If you actually care about women, then being a feminist is the worse thing you can do

theiamsamurai · 2017-05-21T21:18:38+00:00

Feminists want so much to be like men, they forgot about good ole' femininity.

society hates femininity. men only want an idealized fantasy of what femininity means.

The fact that women are naturally more submissive and passive actively pisses feminists off, and they believe gender roles are all a social construct.

male projection and fantasy.

Feminists point fingers at men while taking all the responsibility away from men, thus treating women like children.

...taking responsibility away from men is the same as treating women like children?

Feminists believe that we live in a "rape culture". If we lived in a rape culture, then rape would be legal, and socially acceptable, which it is not, obviously. If I were to be a feminist I would have to believe we live in a rape culture where rape is socially acceptable, which I know is false.

a rape culture is just a culture that doesn't take sexual assault seriously. she was asking for it, right?

To be a feminist, I must continually ask to have sex and never take control and be kinky. Sex becomes boring and most, sane women don't find it sexy when a man has to ask her every 5 seconds if he can touch her here or there. I care about women's pleasure to much to abide by this law of feminism.

man, you guys are really bad at telling when a woman does or doesn't want to fuck you. this is some autistic interpretation of consent.

Trigger warnings. Come on! Be a fucking adult and don't read something if you think it might hurt your sensitive feelings. This is infantilization of women to a great degree.

trigger warnings are a millennial phenomenon, not a feminist one. we're a sheltered generation.

Street harassment. MANY women actually like to be approached and don't consider it harassment. MANY women appreciate it and get an EGO boost from it, even if it doesn't go well. I walk around WAITING for women to approach me. Women can handle it. They aren't children, are they?

can you not tell the difference between approaching a woman and harassing her? do you tell obscenities at her? make vulgar sexual comments? do you stop when she asks you to? then you're not harassing her.

GeekyFeministDork · 2017-05-21T21:31:10+00:00

This is a big bunch of crap, and I won't dignify it by addressing it all, so I will not get past addressing the first two points.

'Femininity' as in 'be submissive to men, stay at home, do not earn your own money, do not be ambitious and do not be in control of your life' royally screws women over. It is most definitely a social construct men can use to keep women dependent on their resources and their praise. Do you think 'femininity' is a good thing when a woman cannot support herself and has to put up with her husband who demeans her and asks her to suck his dick even if she is unwilling just so she can keep the resources she needs? Do you think it is a good thing she has to self-censor herself and her opinions to protect his fragile ego, all because she is supposed to be subservient to him and he is the head of the household? Do you know there are women who do not want children and if they are forced to have them they hate them and sometimes even abuse them? Do you think a woman with no work experience who ends up divorcing her alcoholic husband is going to have a fun life? This is what you get when you try to fit all women into a submissive mould. It is just so completely stupid to give up your autonomy and let a man take control of everything, most importantly your finances.
We live in a very dangerous world in which nobody should be submissive and passive. Those who are are basically screwed over by everyone. How exactly does it benefit women to tell them to be less assertive and avoid conflict with men, when those same men might be trying to guilt-trip them into having sex, and they don't want to have it? How does being passive help them when they get raped and need to be proactive and organise both their aborti on and how to land the guy's ass in prison? How does being passive and submissive help a woman take charge of her career and make herself heard and be sure she is paid well and gets promoted, instead of just watching her male colleagues step up and get paid more when she is left behind? How does being passive and submissive help a woman who has ideas and things to say have the strength to go out there into the world and accept the rejection and the harshness that come with stepping outside of the group?

I never really understood what on earth people mean when they say feminists want to 'be men'. All they are saying is that they have this caricaturish mental picture of what a woman is like (submissive, passive, gets screwed over by men and sacrifices all her ambitions for children) and they think all women who do not want to conform to that are 'trying to be men'. No, they are just following their interests and life priorities.

shoup88 · 2017-05-21T23:13:12+00:00

There are many worse things you can do. Mass murder or bombings specifically directed towards women would be much worse than simply being a feminist.

wuboo · 2017-05-21T21:30:13+00:00

Lol, thougtcatalog, the source of deep thinking.

Feminists want so much to be like men, they forgot about good ole' femininity.

