How do i respond to an IOI?

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October 3, 2019

I just freak out.

Post Information
Title How do i respond to an IOI?
Author holyrasta
Upvotes 75
Comments 76
Date 03 October 2019 03:35 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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[–]bluesnsouls126 points127 points  (5 children) | Copy

Most people can only remain calm in situations they've been before, you just need to keep going until you stop freaking out.

[–]holyrasta[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for the advice.

[–]Nighthawkdragon88 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the right answer

[–]jm511 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've seen guys who are socially awkward make that a part of their game. Not even an act, they're awkward, they own it and it works for them.

[–]bluesnsouls3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

They own it because it works and they only know it works because they've been there before.

[–]Jabbermouth116 points117 points  (12 children) | Copy

IOI from attractive girl: approach

IOI from unattractive girl: ignore

[–]Warren_Bateman83 points84 points  (7 children) | Copy

When you’re starting out, you should approach both. Just don’t take the latter home

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (4 children) | Copy

I used to start talking to the fatties cause they'd put me in the zone. Then I'd just naturally flow to the hotter ones later in the evening without even having the sense of cold approaching. It's just when you're out there talking to all kinds of strangers, it flows naturally.

[–]izzyinjurious10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yup, I do this too. Except not fatties. Just girls that aren’t hot. Get outta your head first. Then they get attracted your confidence goes up. Next thing you know your talking to a 7 like normal.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or men, or employees wherever you are. Talking to everyone in a room or building, or a wide variety of people signals that you are there to meet people, not just take home women. Networking is always better than chasing down just women IMO.

The more people you know, the more people you have vetting others for you. "Hey, I know you, let me introduce you to someone you might want to know" that sort of shit. Priceless.

This also leads to connections of all sorts including private parties, job opportunities, and all sorts of under the radar shit you would have never gotten information on from any public platform.

[–]Xraging1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

lmao fuck a fattie

[–]showerdudes91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fat lives matters

[–]IfoundAnneFrank37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, its decent practice and hopefully help nerves longer term

[–]Truedemocracy52 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you’re starting out you should approach everyone. Making small talk out of nowhere and having real conversations with anyone will make it that much easier when it’s a cute girl

[–]Siyuen_Tea9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I recommend always approaching. The game doesn't change that much between ugly and pretty. You can still practice flirting and simply not close.

[–]VaN__Darkholme 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]novalentineforyou2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

when some girl runs a pickup routine on you

[–]ToraChan2346 points47 points  (12 children) | Copy

If you freak out when someone shows interest in you, that means you have a low opinion of yourself.

Get your self esteem up and become content with who you are, so when someone else thinks you're valuable, it won't be such a surprise to you.

[–]holyrasta[S] 7 points8 points  (8 children) | Copy

This is really hard for me to do. The emocional connection i tend to have are deficient because of this too. Is there any post i can real about self esteem because some times deep down i feel like i am not enogh.

[–]ToraChan2314 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

You need to fix whatever it is in your life that makes you feel like you're "not enough".

That should be your top priority, before even bothering with women and IOIs.

[–]kristuhfur0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The thing is I feel like I’m never enough. Is it weird that I feel like I need to be perfect and set really high expectations for myself to feel like I’m worth it? Tbh I think it might be rooted to my strict parents always setting high expectations but I don’t want to blame anyone but myself

[–]Savior16661 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you lift? Have you lifted properly with good nutrition for a few years? do you have 10-15%bf? usually, having a good body really erases that "Not enough" feeling.

[–]ToraChan230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is it weird that I feel like I need to be perfect and set really high expectations for myself to feel like I’m worth it?

No. It would only be weird if you were not working towards that "perfect" image of yourself.

[–]AdmiralFiz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can't cross reference it apparently but on the red pill sidebar there is a link under "references" to a guide called "one key step to not giving a fuck" it's a great read and I think it will help guide you on this issue

Edit: The Red Pill sidebar not the AskTRP one

[–]Fuktiga_mejmejs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Big ups for owning the fact that you feel this way, thats the first step of solving the problem, i suggest going to the gym and just increasing your SMV in general.

I'm not the type of guy that thinks I'm the shit but if a girl shows interest in you, in her eyes you ARE the shit.

