

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only once since the great "came in her mouth" crisis of ’18, and she didn't complain about it. Most BJs are foreplay...even during shark week. Fucking during shark week used to be off the menu, recently it's been at least once per cycle, if I want it. I also haven't fucked her in the ass yet if you're planning to read my entire post history to ask similar questions.

PS: take my upvote, faggot.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women do love Nancy Drew. This is not a problem this is a sign that she is invested. Ignore.

As a sidenote... both my wife and I have Google location sharing turned on as I am a "safety freak". I'm sure she checks when she wants. I don't really care and it saves a text or call.

[–]RedPillCoach2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do I need to offer more comfort, or just STFU and keep my foot on the gas?

That depends on what you want. Your choice.

I think that sounds....right.

Why don't you?

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can't argue with the wisdom in that post. It really is that simple on this and most any other situation in life.

I do still find myself being a "nice guy" at times. My first thought when I read the text was "cool, that's solid dread" and smirked...but my nice guy hamster turned it to "I wouldn't like it if I were worried that she's actively cheating on me"... I need to remember that her thoughts and feelings are hers to deal with...no matter how wildly hamstered they may be.

[–]Imaginary_Historian0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You need to stop going through her phone. The only thing that does is drive you crazy, gets your own hamster wheel turning. I think the true RP man doesn't give two shits about what's in his wife's phone or what she talks about with her friends, sister or whoever. So just keep doing as you do and STFU.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

She gave me her (new) phone to set up text voice mail...I haven't looked at her phone otherwise in over a year. Only looked at it because it was right there... Though I did choose to read the prior conversation after seeing the one text. I definitely used to care where she went, what she did and with whom, but I honestly do not give a shit about that anymore. If she wanted to cheat, she would. If she wants to talk shit about me, she will. I just haven't experienced her being legitimately concerned about me cheating... She's only "joked" about it in the past (though I always knew there was a hint of truth in her "jokes"). I just don't know where the line is between effective passive dread and her actually thinking I'm fucking around on her...and where I need to become concerned about it. I think one of the other replies nailed it, saying she'll be crying and directly ask if I'm cheating when it's time to provide comfort.

[–]Tbonesupreme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only time you should worry about her thinking you might be cheating is if you're cheating and don't want to get caught

[–]Redpillbrigade17-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

You haven’t unplugged.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bitch please

[–]thatboyjeff3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The dread is working.

/thread



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