[CMV] Fear of rejection is the reason 'nice guys', red-pillers and perpetually pumped and dumped girls exist.

alreadyredschool · 2017-09-28T19:24:41+00:00

Agreed on the nice guys.

For RP there is no reason to force yourself to not have feelings. If you want a relationship get one, if you want casual sex do that. And before you mention oneitis you can develop feelings without deluding yourself into thinking that she is the only woman on earth for you. It's really not about not getting rejected it's getting rejected so often that it becomes normal.

No idea about the women.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-09-28T20:06:17+00:00

Pumped and dumped ladies: Sleep with men and hope they turn into long term relationships but don't ask if they're sleeping around or if they see things going long term because it's better to delude yourself into thinking they care than hearing that you're just a plate. Ignorance is bliss!

Spot on. Women believe they have the golden pussy and they can seduce any man into a relationship if only they fuck him hard enough.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-09-28T19:36:25+00:00

I don’t know if the dots connect the way you have connected them. But sure who wants to be hurt and rejected? I think most ppl are a lot more optimistic than you give them credit for. When it comes to trp that advice is to defuse the fear that causes paralysis that some guys get when thinking about girls leaving them. That’s what I think anyway.

Love8Death · 2017-09-28T21:32:37+00:00

Nice guys exist because they fear their sexuality making them a bad person when displayed.

RP exists because men have been lied to and want the truth.

P&D ladies exist because of being too hopeful and/or lacking seduction skills.

None of this is driven by fear of rejection even if they all have some fear of rejection, but who doesn't? Everyone has some, and by your logic then everyone is made the same way, which is absurd.

Not only is fear of rejection not the base of most of these people, it has zero to do with why they exist.

Your CMV logically makes zero sense.

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-09-28T21:00:56+00:00

Nice guy - hangs around and does stuff for a girl he likes and would rather delude himself in to thinking she might be into him instead of making a move and perhaps facing rejection. Ignorance is bliss.

Possible. Then again, the "nice guy" could be a strategy for gaining the attention of the person they desire. If you look at it from a strategic side, this is what most girls/women do, so "nice guys" are just using a tactic done by the opposite sex, and probably because they don't know, or never learned another way, or they've been taught that this is what women like.

Red pill: Force yourself not to have feelings or open up to any girl and if/when she leaves you it's not a big deal because you didn't care anyway. You can't really be rejected if you don't really care.

I don't agree. You're not "rejected" by a girl if she still wants to have sex with you. Sex is the main focus behind Red Pill. They don't care about anything else. They're just using Red Pill to get what they want. I see it as more that the guys who use Red Pill are "fulfilling a sense of desire to be desired," because, obviously, the audience of Red Pill is the "beta guy"/Nice Guy that can't seem to get any women to like them.

Pumped and dumped ladies: Sleep with men and hope they turn into long term relationships but don't ask if they're sleeping around or if they see things going long term because it's better to delude yourself into thinking they care than hearing that you're just a plate. Ignorance is bliss!

Nah. False generalization. If women are sleeping with men, in their minds, most of them are already in a relationship. A relationship isn't a legal agreement where two people sit down and explicitly ask for each other's permission/consent to be their boy/girlfriend, and then sign a formal agreement. Relationships are informal, so people simply "act like" they're in a relationship, and the relationship forms around them over time. Sex is one of those things that are done.

However, there are women who use sex as a way bring guys in, but even still, there isn't much of a way to conclude that they're doing it because of a "fear of rejection." These are all just approaches or strategies that people use, and they're either successful or unsuccessful.

[deleted] · 2017-09-28T22:25:43+00:00

Disagree.

Fear of rejection is one reason, not the reason.

[deleted] · 2017-09-29T05:49:21+00:00

Disagree.

Fear of rejection is a general challenge any guy has to some degree. Some guys have less some guys have more.

hangs around and does stuff for a girl he likes and would rather delude himself in to thinking she might be into him instead of making a move and perhaps facing rejection.