Huh? Who cares what women want to do and be like? If women like femininity or masculinity or both then that's just fine. There's a massive difference between wanting to be exactly like men and wanting the ability to define what womanhood is for themselves, which sometimes means having masculine characteristics.

The fact that women are naturally more submissive and passive actively pisses feminists off, and they believe gender roles are all a social construct.

Really? Do you see pissed off feminists running around everywhere? Some women are passive, others are not. No one gives a shit.

Feminists point fingers at men while taking all the responsibility away from men, thus treating women like children.

So women who take responsibility end up with more responsibilities are like children? Think that one through a bit more. I don't even know what you are trying to say.

Feminists believe that we live in a "rape culture". If we lived in a rape culture, then rape would be legal, and socially acceptable, which it is not, obviously. If I were to be a feminist I would have to believe we live in a rape culture where rape is socially acceptable, which I know is false.

Well, ever had a manager ask if you've ever had a threesome or have been with a guy before within a hr of meeting you? I have. Fuck men like that and fuck whatever it is that makes them think it's ok to say shit like that.

To be a feminist, I must continually ask to have sex and never take control and be kinky. Sex becomes boring and most, sane women don't find it sexy when a man has to ask her every 5 seconds if he can touch her here or there. I care about women's pleasure to much to abide by this law of feminism.

LOLOLOL. Yes, I make all my partners sign a 10 page contract before having sex. Cue massive eye roll. Most issues can be solved with 'don't stick your dick in crazy' and don't have drunk sex with people you don't know.

Trigger warnings. Come on! Be a fucking adult and don't read something if you think it might hurt your sensitive feelings. This is infantilization of women to a great degree.

And how are they supposed to know whether or not something will hurt them if they aren't warned of it ahead of time? I had a friend who was beaten by her partner. I'm sorry it hurts your damn feelings if there are trigger warnings for books that contain passages on assault.

Street harassment. MANY women actually like to be approached and don't consider it harassment. MANY women appreciate it and get an EGO boost from it, even if it doesn't go well. I walk around WAITING for women to approach me. Women can handle it. They aren't children, are they?

There's a difference between approaching and harassing. Get some contextual awareness.

sublimemongrel · 2017-05-21T21:52:51+00:00

Many modern feminists appear to want women to just have the opportunities to make their own choices for how they live their life. I can't speak to feminist history because I don't know it, but it doesn't appear that "feminism" these days means "has to be a career-driven CEO."

Also, "rape culture," although I don't agree with it, does not mean "rape is legal," it means rape is normalized and/or not taken seriously enough.

IHeartDay9 · 2017-05-22T00:39:44+00:00

Feminism provides women with choice. If a woman, or even most women choose to embody stereotypically feminine qualities or form traditionally structured relationships, that's their choice, and they shouldn't be shamed for it. For the women that aren't "feminine" or who prefer a non-traditional relationships, feminism has given them the option.

questioningwoman · 2017-05-21T21:45:42+00:00

I'm not naturally "feminine". I want the freedom to be who I am. Being passive is actually less safe than being active because when you don't pay attention and stay right on top of everything, things all fall apart and go wrong in my experience. Submission is also less safe because it means handing the person 100 percent control over everything. Passivity is only more safe when you don't know what you want to do and have to wait for the options to present themselves. Or in cases where there's nothing you can do in the mean time.

The fact that you think of these things as "being like men" means you want to force me into a behavioral box and then tell me it's good for me. I want higher pay and more professional positions available to me. Why is it wrong to want them? I want the freedom to act however I please. You on the other hand want to force me to act a certain way just because I have certain genitals. Female doesn't mean feminine.

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-05-21T22:01:22+00:00

Feminists want so much to be like men, they forgot about good ole' femininity.

They don't want women to be like children. Working, self reliance and getting educated aren't necessarily masculine traits.

They can be confident and have a job and be feminine at the same time even though that doesn't fit into your narrow definition of masculinity and feminity.

The fact that women are naturally more submissive and passive actively pisses feminists off, and they believe gender roles are all a social construct.

Why should all women forced to be submissive and passive simply because they tend to be more passive than men?

And if they are naturally like that why aren't they all like that if they don't get pushed into role?

Why do you hate women having personal freedom?

Feminists point fingers at men while taking all the responsibility away from women, thus treating women like children.

