An interesting thing happened to me the other day. Like many of you, I was once a beta orbiter to a girl. I wanted to share my story of reaching escape velocity, and how red pill awareness is allowing me to accurately see behaviors for what they are today. Hopefully some of the newer guys will get inspiration or something useful out of it. This is a ramble for sure.

This girl is the relationship equivalent to the obsessive deer hunter – always trying to bag the biggest buck she could find. She had relatively few truly romantic relationships, but ALWAYS a soft harem of beta orbiters to do her whim, though usually favoring one in particular at a time. I was perhaps her largest buck caught, and she kept my bust mounted on her mantle the longest. I had always had a defiant streak and a strong spine, but ultimately put everyone else’s needs before my own. I think a combination of 70% beta 30 % alpha was the key to such a long streak as orbiter #1.

She was always very flirtatious. Her almost insidious bait was that, due to being an extremely religious girl, she was (and to my knowledge is) still a virgin. The instinctual appeal of a virgin can be intoxicating to the unsuspecting beta. Of course, as you all know, good girls ‘do’, and she got around the technicality of premarital sex being a sin by doing other sex acts with those she truly felt alpha enough (obviously I nor other orbiters saw any of that action). From what I can tell, these alpha flings were fleeting, relatively rare, but happened consistently every so often. Once a year or so. These were highly correlated with stressful and otherwise especially emotional periods of her life.

Our relationship would usually go along the lines of me slowly physically escalating with her over the course of months, until eventually she would ‘feel like we were acting too much like a couple’ and bail on the relationship for a few months. Invariably, she’d have a fling with some guy who could take her emotions for a ride, and when that fizzled out (she seemed to like them to burn bright and hot, and be over fast) eventually she’d contact me again. We’d get to talking again. And my weakness, thirst, and lack of awareness would pull me back under.

Like many of you still, I found out about the manosphere and such in the mid to late 2000’s. I first found /r/seduction, and then /r/TheRedPill after they split about 2 years ago. My eyes were opened. I applied what I was reading to our relationship with surprisingly positive results. Eventually, like clockwork, she decided we were too much like a couple, and bailed again. When, like clockwork, she came back a month or so later, I laid the groundwork for how our relationship was going to go, or I wasn’t interested. I would get the sexual intimacy that I needed, or we were going to have a real friendship based upon mutual interest and reciprocity—no more free beta bucks. She was not interested in either. For the first time, I didn’t chase after her.

A little over a year later (aka: the other day), I get a surprise message from the deer hunter. She ‘doesn’t know how we can reconcile our differences’ but she wants me to know that she ‘still loves me and is thinking about me’.

Translation: I just got out of a string of relationships that were one emotional roller coaster after another, and I want my beta bucks back.

No thanks.

I let her know that I knew what my needs were, and that my terms had not changed. Here’s where another nefarious tactic comes in. Via her various messages, she tries to hint that she wants me back into her life, tries to bait me into falling into her frame of what our relationship can be again, tries to trick me into thinking that she wants a positive stable person in her life, and is banking on my protective instincts and thirst to make me convince myself that I want to be a play that role. None of this is said overtly, but rather I am conveniently left opportunities to reciprocate and fall back to my old ways in conversation. Tons of power talk/doublespeak/read between the lines shit going on.

What saved me, and the message that I wanted to share, is as follows:

-By having knowledge of the realities of the sexual marketplace, I was able to finally accurately identify her AF/BB behavior for what it was, and saw through her ploys to get me back as a BB. I know the roles of AF, and have laid that down as the only door open now.

-I have laid down my terms. As long as I remember them, remind her that I haven’t forgotten of them, and most importantly stick to my words, I will have won the biggest battle of them all: holding frame. As long as my terms are honest and aligned with my goals, and as long as I stick with them, I cannot lose in an interaction with her or anyone else. This is the true power of frame.

-She’s well into her late twenties, and the wall approaches quickly. Her behaviors is likely to get more desperate in the future. In fact, she’s going on vacation to a foreign country. I have a bizarre suspicion that she’s going to have a sob story for me when she gets back. If not when she gets back, she will have a sob story for me in 8 months. Again, red pill knowledge gives me foresight. I’m almost curious what other traps and lures she has up her sleeve.

-Knowledge of how women operate has made my responses natural and easy. When in doubt hold frame. Otherwise, it can be fun to use power talk to subtly imply possibilities. I have been friendly, honest, and non-judgmental, but I am rigid in my frame. This creates comfort but also anxiety. She must be re-interpreting everything I said a million different ways.