How do you deal with depression/anxiety or feelings of suicide?

TachyonDawn · Mon Oct 24 19:49:50 2016 UTC

Hey man. Take a deep breath. You feel like shit because you have a lot of problems. Imagine a world where the human brain rewarded us for being overweight underachievers with unresolved emotional complexes. Our ancestors would have been chewed up into extinction by nature and shit through millions of years of geological processes just to end up as grease in an oil reserve to be exploited by a more worthy species somewhere down the line.

You might not like hearing it, but feeling the way you do is an evolutionary mechanism to try and get your ass in gear my friend. Here is the good news, this isn't a bad thing. You can work against nature and try to escape your problems with suicide or masturbation or fast food or whatever. Or! You can accept your pain. I know it hurts. It is supposed to hurt. It is supposed to seer your soul until you can't take it anymore and you finally break down and address the problems, that or allow yourself to be overcome resulting in nature selecting against you, Darwin style.

Here is some more good news. If you decide to accept your feelings and accept that you have a lot of work to do then all this immense emotional energy will cease to torment you and begin driving you and powering you to get yourself together.

I know you have been through hell man, and I feel for you, I honestly do. It hurts me to see you hurting like this. But if you accept that you feel like hell and start fixing the underlying issues you can turn this fucker around man. It isn't too late, unless you decide to be a coward and take the easy way out. Your problems might seem insurmountable now, but trust me, people have persevered and conquered far, far worse than what you are going through now. In the greater scheme of things compared to most people alive now and through history, you have a stupid number of resources at your disposal. Your aren't a Jew who was castrated, starved, and wasted away in Dachau. You are rich enough and savvy enough to have an internet connection and access to reddit. I'm not trying to diminish your problems. You just need some perspective here on your issues and the opportunities at your disposal.

So you're overweight? Accept it, feel how much it hurts to be ignored by women. Let the fact that people treat you as a lesser for your weight hit you full force. Let it course through you. Now you have a a choice. Use these feelings as fuel to fix the problem or wallow in your own self pity or ignore what your own brain is telling you and let it continue to devour your soul until the only light you see is the light at the end of suicide's tunnel. What's it going to be?

If you decide to deal, you are in for even more good news. You can fix this my friend. Not overnight. Oh hell no! You have a long ass journey ahead. But that is part of the beauty of the story you could write for yourself. And once you start down that path, something almost magical will happen. All this angst and pain inside you will slowly start to disappear. Actually it is even better than that. All this emotional energy will be re-purposed and you will start to feel better about yourself, like you're confident again, like there is hope, like you're making progress, like you can get past this point and arrive at a place you want to be after all.

Once you overcome yourself, facing stupid challenges out in the world like the daily grind of a dumb job will seem so much easier to address. If you can conquer yourself you can conquer the world. Conquering oneself has always been the bigger hurdle anyway. Once you see you can change yourself getting a better job or deciding whether or not you want to go back to school will get easier and easier. Once you internationalize the trick of accepting and transmuting bad emotions inside yourself you can find what you really want in life and go fucking get it like a real man! It isn't going to be easy man, but I believe in you, and I know you can get past all this. It starts by fully letting yourself feel your own misery, not running. Then it is up to you to act. That part is important. You have to fucking take action! Then, if you can do that, the roadmap to the life you desire deep down in your heart will unfold before your eyes. This isn't hopeless my friend. Not by a long shot. You are in my prayers.

EDIT: I'm really impressed by this community. The world calls us hateful, stupid, pigs, you know the routine. The amount of love, support, reality and thoughtfulness in this thread proves that is bullshit and it is a more than a little inspiring...

cashcow1 · 2016-10-24T18:36:35+00:00

First of all, don't fucking kill yourself. These feelings are NOT permanent, they are temporary.

Second, if it's so bad that you're suicidal, you may want to consider some medications short-term. I don't think they are a good choice for most people long-term, but they can help you get back on your feet for awhile. Find a good psychiatrist to do an evaluation.