Feminism also gave women responsibilities.

Feminists believe that we live in a "rape culture". If we lived in a rape culture, then rape would be legal, and socially acceptable, which it is not, obviously. If I were to be a feminist I would have to believe we live in a rape culture where rape is socially acceptable, which I know is false.

You should really read what they mean instead of just going by what you assume it means based on the name.

It's about slut shaming and how we excuse certain kinds of sexual assaults and rape. Like "but look what she was wearing" or not taking sluts that say they got raped seriously because it's assumed that she must have wanted to get fucked while she was a passed out.

It's an edgy name in order to get attention, but that doesn't mean that what they are saying when they describe that term isn't true.

To be a feminist, I must continually ask to have sex and never take control and be kinky. Sex becomes boring and most, sane women don't find it sexy when a man has to ask her every 5 seconds if he can touch her here or there. I care about women's pleasure to much to abide by this law of feminism.

Even more straw. Is /r/incels and MGTOW the only source on feminism you have? You should listen to neurotypicals and feminists instead

Trigger warnings. Come on! Be a fucking adult and don't read something if you think it might hurt your sensitive feelings. This is infantilization of women to a great degree.

Why do you care? Seriously what's the problem with helping some people? Don't you care about other people at all?

Movies and music already have warnings on them if they are sexually or violent so why is this too much?

Why do they even bother you? Don't read trigger warnings if they trigger you

Street harassment. MANY women actually like to be approached and don't consider it harassment. MANY women appreciate it and get an EGO boost from it, even if it doesn't go well. I walk around WAITING for women to approach me. Women can handle it. They aren't children, are they?

Your entitlement isn't more important than the wellbeing of others.

Why do you care if women complain about creeps that don't know how, when, where to approach or when to stop?

I find feminism misogynistic and do not wish to support the movement. Thanks for reading.

Well considering that half of that was straw and the other half misinterpreted I don't care about your opinion on feminism.

Daath_Masquerade · 2017-05-21T22:18:26+00:00

Feminists want so much to be like men, they forgot about good ole' femininity.

Define "femininity" please.

The fact that women are naturally more submissive and passive actively pisses feminists off, and they believe gender roles are all a social construct.

Says who?

Feminists point fingers at men while taking all the responsibility away from women, thus treating women like children.

I thought TRP believed women were children/teenagers...so even if that were actually true, isn't that in agreement with your views? Why do you care if they're doing something that agrees with you?

Feminists believe that we live in a "rape culture". If we lived in a rape culture, then rape would be legal, and socially acceptable, which it is not, obviously. If I were to be a feminist I would have to believe we live in a rape culture where rape is socially acceptable, which I know is false.

This is a silly statement. Why would you "have" to believe anything? Do you get baptised into feminism? Did you get baptised into TRP? Did you vow to always believe certain tenants?

Also, what makes you think culture depends on what is or isn't legal? Counterculture's and subcultures exist precisely because people have views that don't always align with the current laws on the books.

Rape culture could equally refer to a subculture of men and women who find rape acceptable or even deserved in certain situations. I don't think it's far fetched to state that this likely does exist, to some extent, even today.

To be a feminist, I must continually ask to have sex and never take control and be kinky. Sex becomes boring and most, sane women don't find it sexy when a man has to ask her every 5 seconds if he can touch her here or there. I care about women's pleasure to much to abide by this law of feminism.

Por Que? Where does this idea even come from? I can believe women are equal to men and prefer being a submissive in the bedroom at the same time. I don't find dominantly sexual men to be sexist assholes unless they act like sexist assholes. Apples and oranges dude.

Trigger warnings. Come on! Be a fucking adult and don't read something if you think it might hurt your sensitive feelings. This is infantilization of women to a great degree.

PTSD effects people of both genders. I've seen a Vietnam vet completely lose his shit and forget what decade he was in, in the middle of a movie. He spent the rest of the day visibly trembling and I heard it was days before he slept again.

When I see particularly twisted rape scearios that bring back memories I start shaking and vomiting uncontrollably and spend the next two to three days with a severe migraine, and anxiety and panic too severe to sleep without waking up in cold sweat.

If he had paid attention to the warnings of realistic violence at the beginning of the movie he could have avoided triggering his PTSD - why should I not have the option of avoiding the same outcome when possible?

