I went ape shit about 10 days ago about being rejected (yes I have learned from it, been doing stfu and idgaf since), still ended up having sex with my wife that weekend (2-3 days later) first session was fun, second was semi-starfish (she orgasmed both times though). After reading more and more about stfu and idgaf, I initiated on Wednesday night and got a soft no (she's never stern about it, just brushes it off, tired, not in the mood, etc) so I said okay, goodnight, gave her a kiss and turned over, went to sleep. She hamstered for a bit and then went to sleep.
Last night we went out for dinner and I got a bottle of wine. We got home, sat on the balcony for awhile and had a really fun convo about us first meeting, etc. (first fun and real convo in awhile with her). We got ready for bed and I initiated sex, was soft no'd, say okay all good, started watching tv, 5 min passed and I said okay goodnight, gave her a kiss and turned over. Her hamster was on overdrive. I could sense her looking at me and trying to figure out the sudden change in me.
Some time goes by and she starts touching me and trying to initiate (trying to keep me in her frame) and asked if I still wanted to fool around. At first I said nah, I don't want her to do it just to do it, if she's only doing it for me. I resisted a bit more, but she actually wanted it badly now. I let the resistance last a few more min and then I cave manned her. Went down on her, even tho she wanted a quickie (10 pm at night, early work the next morning). I also got a bj, which isn't an every time thing. It was semi-starfish sex, but I made her flip over so I could rail her doggy style ( she was resisting it at first, but I forced it). Then flipped her over on her back and she was telling me to fuck her hard, so I took this as a challenge and literally tried to break her. She noticed how aggressive I was being and although she said to slow down, she def enjoyed being dominated. I eventually slow down, got her to orgasm.
Now here is my question: I initiate and get turned down. 5 min or so later She initiates (her trying to maintain her frame), I resist for a bit saying I'm not in the mood anymore. I finally agree and I initiate it and try to fuck her really hard since she resisted me to begin with. As she was initiating, I kept thinking that I should stick to my guns and continue to say nah not interested (to maintain my frame), but I had a loaded gun (no fap and no sex for several days or so) and also a decent amount of wine in me. I know I probably should have stuck with my guns, but I didn't. In order for me to stay dominant, I demanded positions that she didn't want to do. This is the first time ever that I resisted sex from her, so I think it was completely new to her. I'm going to continue to react the way I do when she turns me down, but did I fuck up by agreeing to sex? If it happens again, should I completely resist, not interested, turned off, etc? I keep seeing mixed ideas on this. Some people say don't deny sex and others say maintain frame 100%.
I know I played into her hand a bit, but I feel like this was somewhat of a break through moment for me. I think the best thing that I got out of this was identifying each step of the situation. I have a long road ahead of me and a lot to learn, but I overall feel great that I was able to dissect this situation and learn from it.