Third, start exercising. Basically every form of mental illness is helped by exercise.

Fourth, get some good advice. It could be a mentor, parent, peer, or even a wise counselor. But you need some other people to hep you.

Finally, ACT. Get off your ass and do something. If nothing else, take a walk around the block. Go hang out with some friends. Do something new.

chiefbl · 2016-10-24T19:02:23+00:00

Fuck dude.. I'm going to be blunt. No sugar for you today. I don't care how you're brought up, but you got work to do. First side bar. Read goal setting ( the basic life stuff) women comes later for you.

You need to get your life on track to success. Yes we weren't asked to be born. You can either live the rest of your life mourning over that fact or you can thank your mother for bringing you into this wonderful place full of opportunities and experiences. No one can change your past, but the only person that can change your future is you.

It's not how hard you can hit, it's how hard you can get hit and stand back up. Life is meant to be hard. Life is unfair. You just gotta look on the bright side of life. Life is a game you cannot win. No one wins. But you can choose to enjoy the journey.

I'm brought up in a okay loving family, but I have seriously considered committing suicide due to reasons. What saved me was reading other people's stories surviving their suicide act and my lil sister. Committing suicide is indeed a permanent fix to somewhat temporary feelings. Also, it's a very selfish act.

To conclude, 1) Get your life on track. Set goals. Small steps at a time. You need something to look forward to everyday.

2) if you're moving two steps forward and one step back, you're still moving forward

3) don't commit suicide please. Talk to me. Talk to us. Talk to your friends.

4)You can ask anything on Asktrp. Don't worry about it. Even tips on buying a nice house.

5) take it easy. Whilst life doesn't wait for anyone, it's okay to take your time sometimes.

6) your mindset is everything. If you think you don't deserve success, you definitely won't be successful that's for sure.

7) Yes it's good to plan ahead. Planning college, your career. But it shouldn't make you stressed. Tomorrow doesn't matter, because there isn't one. Plan for tomorrow, but live for today. And most of the times, it's not good to look too far ahead; As it'll make you lose sight of what's important right in front of you.

EDIT: wrote this on phone. My bad for any grammar or spelling mistakes

prostaddict · 2016-10-24T19:54:49+00:00

I didn't get my degree until I was 25 - and I made six figs by the time i was 28. The struggle you're going through now? If you pull yourself out of it - you'll be one resilient motherfucker. I was in your shoes. I was overweight ,WoW addicted, socially awkward, got dumped by my WoW GF that I was madly in love with even though we never slept together, and wanted to die. I got excused for 6 months for medical leave due to the severity of my depression and sought therapy. You aren't too late - and honestly ,the fact you're posting here for help means a part of you wants to hang on - otherwise you'd already be on the otherside of that railing

wont_tell_i_refuse · 2016-10-24T23:02:07+00:00

Non-SSRI antidepressants.

Travel, go and see and do things

Fuck yeah it's interesting. You have a silly mindset about it. Don't go see things, do things. Try hitchhiking in Iran. Sneak into Chernobyl. Become a pimp in Thailand. Volunteer to fight ISIS in Kurdistan.

Whatever the fuck you wanna do, the world is your oyster. Most people pick the passive, consumerist "take pictures of the Vatican" route. That's Blue Pill travel. Blaze a trail.

I would also like to point out that the accomplishments a man has in his career can and should be personally fulfilling. Pick a career that fits you; no job is pleasant or fulfilling 100% of the time, but if you make a good choice you can at least do things that make you proud.

[deleted] · 2016-10-24T20:21:34+00:00

Let me first say that a year ago I was in the same position as you in terms of mental health. I couldn't leave the house without having a panic attack. I couldn't talk to my own parents on the phone. I'm doing much better now so it may sound cliché but just know that it does get better if you put in the work.