Street harassment. MANY women actually like to be approached and don't consider it harassment. MANY women appreciate it and get an EGO boost from it, even if it doesn't go well. I walk around WAITING for women to approach me. Women can handle it. They aren't children, are they?

I appreciate someone complimenting me. I don't appreciate someone groping me or having a stranger with stale beer on his breath leering down my shirt, following me, or otherwise HARASSING me. Hence the term street harrassment.

You probably like when attractive women approach you in a friendly way. Would you like if a 300+ pound woman with thinning, greasy hair and BO was loudly calling after you telling you to eat her pussy or else?

That's usually the quality of men who do the lurid harrassing... there's a big difference and it's pretty damn clear why it might be unwanted.

oignonne · 2017-05-21T21:54:36+00:00

Feminists want so much to be like men, they forgot about good ole' femininity.

No. Traditional femininity, in men or women, should be accepted. It's just that no one should be forced to conform to traditional gender roles. But being female shouldn't be a bad or lesser thing- that's the point of feminism.

The fact that women are naturally more submissive and passive actively pisses feminists off, and they believe gender roles are all a social construct.

There are biological sex differences, but our social environments also greatly impact us. Again, it's that no one should be greatly pressured to conform to traditional gender roles. There are times where being more assertive or more passive is beneficial, for men or women. Women shouldn't be criticized for not being submissive or passive, however.

Feminists point fingers at men while taking all the responsibility away from women, thus treating women like children.

What responsibilities are being taken away from women?

Feminists believe that we live in a "rape culture". If we lived in a rape culture, then rape would be legal, and socially acceptable, which it is not, obviously. If I were to be a feminist I would have to believe we live in a rape culture where rape is socially acceptable, which I know is false.

If something must be legal to be culturally prevalent, then I don't know what to tell you. I guess under your very narrow definition of culture, rape culture doesn't exist. Neither does a drinking culture at any colleges then, given that many students can't legally drink. I do find, however, that "date" rape is often ignored or downplayed.

To be a feminist, I must continually ask to have sex and never take control and be kinky. Sex becomes boring and most, sane women don't find it sexy when a man has to ask her every 5 seconds if he can touch her here or there. I care about women's pleasure to much to abide by this law of feminism.

Nope, you must continually have consent. Consent doesn't mean kink or D/s relationships can't occur. Consent does not need to look like blandly asking "may we have sex?" every five seconds.

Trigger warnings. Come on! Be a fucking adult and don't read something if you think it might hurt your sensitive feelings. This is infantilization of women to a great degree.

"Don't read something if you think it might hurt your sensitive feelings"- that's the whole point. So someone can think "oh, this describes a rape in graphic detail, I'm going to pass." Things like PTSD are certainly not "sensitive feelings," but regardless of whether or not that's the reason someone opts out after seeing a warning, it's fine to not be interested in/comfortable with something. I'm curious how often you see trigger warnings- I only very occasionally see them above articles explicitly describing sexual assault or hear them, about unusual swearing or violence, at the beginning of an episode of a normally "PG" podcast. And you know what I do when they don't apply to me? Instead of getting super upset about their existence, I ignore and move on.

Street harassment. MANY women actually like to be approached and don't consider it harassment. MANY women appreciate it and get an EGO boost from it, even if it doesn't go well. I walk around WAITING for women to approach me. Women can handle it. They aren't children, are they?

Many women do not. It's not being a child to not want someone to be an asshole to you. I'd prefer people didn't shout rude or explicit sexual comments at me on the street. It's not being a child to wish other adults behaved with basic decency. While I'm not interested in any stranger approaching me on the street while I'm going some place, I react much differently to being treated like a human ("hey, how are you?") than being treated like an object that they are entitled to ("look at those tits," "smile!," whistling).

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[deleted] · 2017-05-21T21:34:11+00:00

This is the sort of question that's just begging for people to come in and say, "No, I'm not that kind of feminist!"

Title	If you actually care about women, then being a feminist is the worse thing you can do
Author	VoidInvincible
Upvotes	6
Comments	45
Date	May 21, 2017 9:01 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6ciyuw/if_you_actually_care_about_women_then_being_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-actually-care-about-women-then-being-a.267997 https://theredarchive.com/post/267997

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