How do I lose my feelings toward an FWB when they've already developed?

newtothepill123 · 2019-07-12T14:13:21+00:00

Sounds like he is already in love... My suggestion is to pull back. Text her less, see her less, fuck other girls etc until your emotional investment with her decreases. Nothing worse than catching feelings for someone that you know is only FWB/plate material - can really mess with your head.

LeatherBoundWisdom · 2019-07-12T14:33:41+00:00

The classic negative visualization of stoicism may help here. Visualize losing the thing that you are attached to and then not caring. Imagine, for example, her dying, her fucking other dudes, her losing all her pleasant personality, her giving you a LJBF rejection, or you losing all emotional pleasure you have from her. Prepare solutions for those realities and jump to the acceptance stage of grief in considering them. Don't just do this in your head, either. Write down each scenario in which the thing you're attached to is lost. Write, then, the solution of how you'll move forward and why you'd be totally fine with it. If you do this, you won't give two shits what happens to her or your relationship, it will all be "been there, done that".

Chadster113 · 2019-07-12T14:15:56+00:00

Spin more plates?

dontbeanasshole777 · 2019-07-12T17:34:46+00:00

Or, if don't mind the sacrifice, you ask her to be your gf, fall in love and have a taste of a relationship. There will probably be a lot of pain when it breaks.

redpilllogin · 2019-07-12T21:34:25+00:00

You have a finite amount of feelings, let's say 100. It you find another girl, then you'll split them and only have 50 for each. Of you find a 3rd girl it will be 25 each, or however you chose to distribute them. Could be 10, 20, 70. My point is the more you spread them the less they will be concentrated on a single woman. The way I do it is give myself 70 and spend the remaining 30 among several girls.

ili_lost_MC · 2019-07-12T13:46:47+00:00

The fucks wrong wirh you? Being emotionally attached to people and caring about them isn't a disease. So long as you don't fall in love you have notting to worry about.

the13thmonk · 2019-07-12T16:38:32+00:00

Depending on the depth of your feelings it may make sense to break it off entirely and just find another FWB.

Is it a shame to lose a perfectly good FWB? Sure. Is it better than developing feelings for the wrong individual? immensely.

Lateralanouncer · 2019-07-12T20:39:00+00:00

Im assuming you have fallen in loovvve with a. Slut. This is very dangerous for your future if you don’t handle it properly. Nothing wrong with having feelings for a person but the reality is, when she gives herself to you it means nothing. her smv is set my the value she gave it away for. I would suggest when you have sex always remind yourself that her giving herself to you means absolutely nothing, her cheating on you means nothing. and you should fuck hard hard like the slut she is and enjoy your turn.

69weed420 · 2019-07-12T14:08:21+00:00

Become busier. Abundance abundance abundance. You could also try and soft next her unless you see her regularly.

Shieldless_One · 2019-07-12T17:00:56+00:00

What helped me is just pretending not to care. It will suck but if you make a consistent conscious effort to ignore her and pretend she doesnt exist, eventually you will actually not care

boy_named_su · 2019-07-12T19:43:55+00:00

Eat her out when she's bleeding. Watch her poop. Read her dms or journal

Thor-Loki-1 · 2019-07-12T21:00:22+00:00

So, you're saying that once "feelings" are established, you cannot change how you view a person--any person?

Imagine her banging the basketball team. Or your dad. No, seriously, make that a reality. I'm sure you wouldn't "feel" the same way.

Be disciplined and stop being a pussy.

AnonUser1005 · 2019-07-12T21:11:15+00:00

i dont get this whole "feelings are bad and you shouldnt have them"-culture on this sub. We are humans and feelings are a big part of our life. Accept it and enjoy it. Why would you want to lose feelings to a person you like? you have two options here: 1. Reduce contact, so you lose the feelings but possibly lose the person or 2. accept the feelings and do more with said person, feelings will prob increase and if you lose her it will hurt. Either way, there is risk, so you have to choose which of those prices to pay.

korlayn12 · 2019-07-12T22:13:23+00:00

Why isn’t she good potential for A LTR?

chazthundergut · 2019-07-13T06:09:47+00:00

The main thing is to stop giving her any non-sexual attention.

Call her up for sex, but that is it. Dont spend any time with her outside of sex, dont take her out on dates, dont spend time talking with her on the phone, etc.

If you find this too difficult, then you need to take the Loss and next her. Good luck

[deleted] · 2019-07-13T15:29:35+00:00

Cut all contact. Aversion therapy. You're in too deep.

bigflagellum · 2019-07-24T04:15:41+00:00

Based off a similar experience I’d break it off. Because eventually she’ll do it for you if you don’t and you’ll feel better if you do it. Maybe she’ll even come running to you

jim1564 · 2019-07-12T15:36:24+00:00

Meet and fuck more girls, spread your attention between all of them so you don't have a weak spot. Never put all of your eggs in one basket

ElijahBurningWoods · 2019-07-12T14:23:39+00:00

I'll tell you what worked for me.

If you have her on social media, you should hide her stories. Try and get in touch with other women. As stated by other members, abundance is key here.

Work on yourself: spend more time with your friends, go to the gym, find a hobby, ...

eco979 · 2019-07-12T16:30:21+00:00

Make a list of all the things you hate, dislike or despise about her. Read that list first thing in the morning, last thing before falling asleep,and always when younger the feelz

done_with_it_all_ · 2019-07-12T20:18:27+00:00

You caught feelings for a girl who’s basically just a human masturbating device? Get a grip lmfao

Title	How do I lose my feelings toward an FWB when they've already developed?
Author	groomsmen123
Upvotes	55
Comments	53
Date	July 12, 2019 12:51 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ccag9m/how_do_i_lose_my_feelings_toward_an_fwb_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-lose-my-feelings-toward-an-fwb-when.245260 https://theredarchive.com/post/245260

Comments