[–]jm511 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

some times deep down i feel like i am not enogh.

She won't know that unless you tell her.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is inkreddible insight my brotha. But how do we inkrease our inner self esteem bredda?

[–]QuantumSpecter0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I feel like my main problem is hating the stupid small talk that comes with every first encounter. I onky ever meet girls on campus and its always like - whats ur major, what class u have now- i literallycant think of what to say. But in every other situation, im always the one with something to talk about. Idk what ny problem is. Is this also a self esteem porblem

[–]ToraChan230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If the small talk is dull, then one of the two (or sometimes both) of the people talking are boring or unintelligent. Make sure that isn't YOU.

As long as you're not boring and you continuously work on your knowledge of different topics, you won't run out of things to talk about. Try experiencing new things: travel, watch different types of sports, learn a new style of dance, try activities you've never done, do something that allows you to watch and experience someone who is an expert at something you know nothing about.

Things like that make YOU interesting. And the best part is that while you're doing those things, you would meet OTHER people also doing them who are ALSO interesting. THAT is where you would have a higher chance of meeting people who you respond better with.

[–]Don_Draper2716 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Taking baby steps over time can yield big results. First start by smiling back or holding eye contact until they look away. Then you can start approaching them with a quick risk-free question like asking them if there are any good coffee shops around. Giving compliments like saying, "I like your jacket" can also be an easy way to take that small action where you can always just eject and avoid coming off as creepy.

[–]holyrasta[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I thing i am going to faint when i compliment a girl on the street as they pass by. Thats how bad it became. I need to dare.

[–]Don_Draper275 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

To me it sounds like you're not confident enough to try and practice your people / dating skills. You lack basic confidence and esteem. Fix yourself first before you start trying to approach and plate women. Gym, meditate, improve your SMV, eat nutritious, take your vitamins, etc.

[–]BajaGhia2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh sweet jesus. Start talking to old women in the supermarket. Like, 150 year old women. Dont fall into the blue pilled grandson act!

[–]PayneGreyWolf40 points41 points  (10 children) | Copy

Grow balls. If a girl is showing you interest you don't freak out you walk up to the broad introduce yourself, get her name, make small talk and get her number

[–]Kn318 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Make moves niga! Too many people are afraid of failure. The BEST fail all the time. Remember false confidence, I'm so awesome she'll want me. Real confidence, regardless what happens I'm fine.

[–]Onein1024th21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

keep doing what you were doing

it's obviously working

[–]AdmiralFiz0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I disagee that this answers his question. Like yes, if you're an attractive guy you'll get IOI's, it's not necessarily the action that he is doing at the moment that gets the IOI. A good response to an IOI would be to approach, not to just keep standing there all handsome.

[–]Onein1024th0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah i guess i was assuming he was already mixing it up not being a wallflower

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Walk up and smack her on the booty. Gotta be bold.

[–]Fat7ace6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

1 thou!

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You approach, no hesitation.

[–]zHelios5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hi my name is ... What's yours?

[–]DrezelRS3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Can someone define IOI?

[–]Shoregrey 4 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Indigo Orange Insects

[–]DrezelRS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indications of interest I reread the wiki

[–]agjrpsl2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wear a diaper in case you piss yourself

[–]holyrasta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And a helmet in case i forget o breath and faint.

[–]FarShip32 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have found that when I really slow down my speech, focus on frame and tonality, it makes a massive difference in terms of me not freaking out. I have started to get so good at this that it makes the woman feel nervous, it's hilarious.

[–]holyrasta[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy


[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have you ever been laid brotha?

[–]holyrasta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro. Yes, but all the times i have aproached woman were really harsh. Like i have no game what so ever. Just came in kissing. I am really timid and shy when it comes to relationships and love and stuff. Usualy i am just a sex machine. Too overwelmed to talk. But the advice in here checks out.

[–]Nighthawkdragon81 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly I don't relate cuz I usually get a boost in emotion when I get an IOI. Id say look at it more positively, but honestly try to figure out why you are freaking out. like whats the bigger issue behind it.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to seriously freak da fuq out. Like wuuuut?? Is this fat booty queen staring at me with those cock hungry eyes? And now I’m like- really? This b gon act like she don see me. Ok.

