Why should men cry and ask for help?

Littleknownfacts · 2018-09-15T12:10:52+00:00

Post being removed for leading question.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2018-09-15T06:35:53+00:00

Forget it, if a man hates his job and has suicidal thoughts about it. He'll get told to suck it up and be a man. Men aren't allowed to not work.

Uhhh, what? I literally had a job that was killing me inside. When I complained about it to those close to me (family, SO, friends), they told me that I should quit and take some time to find something better. The people in my own life were nothing but helpful to me going through that, and through other tough times I have faced before. In fact, when I was temporarily unemployed, my SO probably cared about that fact less than I did.

This is just a sad post. As a man, I have never felt like I have to suppress my emotions or work in service of others. I have never felt like I can't get help for the issues I have had. Honestly, this speaks more to the fact that a lot of men are fucking awful at building a good support system around them.

Edit: The other important component, in my experience, is that I really don't care about whether people are judging me for expressing my emotions. Status and not being perceived as weak are not important to me at all, so I don't really feel burdened by those things, and instead, I can divert my attention to just being able to center myself mentally and emotionally. I'm generally an extremely stable person, even though I am expressive. If I am ever frustrated, sad, annoyed, or whatever, I snap back to a more or less default state very quickly.

Seriously though, the importance of support systems cannot be overstated. My relationships with my friends are ones of full transparency, and there have been many times I have talked my friends through their own difficult situations as well, even when it is something that is painful and fresh. Building that type of trust with those in your life serves you well.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-09-15T06:20:59+00:00

Crying would be counterproductive.

It would be helpful if men were encouraged to seek out help before it got to the point of being suicidal though yes.

Russelsteapot42 · 2018-09-15T05:19:39+00:00

It's catharsis theory

You say that as if you have reason to believe that catharsis is not psychologically useful. If so, present your evidence.

wtffellification · 2018-09-15T07:54:17+00:00

Because crying is good for the body and soul and because sometimes we have to be humble enough to admit that we can't do it by ourselves

Whodunnit88 · 2018-09-15T05:22:24+00:00

You ask for help without crying about it.

shoup88 · 2018-09-15T05:30:17+00:00

A man shouldn’t cry and ask for help unless he’s dealing with something where crying is socially acceptable, like the death of a loved one or your team losing the Super Bowl.

If your job is making you suicidal, ask for help before you get to the point where you’re that desperate. And if you think the solution is to just not work, that is not a real solution and of course won’t garner you any sympathy. People want to help those who are interested in helping themselves. It needs to be a team effort.

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ATastefulNude · 2018-09-15T08:10:12+00:00

I don't know about crying being especially beneficial. I've never found it especially therapeutic. I recently cried for the first time in about 2 years and I certainly didn't feel better when I was done. But if your mom dies or something, ya crying is normal.

Men should ask for help from professionals if they are having a mental health crisis. Dumping your problems on a friend or partner might help you feel less isolated, but it's unlikely to do much to solve your problem. Totally unloading on people close to you can have the opposite affect of making people want to avoid you. If you're struggling to the point that it's seriously affecting your life, ask for help from a medical doctor or mental heath professional. Who gives a fuck if people judge. There's no reason you need to tell anyone anyway. It's no one's business.

RedLeg13 · 2018-09-15T08:30:46+00:00

You only get so many tears as a man. You only get to cry for certain situations....and they diminish over time. By 30, society expects you to have your shit together and for you to "man up." Your boss, your SA, your kids are all looking to you to get it right, or fail and rebound with grace. It isn't that you cannot fail or be hurt as a man, but you better be damn careful who you show this to. By 40, you better know what is worth your time, what battles to fight, what to put into your body, and what to put into your mind. To those that want to rebel against societal norms and mores I wish you luck.

reluctantly_red · 2018-09-15T08:43:47+00:00

why look outward in the first place.

Exactly. No one cares -- especially not a woman. Men comfort women. They expect, indeed demand, this. Guys just need to understand that this is a one way street. Guys also need, for their own sanity, to realize that its nothing personal its just that women aren't program to care about anything other than a guys most superficial needs and emotions.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-09-15T05:59:08+00:00

Who says they should? Why listen to them? Dont do it. No one will care

Young_Oryx · 2018-09-15T06:06:09+00:00

I mean, you don't have to. If you don't want to cry and ask for help, by all means don't.

squidracer · 2018-09-15T09:38:30+00:00

If your a man who cries, you should probably get your hormones looked at. Sounds like high estrogen. Happens to roid users when they forget to take their AI

Title	Why should men cry and ask for help?
Author	Cunari
Upvotes	3
Comments	28
Date	September 15, 2018 5:12 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9fz0r0/why_should_men_cry_and_ask_for_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-should-men-cry-and-ask-for-help.260832 https://theredarchive.com/post/260832

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