Q4W: Have any of you experienced rape or sexual assault from someone you knew or after drinking?

philomexa · 2017-08-30T10:19:19+00:00

freshman year in the dorms, my roommate and I head back in after a night of heavy drinking on frat row. We notice there was an 'afterparty' in the lounge with our drunk RA and all his drunk military pals (we lived on the ROTC floor).

So roommate and I head over to shoot the shit, eventually the party starts to disperse and I head back to our room alone (roommate went to stay in her FWB's room). As I'm unlocking the door one of the older ROTC bros drunk-stumbles into me and says he wants to continue our convo. Frankly I don't remember speaking to him at all, but I was drunk and feeling social so I was like, sure.

We stumble into the room and he falls on top of me on to the bed. Immediately he starts going at it; sloppy kissing, trying to take my clothes off, etc.

Despite the hazy drunkenness I remember thinking "well, I don't want this so I guess this means I'm a statistic" followed by "ugh, I'm wasted, fighting him off is so hard right now".

So I debated if I should just let it happen, but he was shit drunk and having problems with my pants that I actually grew impatient waiting for my own rape.

This annoyance gave me the fire or energy to rock back and forth and eventually throw his drunk ass off me with momentum.

He fell to the ground, there was a bit of silence, then he said "shhhhiiiiittttt", stumbled out of the room and threw up in the hallway.

Good riddance. I locked my door and went to sleep. Never saw that guy again.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2017-08-30T06:37:25+00:00

My best friend was at her boyfriend's house and she, her boyfriend, and his roommate were all drinking. She started to feel sick so she went and laid down in her boyfriend's bed. Later, after her boyfriend had passed out on the couch, his roommate came in and started having sex with her. She said she pretended like she was passed out and waited until he was done. After he left the room she got up and left. I tried to get her to report it to the police, but she didn't want to go through the trouble.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-08-30T08:06:53+00:00

Not rape, but once I went to my good friend's house with other friends and we all got drunk. I black out and the next thing I know, I'm in my friend's bed and he's removing my pants and going down on me. I had never kissed a guy nor held hands nor had sex. I had no idea what he was doing, I was embarrassed, I just laid there and said nothing. I kind of disappeared in my head because I had no idea what was happening. The next morning, he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend, and I felt like I had no choice to say yes, because that had happened, and I was like "welp, this is my life now, too late". It wasn't sexual assault, but it's a case where it would have been nice if the guy had asked for affirmative consent, because if anyone had asked me, I didn't want that to happen!

nemma88 · 2017-08-30T08:35:09+00:00

I guess these are Assaulty enough . I've been considering them over the last few days with the 'Why can't people just say no' like its some magical word, I think people who are taking advantage already know they are, 'no' doesn't matter a jot to them.

Alcohol, 'night in' at a friend I crashed at. Weekly occurrence, group of people. One night a guy (not the host) got handsy after everyone was asleep. I elbowed him, and shuffled away, he followed. I asked him to go away, he didn't. I got up and went to sleep next to another guy in a different room.

I no longer associate with that group

Alcohol, pub night out for birthday guy I'd known a few years. Again out of town, he offered a spare room at his parents house. Late night again, I'd gone to sleep (Ahhh sleep attack!) he walked in and got into the bed. When I was awake enough to realize what was happening I asked him pretty polity to get out, there was a short conversation and his hands popped up again to which I grabbed his wrists then pushed him out with my legs. There was another conversation while he was sat on the floor, he tried to get in again, I got louder and started slapping him, then he left (I mean his parents were right there next door).

I distanced myself from this person for years, though we occasionally see each other at group events.

Personally, I'm not overly bothered about the above events, but I was sleeping in a separate area and gave no indication I might want anyone to join me, they both approached when I was incapable of stopping their advances and for neither a 'no' was not enough. While none that fit this posts criteria, and evidently I am capable of saying 'no' I do know what it's like to experience a freeze response also, it is far scarier and lives with you longer, can sympathize with that.

Edit; I should point out in both cases I had had a LOT to drink, but I'm one of those people who can function relatively normally until I reach a tipping point then suddenly not being able to stand etc, and I've only ever gone over that tipping point twice.

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RedditFromTheBathtub · 2017-08-30T15:02:10+00:00

Nope. But also, I don't drink or go to clubs. YMMV.

RockinSocksII · 2017-08-30T15:33:11+00:00

Cook at the kitchen I worked at kept brushing his hand across my ass. Looking back, the creepy thing is that he kept asking how old I am and this only started after I turned 18.

rulenumber303 · 2017-08-30T22:56:39+00:00

Hmmm, four instances for me, none of which went so far as rape, none of which fit the narrative you say "PPD is most interested in".

Instance one, an ass groping when I was ten years old. I ran off, got a pair of scissors and tried to stab him in the chest. After I was subdued and my mother was freaking out, I told him that if he ever fell asleep around me I would get a knife and slit his throat. He stopped staying overnight. 1.Yes he was drunk. 2.Well yeah I guess... he was dating my mother and had been out with her that night. 3.Check, dating my mother. I'm also pretty sure I was being groomed. 4.Nah, he was in my place of residence.

Instance 2, I was 15 and another student at high school shoved his hand under my skirt and copped a feel... which turned out to be a feel of maxipad. He received a mouthful of abuse. 1. I was sober. He almost certainly was too. 2.It was lunchtime. 3.Well yeah he was in most of my classes. 4.Nope, this was in the yard at school.

Instance three, seated watching TV and he walked over to me and started unwelcome caresses. I informed him this was unwelcome and unwarranted, he said he was just being friendly, I told him sure, friends, if he wants to stay friends he needs to back the hell off right now, which he did. 1.Certainly not on my part but IDK about him. 2.It was at night... during a break at our McJob. 3.Coworkers. 4.We were both in the vile stinky dirty break room.

Instance 4, during the last days of my marriage and my husband decided to physically push the issue of sex at a time when just thinking about his dick (which had been in a particularly repugnant someone else) made me want to vomit. I came very close to killing him in response. 1.Nope, both sober. 2.Nope, at home. 3.Yeah, we were married. 4.Well we both lived there.

I've studied at university and been to a few pubs, bars, house parties and nightclubs. Never been assaulted at a pub, bar, party or nightclub. Mind you, I don't drink heavily and if it is night time I don't drink at all unless I am with family.

Title	Q4W: Have any of you experienced rape or sexual assault from someone you knew or after drinking?
Author	soccerstar77
Upvotes	3
Comments	34
Date	August 30, 2017 5:54 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6wx77u/q4w_have_any_of_you_experienced_rape_or_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-have-any-of-you-experienced-rape-or-sexual.266274 https://theredarchive.com/post/266274

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