[CMV] one of the problems in the male/female arena is that females often feel free to change their minds.

rus9384 · 2019-12-08T19:45:43+00:00

[deleted]

CosmicBioHazard · 2019-12-08T19:43:10+00:00

Well that’s like saying a man can never break up with his girl because that’s essentially changing his mind about the relationship

NockerJoe · 2019-12-08T19:24:38+00:00

All of your examples are one and dones. You don't have to have steak every night.

PlainSlim · 2019-12-08T19:46:22+00:00

I don't get why this is a problem? Are you saying humans shouldn't be allowed to change their minds? The first person you ever date you have to date forever because you can't change your mind. You like your job today but don't a year from now, but you have to stay forever because you made your choice, that's it. You move away from your hometown to a bigger city for career opportunities, a few years down the line you decide being near family is more important to you, but nope you gotta stay in the big city forever because sorry, no take backs.

Like sorry people change and circumstances change. Your FWB arrangement is just one example, but you can't expect any relationship with someone to just exist as it is forever because people (not just women) evolve and what they want today isn't always gonna be the same as what they want tomorrow.

Salty-Bastard · 2019-12-08T19:32:37+00:00

Sounds like dating.

FYI. sooner or later, someone always catches feelings in a FWB.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-12-08T19:41:55+00:00

Who cares if she sees him as a jerk? I think the funny part of all of this is that guys seem intent in trying to persuade women into thinking the way they do. "Don't ruin a perfectly fine arrangement of a FWBs" Eh it's not perfectly fine to HER if she doesnt want that anymore "Don't breakup a perfectly happy relationship because he won't marry you" Eh it's not perfectly happy to HER if she wants marriage lol

I know you just want to seap all the benefits but it isnt happening if she decides to cut things loose

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-12-08T20:53:50+00:00

And Why is this "a problem"?

Blowcake69 · 2019-12-08T19:28:44+00:00

One of the benefits of being a human being is the ability to change our minds. Sometimes the circumstances of a situation change and that causes people to want to go a different route. Imagine if people weren’t allowed to change their mind. The world would be a way worse place to live. And anyway if the woman decides that she wants a relationship and the guy doesn’t he has every right to cut it off just like she has every right to change her mind.

Ascimator · 2019-12-08T21:11:17+00:00

If I feel like a stek for dinner, I have steak; I don't want lasagna.

If I feel like going to a dive for drinks with my buddies, that's what I do; I don't want a fancy rooftop bar with bottle service.

If I feel like wearing distressed jeans shorts, that's what I do; and I don't want to wear a tuxedo.

See a pattern there? Does anyone have any issues? I think not.

Stop sticking metaphors in posts if you don't know where you're going with them. They would be relevant if you described a woman who wanted an ONS then suddenly decided she wants to marry the dude. That's not what your post is about. You didn't make yourself sound smarter or more convincing.

lahadley · 2019-12-08T21:51:08+00:00

I'm struggling to read this as anything other than baseless butthurt. As others have said, she's prob. seeking or diverting to an LTR but even if not, who are you to care?

The complaint, "she's ending a perfectly good arrangement" sounds like an appeal to a friend. But you two are not friends in this scenario - despite the moniker - you're actually something quite different. I mean, FWB is by definition casual. So you really can't appeal to her goodwill in this way.

2019-12-08T20:21:46+00:00

Ok using your analogy, here goes.

I order a steak, and I get the steak exactly how I wanted, and I keep getting the steak and time and time again its amazing.

A few weeks or months later, I order a steak, but this time I get a lasagne. I try not to be too picky and eat the lasagne whilst telling the waiter that he got my order wrong. I loved the steak, so I try to order again next time, but this time I get breadcrumbs. This time I get angry, and express my anger to the waiter for leading me on. I paid the same amount of money each time and yet I keep getting less and less because they thought I would always be a loyal customer.