Go to a doctor and ask for a full metabolic panel including Testosterone levels. Make sure Vitamin D is on there as I presume you don't get much sun being depressed and all. Rule out anything medical or hormonal first. Personally, I had low Vitamin D levels and was put on supplements for it and told to get as much sun as possible. My anxiety significantly decreased, maybe even up to 80%, after only a month of supplementation.

Your anxiety is most likely primarily due to traumatic experiences and your depression isn't helping. Look up PTSD therapy treatments and start trying them out on your own until you can get to a therapist. Anxiety is simply a form of PTSD triggered by the negative events of your past. You're going to have to find stuff to keep yourself occupied outside of the house during this process too. I know it sucks but it's the only way. Distract your brain. Go for a grueling run until you puke your brains out. Anything.

Most of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself. You dug yourself a big hole but you're only 21. Your adult life is just starting, please don't give up already. You WILL NOT recover if you continue to play the victim card no matter what you do. That's for women only. You need to reassert yourself as masculine and in control of your mental state. It wasn't until I admitted my mental health issues were all in my head that I began to see signs of recovery. I was in denial for 2 years and it only got worse. If it's not hormonal in nature, it's all in your fucking head no matter what people who think depression is a disease tell you. It's not a disease, it's a symptom of a larger issue, be it mental or hormonal.

I HIGHLY suggest you either see a male therapist or start journaling in the meantime. Write down all of your thoughts and emotions. Pinpoint the traumatic experiences of your past and write about them in great detail. Reread what you wrote 10 times. You will begin to find closure. Laugh at how dumb and pathetic your fuck ups were. Accept them as they are. You can never go back and change them so why dwell on them? Then move on with your life. Do this until you feel like you can come to terms with your past then continue to improve yourself moving forward.

This is what has been working for me. Don't even think about killing yourself. Within 3 months you will be pissed at yourself for even considering it. Best of luck, you can overcome this bro I believe in you, I really do. But don't let me tell you what to believe. You have to believe in yourself first.

Mr_ghostslayer · 2016-10-25T06:18:31+00:00

Listen to this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQIfBJVFTWE

Now go out and demolish your life. realise that everyone has been down at some point of their life.

Remember in batman when Alfred told Bruce: “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

You have to just pick yourself and realise that "what defines us is how well we rise after falling" not who we were when we were down.

It will take time, it will be hard, but stop worrying and do what it takes to be the person you want to be.

If you want to lose weight hit the gym, research drugs to help you lose weight.

Some people get out of jail when they are 50 years having spent the past 25 years in there. They didnt have a choice they made a bad decision. You have a choice and as long as there's still time there's room to change.

Dont give up.

randarrow · 2016-10-24T20:48:05+00:00

I reread Wikipedia's evolutionary approaches to depression.

sesasees · 2016-10-25T05:47:07+00:00

I'm 22. Redid grade 12 and was required to do grade 13 in my high school system. I'm in first year uni of a four year program because I dropped out of my first program when I came close to either that or taking my life.

I'll graduate age 26 and have to do a 2-3 year master's degree before I can have a serious career. Assuming all goes to plan I won't be starting my career till I'm 28-29. Most of my high school class have either graduated several years ago (those who went to lower tier colleges) or are graduating right now (5 year university programs).

My face already looks 30 - that's where people guess my age - and I know 17 year olds with better muscular structure than me. I'm finally taking control of that but the pain that I've had leading me to look the age I do is there.

But I am now having the time of my life because I'm enjoying the today. I am making progress in the direction I want. I'm nowhere near where I want to be yet...but I'm ahead of where I was yesterday and will be further ahead tomorrow.

Also one thing about yourself: somehow you have successfully raised yourself. You have achieved more than many coddled people have. And most of the people I know who have been through hell growing up are those I have the most respect for: they are so much better people for it. All of my closest friends were seriously hurt growing up (some even sexually abused) but the fact is they turned out well ahead of everyone else in maturity, understanding and will to grasp knowledge.