Not about rejection, it's more about having a sort of savior complex. With some of the guys that got stuck in the friendzone I knew in college, the main problem was they wanted to perpetually give more and more. They put their value on what they can give and help a girl with, not themselves.

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blackedoutfast · 2017-09-28T23:55:05+00:00

obvs no one wants to get rejected, but it's not the root cause of all this.

NiceGuys™: you are partially correct about being afraid to make a wrong move, but it's also based on a bad strategy of trying to "win over" the girl through kindness.

RP men: not at all. one of the most important lessons a guy can learn from RP is to stop fearing rejection and start seeing rejections as a good thing (specifically quick and definite rejections). instead of being like the NiceGuy who avoids rejection, just accept that everyone gets rejected occasionally. do what you can to make yourself attractive as possible, but realize that you can't control attraction. if she's not attracted to you, then getting rejected is a good thing because that means you aren't wasting time and effort trying to win her over. you can move on to the next one. a yes is better than a no, but a no is better than a maybe.

the abundance effect is also very real but is something that needs to be experienced personally to be truly understood. it's not some faked thing where you lie to yourself about not caring or sour grapes or anything like that. when you have an abundance of options then you simply aren't too bothered by rejection.

P&D women: a lot of women are basically the inverse of friendzoned Nice Guys: they're using a bad strategy of giving up sex for free in the hopes that they can win over the guy and a romantic relationship will happen.

a lot of women are very insecure and try to repress and hide their needy-type behaviors as much as possible because they've learned that it's a huge turnoff for high quality guys. but eventually they can't repress it any more and the neediness comes out. you get the "what are we" talk and all that. sometimes the guy accepts it and it becomes a more serious relationship but a lot of times the neediness pushes him away, which makes her even more insecure and needy.

DerpyMcKittyFace · 2017-09-29T11:07:24+00:00

For me, AWALT allows me to maintain a degree of control, and not make stupid decisions

[deleted] · 2017-09-29T11:45:21+00:00

Nice guy over-invests.

Red-piller under-invests.

One gets feelings without sex.

Other gets sex without feelings.

storffish · 2017-09-28T19:28:14+00:00

I think the chicks just want someone to value them for something, no matter how shallowly. fat chicks tend to be like this, they need male validation. probably self loathing, although I can't pretend to know how women think.

I agree on "nice guys" I think they're pussies who won't sack up and ask a girl out.

I think red pill guys are the final form of bullied, shy, nerdy kids who are terrified that chicks will discover their inner chump/beta/dweeb/whatever reputation they're trying to escape. layers and layers of self loathing that can be momentarily put off by female validation.

goatismycopilot · 2017-09-28T22:22:36+00:00

I think women get subject to the pump and dump for two reasons, one they want a relationship and think the dude wants a relationship or hopes he does and they believe whatever vague or promising bullshit he says and they filter it through the hoping for a relationship lens which translates otherwise vague things into "evidence" he wants a relationship. They believe the words and ignore the actions.

prettydrunk23 · 2017-09-29T03:22:21+00:00

OP, you are showing your biases. Men join RP for many reasons. I never had fear of rejection, but your post reveals you do.

Some lessons are more important for some men. Such as some men who have that fear. For others who don't, we take other lessons. It's a toolbox and your post just reveals which tool you gravitate to.

prettydrunk23 · 2017-09-29T06:53:47+00:00

Nice guy - hangs around and does stuff for a girl he likes and would rather delude himself in to thinking she might be into him instead of making a move and perhaps facing rejection.

How does that fit into bluepill narrative of "Nice Guys" getting aggressive after being rejected?

lol when you're in so many layers of bullshit you end up contradicting yourself

Title	[CMV] Fear of rejection is the reason 'nice guys', red-pillers and perpetually pumped and dumped girls exist.
Author	prettydrunk23
Upvotes	13
Comments	98
Date	September 28, 2017 7:11 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/732c74/cmv_fear_of_rejection_is_the_reason_nice_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-fear-of-rejection-is-the-reason-nice-guys-red.265898 https://theredarchive.com/post/265898

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