I say all of this in a funny way but this is all trill real spill

[–]Infernir1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The most important thing is to remember that girls get nervous too. Far more than guys maybe even.

I was in a class this Monday filled with cute girls, and maybe 3 guys. I came in late and sat between two chicks.

I didn't move my body at all and a really cute girl brushed her legs up on me... I felt everything since we both had gym shorts on. I never looked at her only at the professor and concentrated on taking good notes because I didn't want to generate mental energy on how to chat her up or close a number. Big mistake.

Way before class ends she starts packing up her stuff, then just jets out of the room in a fluster.

Will I ever get a chance with her again? Who knows but remember two things

  1. Act fast
  2. Remember girls are humans too and can get a lot more nervous than guys so the number 0 rule before act fast is MAKE THEM COMFORTABLE.
  3. Make them comfortable to express their sexuality and flirt with you or plain talk about sex, women actually desire it too.

I have gotten a wide range of IoIs from girls. Some guys won't even act on a 10/10 IOI on a scale of 10... the women lightly brushing her legs on me was a 5/10 IOI and I didn't act, if she fully turned her head at me even if she wasn't a really cute chick which she was, despite how she looked I would still start giving her a lot of attention since that would turn it into a 10/10 IOI. With a 10/10 IOI it means it's extremely easy to escalate if you play your cards right and understand emotional intelligence you can have them in bed in a few hours.

Despite all of this, lets say I got a 10/10 IOI from her or just decided to chat her up with the 5/5 IOI? What do I do? Be light hearted, gentle, casual, talk about relevant things to both of you then start asking about her and based on all her replies go through the shit test or whatever, keep escalating the conversations and getting her in your frame, lead her to do something... ANYTHING. See if she submissively follows. Use deniability to lead her back to your room.

[–]SleazeballG0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

With people/girls I know, I'm cocky/funny as hell. With girls I don't know I always act too well mannered and uninterested.

Last year a girl in a library was sending mad IOIs, while her boyfriend was there with her. I didn't act. This week I was in library and they were together again, sitting in a table near mine. She saw me, then they started making out in the middle of the library. Its not that I'm so interested in her, but I think she does it so I get jealous or something.

Or sometimes I get iois while walking. Just this morning I had eye contact with a girl for 5 seconds while walking opposite ways.

My main problem is always with girls I don't know, why should I bother ask you about things I don't care? What's the solution to this?

[–]Infernir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

tldr : the solution is to focus on the end goal, what you want from her and what it will take to make it happen

I'm hesitant to respond since every situation is different. Think logically about everything in the game before making plays.

Just a few minutes ago I was in the same class I got IOIs on Weds ... To be honest this is one of the easiest classes to game in and I really should start studying - escalating with some of the women in it. 20+ girls to 3 guys, mainly all nursing majors. The 1 other good looking guy in the class is some dude who always dresses up in military outfit and has this asian chick always talking to him & sitting near him. They're probably friends but he might be fucking her who knows, all I know is by hearing them talk in first few weeks she's entirely off limits & would be a waste of time to game. Never compete with a guys prospects, especially if he isn't even interested in yours. It takes too much energy and isn't worth it since you can get a lot sexier women receiving no attention from anyone a lot easier.

I just accidentally answered your girl with boyfriend question while typing that.

As a computer science major this is the opposite from all the other classes I've been in but now I have quite a bit of experience with girls after talking to all the ones in my classes for 4 + semesters & being in various different social groups. I wore the same revealing gym clothes again and exact same thing happened. I sat down next to a girl, there was no physical IOIs as we weren't close, barely anyone came to class this Friday. But in the corner of my eye and all the sounds she made I saw I made her extremely nervous. Moving around, fidgeting, turning her head to me. She was a HB4 with just the face but had sexy curves and a pretty nice body. A little before the end of class she made some BS excuse to talk to me, because the IOI was conversation I thought about gaming her as we left, but I went towards the professor to sign in for attendance since I came in late. Then she went to the professor to ask him some questions and all the things I was gonna confidently start the conversation with went away. Questions about our nutrition assignment. I was still feeling good and confident, I could've chatted her up about something else but the thing is I wouldn't be 100% sure in my voice and couldn't lead her well with false motives. I didn't want her to think I wanted anything to do with her besides stuff relevant to the class.