Don't let your situation today define you. You deserve better and you know it. Act on it now. You'll make it. Good luck.

AceBenedict23 · 2016-10-25T07:35:05+00:00

Don't bother with high school. Get your GED now and enroll in a local CC it's much cheaper. You can transfer after 2 years.

I swear to you I had similar feelings of extreme depression for a long time man. At some point I hit rock bottom and I thought "I can sit here and die, or I can stand up and back against the wall come out swinging."

Anything that your heart desires you can have if you really dig deep and apply yourself. But it's only if you really want it. You can't be halfway in halfway out. Don't sit on the fence, or life is going to rustle that shit and knock you over to one side that you may not love when you hit the floor.

That pain you feel is temporary. Use it as rocket fuel

lordofthedanc · 2016-10-25T09:47:05+00:00

As a guy who suffered from suicidal idealization and self destructive behaviour, i empathize completely.

It's rough waking up each morning and wishing you didn't. However, there are three things i can be certain of:

Your "world" isn't the limit. This existence you find yourself in, isn't the end of the line. It's merely a bubble, a picture of the complexity out there. The limits are truly endless.

Everything dies eventually so why create death? Each moment of each day, someone is dying. It isn't pretty. It's disgusting, undignified, oftentimes painful and when it comes, most people try their hardest to resist. I've worked in places where you see death and saw a lot, through an uncle who worked as a funeral director. Oftentimes, we think we want to die. Yet, there are many forms of death, where the body survives. Don't kill yourself, kill your self you are right now and be reborn.It won't be easy but you know that dream you have of your perfect life?You can get there.

Purpose itself is an illusion. Does a child look at a playground and go "Daddy/Mummy, why do we play in the playground?Why does it exist?Why do we need to play?" No, children understand something that we don't. Regardless of whether you play or don't play, time ticks on. Every second is precious. Every minute crucial. You could sit and question everything but each "answer" is only an opinion. The world is a playground. You have free reign, within the rules and morals that exist in society.Some of these can be broken.Others ignored.

The thing that snapped me out of it?I visualized the impact of my own death. Researched death and the facts of death. Read "The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying".

However, by coming here and posting, i have so much faith in you. You could have easily gave in and killed yourself. Yet, the spark of life is still in you.

All the best. Seek help, never be embaressed. Speak to a professional about these feelings and work through them.

Whisper · 2016-10-24T23:52:50+00:00

Don't talk to me like a bitch.

What the fuck does it matter if you are getting a late start?

You have X number of years left in your life. Do you want to spend them winning? Or losing?

BasketCase559 · 2016-10-24T18:47:08+00:00

The best advice I can give you is try everything else first. Suicide is a permanent reaction to temporary problems. It's always an option and you can always come back to it, so it doesn't make any sense to jump to that extreme of a decision without exhausting your other options first.

desno · 2016-10-24T19:16:43+00:00

First of all you said you're overweight. Sort your diet out and lift weights. Trust me, exercise is great stress relief and really does help you feel better. A well balanced diet also helps regulate you body better.

If you want me to be more specific then hit me up on here or pm

1Maverick1 · 2016-10-24T23:56:00+00:00

Please stop putting your fears onto other people. The only reason you don't want to live is because you view life as a burden. If that's the case then maybe you should be dead. Harsh? Yea. But the fact that you're reaching out tells me that maybe you are ready to step up. If that's the case then start carrying your own weight. Understand yourself and what you're capable of. Life is great and awesome only for those who make it great and awesome. Good luck. Hopefully a lack of a reply means you're already working on it...and not the other case.

Redpill876 · 2016-10-25T03:42:16+00:00

Some things people have told me that helped.

You aren't depressed. You are feeling depressed. Depression does not define you.

Live life at life's pace.

Who cares what you'll be doing in 5,10 years. Enjoy today. Smell the roses.