Men get too comfortable and change and end up giving you breadcrumbs whilst promising you steak. Its not that women change their minds. Men try to serve breadcrumbs instead of the real deal, forgetting the effort they made in the beginning.

sublimemongrel · 2019-12-08T21:05:56+00:00

Changing her mind here is “wrong” how? Is she supposed to perpetually fuck this guy uncommitted? What would not be wrong to you?

angels-fan · 2019-12-08T19:54:52+00:00

I thought this was going to be one of those "herp derp women change outfits 20 times before going out to dinner, then change their mind on where to eat" idiocy.

You do realize that both men and women change their minds in LTRs all the time, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

She's perfectly within her rights to request to change the relationship to a LTR and you're perfectly within your rights to say no. Same for guys.

In fact, I'd wager that guys are the ones breaking the agreement more than girls. Guys seem to catch feelings way easier than girls do in FWB situations.

goatismycopilot · 2019-12-08T21:08:47+00:00

I order steak and I am not cooking it and some tool who does not know how to properly sear roast a steak and make a decent pan sauce fucks it all up and half way through I am thinking should have cooked the steak myself or vetted the person cooking the steak better. Next time I am getting lasagna and I am asking a bunch of questions about this lasagna because what if they are bait and switching me and trying to make me eat a heated up frozen one? Because I can already make a good lasagna myself so it has to be damn good to be better than mine.

__queenofsaigon_ · 2019-12-09T00:35:49+00:00

You're saying it's not okay for someone to change their mind, wtf

nemma88 · 2019-12-08T19:36:20+00:00

There is nothing wrong with changing your mind to reflect changing circumstance and feelings. Not doing so just because of a whim to remain true to a decision made at a different time is both arbitrary and dumb. Do you eat steak every night because at somepoint you decided you want steak?

I agree its not the guys fault if he doesn't want to tho.

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2019-12-08T20:15:43+00:00

So they meet, fuck, the sex is good; so they keep fucking here and there. All is well; or at least so he thinks. After a few weeks or a few months, she changes her mind, now she wants to change the arrangement from FB/FWB to a relationship; and if he's not willing to do so, she's willing to terminate a perfectly good arrangement and go back out there hooking up or to the next FB/FWB.

The place I'll try to change your view is specifically that when they want to upgrade from FB/FWB and you don't go for it, they're more likely to go monogamous with some other dude she was dating, rather than find another FB/FWB arrangement.

And they are well within their rights to do it.

Spinning plates is a rational response to open hypergamy.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-12-08T22:34:24+00:00

I mean, that’s how I got engaged. I met a guy, we started out FWBs, over a few years together we became more serious until he asked me to move in and subsequently asked me to marry him. I didn’t want something serious because I had a kid still at home. Then circumstances changed and I did want something serious.

h0tpie · 2019-12-09T00:55:58+00:00

Shockingly, people act in ways we cant predict whether they are male or female. Women have thoughts that develop, just like men do.

2019-12-09T05:03:02+00:00

Women changing their mind and waffling on anything is not the problem because that's what women normally do anyways.

The problem is that people actually listen to them and take them seriously when they do.

wekacuck · 2019-12-09T14:11:29+00:00

There's a fundamental problem with your premise: there is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone changing thier mind for any reason.

The freedom to change your mind for any reason whatsoever is always listed as a fundamental right in every version of "Assertive Bill of Rights" that I've seen. If someone is telling you that you cannot change your mind they have an extremely high burden to justify infringing that right.

[CMV] one of the problems in the male/female arena is that females often feel free to change their minds.

Comments

Girl is horny and DTF needs sex and wants something easy and casual; so she's looking for a Fuck Buddy to be Friends with Benefits.

Title	[CMV] one of the problems in the male/female arena is that females often feel free to change their minds.
Author	NYCCOOP
Upvotes	0
Comments	105
Date	December 8, 2019 7:22 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e7y25s/cmv_one_of_the_problems_in_the_malefemale_arena/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-one-of-the-problems-in-the-malefemale-arena-is.298374 https://theredarchive.com/post/298374