An idea had occurred to me long, long, ago in a galaxy far, far, away....

The Problem

The US in particular now seems to have a problem with incels. Not all of them (although, god knows, they're all annoying in one way or another) but a specific subset of them.

These are the incels who have made a decision to run amok in the psychological/sociological definition of the term.

Like many young males (it's always young males) in human history, they find themselves in an unwinnable situation relationship/sexual access wise. Too ugly, low status, low dominance to secure access to females. Like many of their brethren throughout history this has induced a pattern of behaviour in them where they

a) Get terribly pissed off at society

b) Brood about that a lot (in the modern era assisted in that brooding by other incels crab bucketing them and egging them on with the hopelessness of it all whilst telling them to "doooo eeeeet").

c) Eventually deciding life is not worth living, and to go out in a revenge-suicide fantasy taking (typically) about 15 innocents with them on the way out by shooting up a school or otherwise engaging in a rampage or spree killing

I was discussing with /u/skookumtree this phenomena when he challenged me to propose a solution other than the traditional one of "pointing them in the direction of the tribe next door, handing them a spear, and telling them to come back with a head mounted on it and a 'wife' being dragged back to their hut by the hair". (Skookum bears NO responsibility whatsoever for what is about to unfold).

The Approach

Faced with a need to find a solution that more closely conformed to modern morality I took it on as a Gedanken Experiment. Attempting to find a solution that

a) Benefitted the incels

b) Benefitted the rest of society

c) Involved the smallest possible change to our current moral structure.

The Solution

Ladies and Gentleman I would like to introduce you to....

The First Inaugural Elliot Rodgers Memorial Games.

The rules are as follows;

  1. Every participant must be a volunteer and sign a full waiver showing they are fully aware of what they are signing onto.
  2. Every participant must be never-married, have no dependents/children and have no formal military experience.
  3. It takes place (as is traditional) in a High School Setting (mercifully an abandoned high school in the middle of a hot state).
  4. 20 volunteers may enter, but only 1 may leave and claim the prize (although there can be a safety line 2x rifle shot distance from the school over a cleared area that "second thoughters" can use to escape the games at the cost of forfeiting the prize, if they don't get shot on the way out).
  5. Every participant gets to take 3 days worth of food/water. Unlimited small arms. Unlimited ammunition. As is traditional, for preference stolen from their uncle's gun cabinet.
  6. All participants have to agree to wear a helmet cam for the duration, and camera's will also be set in strategic locations in the arena.
  7. Medical assistance/supplies within the game area is strictly forbidden as is enterring the area if you are not a participant.
  8. The pay-per-view, advertising, merchandise and pre-games interview rights are sold by a non-profit organization (the single winner retains his personal post-games interview rights). Once all expenses are deducted ALL remainder is split strictly 50:50 with the winner taking 50% and 50% going to a fund providing psychological support, relationship guidance, and free hookers to non-participating incels via the "Elliot Rodgers Charitable Foundation".

Thats the setup.

Quo Bono?

EVERYONE.

  • 19 of the 20 incels get their hearts desire. To go out in a blaze of notoriety and ill-earned fame with the entire world watching live on TV. They get the suicide they seem to crave, and no innocents are harmed in the production of this movie. They get everything they would have got from shooting up a school/going on a rampage.

  • 1 of the 20 incels gets his hearts desire AND MORE. He gets the fame/notoriety, a huge amount of money and status, proves his "risk taking" and "DGAF" credentials, and gets all the pussy a man could desire from the type of women that flock to send love letters to/marry serial killers and otherwise fucked up individuals. They get status, riches beyond their wildest dreams, and laid like tile once they crawl over the bloody bodies of their 19 former brethren.

  • Approximately 300 random innocent bystanders get their lives saved, and about 600 get not to suffer grievous wounds, greatly improving the quality of their lives. About 9000 relatives also get to live without having a love one ripped prematurely from them in a mass tragedy.

  • Society gets an entertainment spectacle that cannot be rivalled

  • Society gets a solution to their current "incels running amok" problem.

  • Society also gets to not have to listen to incels constantly whine to them how life/society is unfair and they're suicidal due to how terribly they are treated by women, and that all of the above is utterly hopeless and cannot be solved because every incel now has a means of solving his problem.... if he's got the balls to do it.

  • Finally, all incels without the stones to "dooooo eeeeeeet" now have a well capitalised foundation dedicated to helping them solve their problems with relationships. And free hookers.

There are no individual losers. 19 of the 20 incels get their hearts desire and are no worse off. 1 gets more than his hearts desire and is massively better off. All other incels get a foundation assisting them. Society gets to keep 900 productive members of society and gets some (pricey) entertainment into the bargain.

The drawbacks

Society has to, in this one restricted instance, and for good reason, condone some voluntary killing/suicide and live with the fact that they found the whole thing quite exciting and fun in a sick way.

As far as I can see, thats it drawback wise.

HENCE THE CMV.

As far as I can see this is watertight as a solution to incels, school/workplace/church shootings cause by young men run amok, and the lack of proper blood sports in todays society.