[deleted] · 2016-10-25T08:44:15+00:00

21 now you can get a GED by 22. School honestly is not for everyone. If I were you and I was ina. Similar not at 20 I would join the military after I get my ged. Then take advantage of its free tuition assistance and get out after I am done with my degree. You'll be 27 debt free some work experience and have a college degree. The exercise regiment and structure may help your life. Thoughts of suicide and worthlessness may be replaced with duty and an actual mission. I will caution though veteran suicides are at a rate of 22 a day so if you go that route build a firm foundation spiritually and mentally that keeps you from being sucked in to their mantra of service before self.

Casper3 · 2016-10-25T18:38:31+00:00

Never give up. Every productive thing you do slowly brings you up from that. Even making your bed

sr_pastilla_roja · 2016-10-28T03:18:47+00:00

Hey man, don't give up yet. I've been in the same place, and I understand completely what you mean when you say you have no interest in anything.

I know that seeking help might not be something that you feel like you can do. When I was dealing with depression/anxiety, I got to the point where I had panic attacks just thinking about leaving the house, let alone seeking help.

What ultimately got me going was tianeptine. It's an atypical antidepressant/anxiolytic drug that isn't regulated in the US (as well as several other countries). This means that you can essentially order it online without a prescription.

While I strongly advocate seeking help, I know that in my case, the use of tianeptine saved my life. It provided me with a scaffold to regain the ability to go out into the world and actually get real help. It made me (at least temporarily) feel like I actually cared about things again. It made me feel like a real human being for the first time in 16 months. I highly recommend using it, but do so as a stepping stone on the way to actually solving the problems you're facing, not as a standalone solution.

Again, I'll reiterate that: you should seek help as soon as you can. It's not something to be ashamed about. Use whatever means you can to get yourself to the point where you can go out and start fixing things.

It's not a short journey, and I'll honestly say that I'm still working on many aspects of my life. I started by using whatever means I could to get past the current half-alive zombie state. Next, I sought professional help, and told some of my friends. I included a few not-so-close male friends who I wasn't sure would respond positively, but tianeptine got me past the anxiety and lack of feeling, and I opened up to them. Ultimately, they responded better than I could have imagined, and became a support network for me, as well as close friends.

TL;DR: consider getting some tianeptine online. Use it to get to a point where you begin helping yourself and finding external help

EnterTheNarrative · 2016-10-24T19:23:05+00:00

It's just a feeling. Just because you feel angry doesn't mean you should lash out. Just because you feel tired doesn't mean you should relax. Just because you feel suicidal doesn't mean you should kill yourself.

But, just like anger and fatigue, suicidal feelings won't go away just by pushing through them or ignoring them. You have to notice them and behave in a manner that will eliminate those feelings in a safe manner.

That means that when you're angry, you have to fix the core issue that's hurting you. Like if someone is tailgating you, just let them pass. If you're tired, don't just fall asleep, pull over first and then take a nap. If you're suicidal, surround yourself with people. Family, friends, coworkers. Doesn't matter, hell even go to jail for a bit because there are always people there! But the people around you have to interact with you or it doesn't work. That means that, the library or the mall might have plenty of people, but they won't help you. Go somewhere where you can tell stories ir shoot the shit with others. Like a church, or a soup kitchen (seriously, soup kitchens are very social, but don't volunteer, pretend to be homeless and mingle).

You have to interact with other humans and the suicidal feelings will go away.

SnugglySadist · 2016-10-24T18:36:24+00:00

If you are having thought of suicide, talk to your doctor. Not us.

Title	How do you deal with depression/anxiety or feelings of suicide?
Author	Redkarr
Upvotes	38
Comments	22
Date	October 24, 2016 6:32 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5966u8/how_do_you_deal_with_depressionanxiety_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-deal-with-depressionanxiety-or-feelings.289 https://theredarchive.com/post/289

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