The number one thing is to go in with confidence when you talk to women. The only other thing is to show you have some charisma, charm, wit, humor, or anything really to set yourself apart from everyone else & not make yourself boring like most guys will be. 1. You're already different since you're approaching and chatting her up

  1. You're now unique since you are showing 0 signs of insecurity, nervousness, doubt... this makes attraction inevitable

  2. You can say whatever you want more comfortably and escalate if you so desire & feel she will submissive accept easier.

I hope to game at least 10 of the women in my nutrition class by end of the semester.

I probably wouldn't of left if I thought i'd never see the girl again. And in countless cold approaches... you will only have one chance to talk to a cute girl so even if you're only 10% sure of yourself or even fucking 1% and a nervous wreck inside you have to fake it perfectly outside and hope the nervousness goes away after you start talking to her. You won't always be at 100% in anything in life... people talk about this on TRP with days they wake up feeling like shit & other days they wake up feeling good & going out to slay really easily.

You have to be a little more careful with girls you don't know anything about.

Cold approaching itself is an art. You don't have to comment on things you don't care about, just be authentic and talk about anything you both know about.

You have to be extremely careful with girls with boyfriend, I would just avoid this all together since its not worth damaging your mental health & well being or even a chance of entering drama... sooner or later you have to internalize how short life is if you allow all this in your life.

First of all, you don't know them. Carefully observe their personality. Don't allow any chance for them to manipulate or use you

The majority of young girls will be the typical social media or celebrity obsessed basic girl. And luckily, these are the easiest girls to do things with since they all function the same. Never validate them, tease, joke around, generate emotion even if it means you have to be an asshole (hence why majority of assholes get more pussy than beta guys ever will)... they're direct, generate emotion, and show girls strength & dominance. If you're a couple SMVs above & they ever shit test you don't even solve them if prompted just shit test them back harder, never break an inch of frame, show that you're stronger... because you are & obviously have higher SMV. If you have never spoken to or seen the girl treat them like you would treat all humans and ignoring the fact that they're girls is one method to stay calm, find out their situation first... if they show IOIs - giggling, eye contact with you, smiling, obviously wanting you to lead or make more moves... DO IT fast.

Its very dangerous to go into a battlefield having no idea who you're up against. This applies to everything, careful gaming in class since people are listening. Every other girl in the room, the professor, everyone. This is why I never said anything to the girls in my nutrition class yet despite 2 showing good IOIs when I dressed in some revealing gym clothes.

When you get them in private start treating them with all of TRP in mind. You also have to vet them properly at the very beginning if you're thinking about LTR with them. Find out what type of girl they are and use intelligence to judge your scale of what could happen with them. If its too low and they don't give IOIs soft next, don't pay them any mind... ignore the things you can't have.

After they get to know you more and your alpha status away from others you can start acting the same with them in class or in library around other guys or in any social group too. This will demonstrate to other women your SMV and make gaming them infinitely easier if you wish. Having a girl you fuck and that is submissive to you, giggly, laughing, so happy to be near you will give some girls ridiculous amounts of tingles. They might even approach you with the intention of seducing you.

Before you can sleep with a girl you barely know they might try to shit test you very hard, shut you down at first especially if there's any other guys they're interested in... but if you keep doing it they become even more submissive and acceptance of you in the dominant leader role & will be desperate for your attention even more than if you only acted alpha in private with them.

[–]Domebeers1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You don't...IS THIS SHIT NOT ON THE SIDEBAR? do not respond to an IOI, and if you want to be real, you give IOD's to IOI's. Have you not read anything about Game? This is basic shit man.

You wait till you receive 3 IOI's until you even think about giving her one. This is literally like Mystery Method chapter 1 shit. I know that shit is old but it's a classic for a reason.


Anyway, do you even know the chart, bro?

[–]holyrasta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What is an iod dhv?

[–]holyrasta[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Finally the right anwser? Finally the right awnser!

[–]alvaro101010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Approaching girls you ain't attracted to won't help you progress.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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