Change my mind: "She's not your girl, it's just your turn"

poppy_blu · 2018-07-15T10:06:35+00:00

Been his girl for 16 years. I fully expect that when we're old and he's popping viagras like tic tacs and chasing me around the old folks home I'll still be his.

I look at "she's not yours it's just your turn differently." It means she doesn't belong to you like a pet who will love you unconditionally while you sit on your ass getting fat and boring and treating her like she's your mother. You have to keep dating/charming/seducing her even after you're married. In that way, it's positive advice (even though I know most TRPs interpret it as "she's going to dump you the minute Chad walks by." )

And yes women have to keep putting in effort too.

>women on average have easy access to a number of guys in the western situation

What's wrong with your analysis is that its male projection. Sure women can always find someone willing to have sex with them. But women aren't men. We don't want sex with just anyone. We don't want relationships with just anyone (another male projection: having a job and a penis makes you relationship material). What I observe among women my age getting divorced is that finding a man her own age who has taken care of himself, isn't bitter about women and doesn't have ex/baby mama drama is a long shot. Men do far better after a break up or divorce than women do.

>But in a relationship men are supposed to give up on their pursuits, and let their skills rust.

Are you advocating for men to still be able to date and fuck while in a relationship? If that's what you want find a woman who wants an open relationship. There are some. Or become a mormon.

Yonderlander · 2018-07-15T09:33:44+00:00

Its possible that the top 10% of attractive women have all this choice and abundance, the rest of us are just trying to avoid loneliness, looking for the one or in relationships like everyone else.

Also edited to add that once settled down, where do we meet these hoardes of suitors? Not on the school run, or in traditionally female jobs.

[deleted] · 2018-07-15T08:08:45+00:00

None of the married women I know have suitors or back ups. I've been married 15 years (since I was 19), never had suitors or back ups. Some of us intend to stay married. Yes, I possibly could branch swing, if I wanted to, but I don't want to. The obsession with hypergamy doesn't take into account that many women want to stay with their spouse, forsaking all others.

PennnyLame · 2018-07-15T07:43:40+00:00

I believe the purpose of my current incarnation is to be with my husband and to learn as much as I can from a lifetime spent with him. He is the only man I have had sex with. I am his. It is not just his turn.

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-07-15T08:07:13+00:00

I'm going with the Patrice O'neal version. You can only love a woman 80 percent. You gotta leave 10 for yourself and 10 extra so you don't kill yourself if your girl leaves.

Meaning, you have to love yourself more than the girl your with. Its not your turn is just a different take on it since most RP guys don't know how to care about themselves and need to do shit out of spite

OfSpock · 2018-07-15T08:33:46+00:00

Women can easily get into a relationship after a breakup and tend to keep backup guys.

How does this work? If you have a group of ten men and ten women, but five of the women have back ups, then are the other five women single, or are they dating the back up guys who plan to dump them as soon as their preferred woman crooks her little finger? Because the second five women aren't really in an enviable position either way.

allweknowisD · 2018-07-15T08:24:54+00:00

This concept always blows my mind. It seems to boil down to the relationship could always end, but like... no shit? It goes both ways: “he’s not your boy, it’s just your turn”.

For the duration of the relationship, they are yours. But relationships end all the time, some do not. I don’t understand this concept of telling yourself this in a relationship other than out of insecurity and trying to keep yourself at a distance.

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Wallstreet3 · 2018-07-15T09:05:50+00:00

Actuallity doesn't come into this. This attitude is for men's benefit, so they don't hang themselves when they find out she is sleeping around.

VictoriaSobocki · 2018-07-15T10:51:04+00:00

Very good hypergamy debate here

Loban8990 · 2018-07-15T11:20:18+00:00

I don't need to change your mind. You're on the right path. The fact that you're on the purple pill means you've begun to open up your mind to certain realities.

Title	Change my mind: "She's not your girl, it's just your turn"
Author	Intrashable
Upvotes	15
Comments	51
Date	July 15, 2018 7:19 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8z01l5/change_my_mind_shes_not_your_girl_its_just_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/change-my-mind-shes-not-your-girl-its-just-your.261520 https://theredarchive.com/post/261520

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