Indirect vs Direct

nomnomponytail · 2016-08-17T03:58:09+00:00

Ask for something more extravagant, time consuming or expensive than you would otherwise want, but drop hints about a cheaper alternative that you actually want. Oversell your wants and make him think he's meeting you in the middle.
If there is a critical detail that would steer him in a certain direction allude to it but don't let on you know. "I wonder if..." and let him go to Wikipedia himself. People are more confident in information that they research themselves. Men in particular are very egotistical and thus more susceptible to this.
Men are extremely susceptible to reverse psychology, more so than women, in my experience. Set up the situation as such that if he "loses" it you'll be vocal about "winning". When he does what you ultimately want, act like you were proven wrong. He will gloat like a kid who thinks his tee-ball participation trophy is real, but it will solidify his belief in what he did.

damaskrose · 2016-08-17T05:45:31+00:00

Look up "negotiation techniques," it's more or less the same. Some people take an aggressive approach to negotiating, and while it might get you what you want right now, people will be less likely to want to work with you in the future. It's generally better to take a more tactful approach, regardless of whether you're dealing in business or personal relationships.

Entropy-7 · 2016-08-17T06:09:36+00:00

It's not restricted to women or men: it is a universal method of manipulation (and not in the bad sense of the word).

My mum was telling me about a time dad was thinking of taking a vacation with the guys. He was an accountant and had just finished tax season so from about February to April he was never at home and my mom and sisters were without him. So after that he says that he wants to go on a golf vacation to Florida with the guys. My mom asked if it was a good tax season and he said yes. So she says that maybe she should fly down to Puerto Rico with her friend for a week, enjoy the beaches and drinks and go dancing.

It was total emotional/logical jujitsu and dad was not going to say no to her so he relented and suggested we take a family vacation instead. Mom had no intention of leaving my sisters and I in the hands of a babysitter while the two of them went galavanting off to separate tourist destinations where the chance of adultery was significant.

He made a stupid suggestion and mom totally played him so he made up his own mind to do what she wanted in the first place.

[deleted] · 2016-08-17T23:28:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

GroovyEFS · 2016-08-17T07:40:46+00:00

You're basically asking how to manipulate people. Just read the 48 Laws, it'll tell you all you need to know.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-08-17T09:39:00+00:00

This happens in my marriage, but its an open thing. Its a kind of game or verbal sparring. Instead of saying "can you do X, Y and Z" my wife will say "Damn... I find it sexy when a man does X, Y, and Z."

I think it's more fun to be given a challenge or suggestion than someone just droning on and on about what they want like a typical entitled western female whose entire psyche is just comprised of neverending demands and complaints.

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kick6 · 2016-08-17T13:54:36+00:00

If you see a dude you want to hit on you, and you notice he's looking at you, peel yourself off from your group of 42 girlfriends so the approach is less daunting.

Want to take it up a notch? Find a reason to be in his general vicinity.

DrunkGirl69 · 2016-08-17T06:57:33+00:00

Maybe you can just convince him somehow that he suggested it and that he must've forgotten saying it, but that now you've come around to the idea. Idk, maybe he said it in his sleep or when he was drunk.

SkinnySweaty · 2016-08-17T16:01:42+00:00

This is a management technique. It's not restricted to relationships. It could be useful there, but it's more manipulative and I do not think that is good in that setting.

For management this takes place when you have an employee come to you with a problem. You already know the answer, but you realize that they are 100 times more likely to agree with the implementation if they come up with it themselves. So you proceed to ask the employee several leading questions to set them on a treasure hunt of sorts that will end up with them finding the solution you want them to find.

When the employee discovers the solution you wanted them to discover, you congratulate them and publicly acknowledge their good work to the rest of the crew. Then, you get the employee to implement the solution (do all the work) which they are eager to do since it is THEIR THING.

Everyone wins and you (the manager) can go back to whatever you were originally doing.

Title	Indirect vs Direct
Author	ThatGreekLady
Upvotes	5
Comments	34
Date	August 17, 2016 3:33 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4y3jeq/indirect_vs_direct/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/indirect-vs-direct.273544 https://theredarchive.com/post/273544

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