Is it weird/unladylike to read a book at a bar?

saintofbacchus · 2019-07-08T04:20:36+00:00

Oh I do this a lot. Very lady like, has gotten me hit on a number of times.

StroopyLoopy · 2019-07-08T04:49:48+00:00

I’m a girl and I don’t like bars really but I read pretty much everywhere I go. I just usually have a book in my bag and I pull it out when I have a few free mins

queener_beaner · 2019-07-08T05:21:53+00:00

I used to work at a brewery and had a number of gentleman come in and simply read books at the bar. I’d chat with them if they seemed open to it, but sometimes it gave off a “don’t interrupt me” vibe. A crossword or reading the paper is much more approachable when it comes to terms of entertaining yourself solo while also trying to be social.

voicicoco · 2019-07-08T04:35:26+00:00

I’ve found reading at a bar to be a great conversation starter, but that may also depend on the type of establishment.

Kara__El · 2019-07-08T13:41:39+00:00

As a librarian, I read pretty much everywhere. I always have my Kindle in my purse and would be more crushed to lose it than my phone, so I'm definitely in the "Yay books!" camp. That being said, I think this is something that we women might think looks one way, but it really looks another.

Reading often makes someone appear unapproachable, so if you're going for male attention, I'm not sure you'll get it. Depending on the atmosphere, I'd definitely say you risk looking either disinterested in your environment (my husband has a no reading at rodeos rule now) or even a bit pretentious. The exception here, of course, is that some microbreweries have more of a coffee shop feel, that welcomes pretention... but you're still sending "Don't bother me, I'm reading" signals. I'm not sure how people feel this is a good conversation starter. That's like saying wearing headphones invites someone to ask about your music. It just doesn't.

All things considered, though, if you're reading in microbreweries, because that's what you like to do, go for it! Just understand that it doesn't necessarily send an inviting message.

Cumber_Cookie · 2019-07-08T07:07:56+00:00

What a lovely idea! Enjoy yourself! I’d love to see more classy, well educated people out at places like this. Often, I feel that places which used to be for special occasions and a kind of classy atmosphere like the symphony or ballet are now doing away with any kind of dress code and half of the crowd comes in jeans or sweatpants and flip-flops. I was in a floor length gown seated behind a crowd in sweats at the symphony last week... and it was a little bit of a let down. Everything is so casual now and there are so few things left to be classy for. (I am by no means suggesting that if you can’t afford formal wear, you should not enjoy attending the symphony. Everyone is welcome.) I feel that putting in some effort and leaving the house feeling great is wonderful for all of our self esteem and makes everyone feel special. I’d like to see more of it. Also, more people reading, LOL.

My apologies for the only half related rant.

alphatruth · 2019-07-08T07:08:03+00:00

I wouldn’t say it’s unladylike, but I’ve never understood how anyone can read a book in a bar in the first place. There’s so much going on. It definitely seems like a ploy for attention whenever I see it(34M Bartender).

But, if it’s a “great conversation-starter” like someone previously mentioned and you genuinely enjoy it, then go for it.

raspberryjam1 · 2019-07-09T16:11:25+00:00

I agree that it’s a bit weird. Even classy bars tend to be loud and dark and are meant for socializing sans book so you’ll look a little out of place which opens you up to negative/positive interpretation based on the viewer’s temperament and life experience. However, if I saw a man I thought was attractive reading a book in a bar I do think it would increase my chances of talking to him simply because it would give me an intro. I met my husband at a party. I was introduced to him by a mutual acquaintance (now friend) initially, but started talking to him more because he was gorgeous AND sitting in the kitchen by himself while everyone else was outside or downstairs socializing, eating burgers, drinking beer, etc. I probably would have been more intimidated and not approached him if he wasn’t the handsome friendly lone gazelle. That said, I’m a reader and knitter and I’ve found men do approach me more with a book or a project in my hand. Knitting might actually be great for you/for a bar patio because it comes across as a little less antisocial while also looking creative, feminine, skilled, and domestic. Plus, it still gives you something to do with your mind and hands, but leaves you a little more open. Something to consider!

aussiedollface2 · 2019-07-08T07:19:06+00:00

It’s a no from me, but I feel like this may be highly situation and location-dependant xo

TheFakestMoFo · 2019-07-17T09:38:58+00:00

I've always wondered about doing this (or reading in several other public areas like a cafe) and thought it would make me look like I did it on purpose to appear "intelligent and interesting" or whatever, while also being antisocial. I like the idea of it though, would be interested to hear about your experiences if you give it a go.

Whisper · 2019-07-11T18:57:07+00:00

Weird yes, unladylike no.

This probably a good idea because it offers a conversation starter for people you wish to talk to, and an excuse not to talk to people you don't.

YouNeverKnowAnyone · 2019-07-08T08:09:51+00:00

Nah, makes you look like you're the good girl there. At least as good as you can look being at a bar.

girlwithabike · 2019-07-08T04:20:27+00:00

Yes, it would come across as a very snooty/rude. People go to a bar to socialize, not to just read a book that's what a library is for.

Title	Is it weird/unladylike to read a book at a bar?
Author	StroopyLoopy
Upvotes	38
Comments	23
Date	July 8, 2019 4:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/caga74/is_it_weirdunladylike_to_read_a_book_at_a_bar/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-it-weirdunladylike-to-read-a-book-at-a-bar.244804 https://theredarchive.com/post/244804

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