What are your thoughts on the line in Law 26 "the mistake does not vanish with an apology; it deepens and festers"?

cats_or_get_out · 2016-01-29T13:49:46+00:00

No way. I own up to my mistakes--and quickly.

Owning my shit also build goodwill. My staff at work knows that they can trust me. When they mistakes, they roger up quickly, which is important in fixing the mistakes.

They don't think of me as the asshole who doesn't take responsibility for her actions (we have a few of those at work); those assholes cause the fear and paranoia because they spend their time deflecting and assigning blame. If they are in positions of power, they create a workplace climate that is so risk-adverse that nothing happens--nothing gets done. Read Atlas Shrugged for examples of that.

Now on the other hand, I hate it when people endlessly apologize. I try a different approach. I say "thank you." Instead of "sorry I'm late" (emphasis on me me me), I say "Thank you for waiting." It's kinder and more effective. It doesn't put the listener in that position to console you--No, it's okay. I didn't really mind.

Karlo20 · 2016-01-29T13:41:22+00:00

Basically stating that apologizing does nothing but leave you in deeper shit than you started in, which is true really. An apology is nothing more than an admission of guilt, it does not make your mistakes disappear but rather removes all doubt that you should be hanged for them. You see this occur in SJW issues a lot; SJWs accuse someone of being sexist/racist/homophobic/etcetc, said person apologizes, and then instead of the issue being resolved the SJW army continues full force with rejuvenated energy in their witch hunt.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-01-29T14:37:58+00:00

This makes sense in public life. Lets say you make a questionable decision. Apologize, and the people who didnt like your call will feel like their opinion is validated. Meanwhile, the people who actually wouldve backed your play no longer have a reason to.

Never apologize to strangers.

With people close to you, if you legit fuck up, apologize quickly, and move past it. The briefer the apology the better. Betas try and bend over backwards to make their girl happy with them again but all it does is set the bar really high for next time.

[deleted] · 2016-01-29T18:00:14+00:00

focus attention on a convenient scapegoat.

Are you fucking kidding me? I had minions who would do this and they instantly and irredeemably fell in my esteem. I never trusted them again.

I don't give a flying fuck whether anybody apologizes. What I care about is whether they make it right. And when I once made a huge error that cost at least hundreds of thousands and possibly millions of dollars to clean up, I owned up to it immediately. I am pretty sure I didn't apologize, but I did everything I could to make it right, part of which meant notifying the people up the chain from me who had the ability to fix it.

[deleted] · 2016-01-29T13:45:35+00:00

wow, that's pathetic. sweep it under the rug and hope no one notices you fucked up? if anything, depending on the mistake, ignoring it is what allows it to fester (especially if it doesn't go unnoticed).

bluepy67 · 2016-01-29T14:18:05+00:00

Weak people can't apologize.

NalkaNalka · 2016-01-29T17:25:39+00:00

No public apologies ever. It's like putting fresh blood in the wáter for sharks. Particularly if you are dealing with a SJW lynchmob. They will just try to ruin your life with renewed vigor. Then to add insult to injury they will tell you it's good for you and will make you a better person. Just like the old inquisition torture was good for your soul and would lead to your soul's salvation.

On the other hand if its a situation with friends or family, it's a different story. Depends on the situation and who you are dealing with.

[deleted] · 2016-01-29T13:36:36+00:00

It's advice that will just make people see you as an asshole. If it's your opinion, you don't have to apologize for it. (To a degree, if your opinion is "all jews should die", perhaps you shoud apologize).

However, if you said something provably false, or hurt people with what you said, just apologize. Don't overdo it. Just apologize and be done with it. You'll be surprised how much respect it'll get you.

SteelChicken · 2016-01-29T14:47:45+00:00

The laws of power are mostly bullshit, and this is a good example of a bullshit law. I respect people who own their fuckups and people respect me when I own mine. Only a coward hides from their mistakes and real life isn't Darth Vader choking people out who make a mistake.

[deleted] · 2016-01-30T10:42:23+00:00

This reads like someone who has never worked in a real job. It's a great idea until your mistake and even a decent cover up leads to loss of millions of dollars or a few deaths.

Adults do the following: own up, fix, move on. If you can't do that, you're not an adult

Boozt · 2016-01-30T20:49:11+00:00

Giving an apology means admitting a fault. Hillary Clinton will ignore questions about emails instead of a "sorry for deleting all those emails so nobody can read them"

LordLeesa · 2016-01-29T14:57:22+00:00

Sounds like a quote from Machiavelli. :)

Assuming you're asking about the utility of this law--it would really depend on both what your status is in the hierarchy of people in that situation, and also what your ultimate goal is in that situation.

In terms of your status: If you are at the top of the situational hierarchy, this behavior is very easily practicable. If you're in the middle, this behavior is only universally practicable on those below you in the hierarchy. It could be practicable on those in your same hierarchical level as long as you don't require future cooperation from your peers for future success. It is not practicable on those above you in the hierarchy. If you are at the bottom of the situational hierarchy, it will only work on your peers at the bottom, which assumes you even have any, and even then, again, if you need future cooperation from those peers to succeed, it won't even work with them.

In terms of your ultimate goal: If your goal is to dominate everyone around you and you are indifferent to their feelings about you, this is practicable. If your goal is to nurture or maintain a close friendship or romantic relationship, this will be very counterproductive--unless, of course, the person or people you're attempting to do this with are engaging in an identical power struggle with you, in which case, none of you are going to successfully manage either friendship or love with each other anyway.

Title	What are your thoughts on the line in Law 26 "the mistake does not vanish with an apology; it deepens and festers"?
Author	throwawaycomedian95
Upvotes	1
Comments	44
Date	January 29, 2016 1:26 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/438rs2/what_are_your_thoughts_on_the_line_in_law_26_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-your-thoughts-on-the-line-in-law-26-the.276617 https://theredarchive.com/post/276617

Comments