I have been lurking here for quite some time. I foolishly wanted to take everything with a grain of salt and still held on to my blue pill ideologies of women and relationships. The following is the \"a ha\" moment of clarity I've just had...
Been in a monogamous LDR with a girl for the past 8 months... pause for laughter.
When we first started seeing eachother, she was my affair on the side. The sex was great. She was always down to fuck. Two three times a day when I would see her. I think you all know where this is going.
I bring up the idea of us as a couple, us being exclusive, THINKING, that the exclusivity would be in my favor. Little did I know that what I was really doing was shifting the only real source of power men have in relationships, and thus, shifting the relationship power to her.
We see eachother about once every two weeks, (I visit her, long story, but I'm not trying to win anyone over, so yeah, more BETA shit in her favor) Everything seems to be going well, and our sex life changes, now instead of 2-3 times a day, it's 2-3 times a weekend, up until the last time where it's only every other day. She tells me that it hurts having sex sometimes and that she would prefer to \"roll around\" i.e. non-penetrative stuff instead, but when I bring up ideas, she says that she isn't always in the mood, contradicting what she just suggested. I know what she is saying, she means she is not desiring to have sex with me.
I call her last night and we speak for two hours, I bring up the subject of sex and her desire. Not a mistake in and of itself, just in the way I handled it. She talked about how there was no excitement and she wanted the unkown. All of you know this, I should know this. And here was my lowest blue pill moment so far that I just need to get off my chest.
\"Maybe we could have an open relationship.\"
I actually suggested to her to fuck other men. I am a fucking disappointment to myself.
We ended our conversation, she said she loved me, I paused for about 5 seconds, and replied back, \"you too\"
I thought about another man being with my woman and said to myself, \"fuck no!\" If I'm going to be in a relationship, no other man is with her. Then I realized something, this is what she wants, if she wants to be with another man, so be it. I will not fight her desires. I will use them to my advantage. If she wants to be with another man, I will be with MANY other women.
So today, I realized even though we have not discussed it yet, that I will no longer pursue her as my \"one.\" I will only continue seeing her as a fuck buddy, or possibly friends with benefits situation. I've drawn back the veil upon her feelings and seen her true heart's desires. There's no going back now. Only moving forward. I may have stumbled with her upon this, but I will use this knowledge to my advantage, learn to tap into her desires once again by showing my superior SMV, and re-establishing the frame of the relationship as one where I hold the power.
I suppose i should end on some poignant statement of eye-opening RP truths, but in reality, I've known this all along. Sometimes seeing is believing, sometimes we just need to touch the stove to know it's hot.
I am not mad at her, I do not blame her. Women's desire is something outside of their control. Anyone arguing this is a fool. Just like you cannot fault a man for being gay, a woman's desire is not self controlled. Learn to turn a woman on. That, is the most important thing I need to master.
TLDR: Women's desire cannot be negotiated, there is no greater truth in RP than this.
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