That confusion has led me into a string of bad relationships where I have either tried very hard to be subservient or have ended up wearing the pants and losing all respect for my partner. Reading through this sub actually taught me that there is another way and that it is ok, likely even quite healthy.

A number of years ago I began to notice that at times I was beginning to reflect and project the “man-hater” attitude. I was pretty disappointed in myself. I have sons. How could I possibly be ok with projecting that “all men are this or that....” attitude in raising them?!

If a man with daughters openly projected a woman hating attitude we would call him a sexist pig so why on earth is it deemed acceptable for a mother to do the same thing and why does she even get labeled a strong woman who doesn’t need a man?

What is wrong with wanting or needing a man? That doesn’t imply weakness. It shows strength in being able to have the character to value the balance that two opposite and equally valuable people can bring when they work in harmony.

I have always had a lot of appreciation for the fact that women are supposed to be women and men are supposed to be men. I can’t do “anything a man can do” nor do I want to. He can’t do what I can do either. It’s not a matter of better or less than. We were made to be different. It’s what makes us beautiful.

Why are you considered to be selling out your gender if taking on a traditional female role is what comes naturally to you? When I am totally in love with a man I want to take care of him and do all the things that will support him in becoming a better version of himself.

That doesn’t have to imply that I want to be barefoot, in the kitchen with no mind of my own but I am FINALLY beginning to understand that there is nothing wrong with feeling that way as long as you take care and use your intelligence to ensure you both understand your roles, celebrate and respect each other.

Maybe part of why the divorce rate is so high is actually because so many people get married just to own each other or to be owned without having an understanding that it is a sacred covenant that should not be entered into lightly and is supposed to be about a woman and man both helping each other to become the best version of themselves, not a competition or something to jump into because there’s a physical attraction.

Wow. Thanks for the epiphany.

I’m going to turn a bit of a corner here and this may get me deleted. lol

I would like to know what you think about a man who is of biblical proportions, works extremely hard and lives his life in a way so that everyone admires and adores him but who may have married a woman who does not provide him with the support he needs and deserves but he doesn’t feel like it would be right to divorce, having a mistress rather than breaking his marriage?

If the mistress is able to fulfill all the needs that the wife is unable to and there is an agreement of honesty and mutual respect is it still wrong?