For those who are already unplugged this may be beneficial, but I wanted to post this to speak to those who may be reading this subreddit right now who are new, or who are still going through the anger phase or perhaps miserable after being decimated by a woman or society in general. Emotionally, financially, whatever it may be. I decided to write this after hearing a song that made me absolutely sob when I was at my lowest point, and it was only halfway through the lyrics that I remembered that; It made me realize how far I've come.

If you've fallen to depths you thought you'd never reach, you have to set yourself and think about what life will be after you climb back up. Because you WILL climb back up. That is what men do, we overcome, we learn, and we strengthen ourselves for the next struggle.

Easier said than done? Possibly, but let me tell you a tale of my darkest days. I was in my mid 20s when I met my (now ex) wife, and like most men these days who have been lead down the wrong path I was a good provider, but not the leader in the family I needed to be. Looking back, I realize I let her take charge - instead of making decisions, I opted to let her plan everything. If she didn't want to have sex, I let my frustration show. I played video games too often instead of working on myself. I let myself get a gut, not a big one but enough that in old pictures I'm ashamed to see that man looking back.

One day, about 5 years into our marriage she woke up and told me that she did not ever want to have sex again, and that it was dirty/gross. I was devastated at first, and blamed myself for not being attractive enough, for not helping out around the house enough, for not taking her out to dinner enough, etc. Counseling and therapy didn't help either, as I was blamed for not being in tune with my emotions, told that wanting sex should come second to her emotional needs and other bullshit that I'm sure you've heard marriage counselors spew.

Most of you know by now that these were not the reasons it happened.

I went from having a good physical relationship with my wife to sleeping in the attic bedroom and having absolutely no physical contact, almost in an instant, all because I wanted to save the marriage and get her to want me again. I tried helping out more at home, cooking every night, spending all my free time with the kids...and of course this did nothing. Eventually she decided she had to move out because she just couldn't stand being in the same house - that was the beginning of the end of the marriage as divorce soon followed. At my lowest point (and I have never admitted this to anyone before) I contemplated suicide. I had it all planned out too. I felt like my life was over and that it would just be misery and loneliness for the rest of my days - besides, if my wife didn't want to have sex with me, hug me or hell even sit next to me without being "uncomfortable" I was obviously the most unattractive man in the world right? On top of that, I was now stuck with paying hefty child support, got fucked on my taxes due to changing to Single status right at the end of the year from the divorce and had to put myself into dire financial straits just to come up with the money, while she got to claim the kids and got a hefty return. I had to pay on her new car while I drove a 10+ year old vehicle. I got stuck with loans and debt. At every turn, I came up with a losing hand.

You have to hit rock bottom before you can begin to climb back up. I don't quite remember what triggered it, but after being in a depressed haze I just got angry one day. Not angry at the hand I got dealt, not angry at my ex wife who had already moved on with another man less than a month after filing for divorce, but angry at myself. How the fuck could I let myself get this far down and cry over stupid shit, and even consider offing myself? Why should I let her win?

As most guys who unplug start doing, I started lifting. And heavily too. After confiding in him about what was going on, my best friend basically kicked me in the ass and told me I was going to his gym, and made sure I went regularly until I started to get that fire in my belly. Within a few months my whole demeanor changed - not only was I going to lift myself up, I was going to succeed beyond what I could have if I had stayed with her, not just in body but in as many avenues as possible.

And today? Soon after that change, I applied for a job at work that I had been turned down for before, and blew past the competition. Not only did I get the job but I now excel in it as well. I'm much better off financially, and after putting in solid hard work and getting the body I was meant to have I have confidence through the roof. Women at the gym, at work, even just walking around, I notice their gaze lingering a bit longer, I notice certain tells when I get close to them to talk to them and they show their interest. The team that I head at work respects me and my leadership and initiative drives them as well. And I'm much wiser now...you'd better believe I won't get married again. I even tell women that I date this too - there is no benefit for me, and if there is a marriage ultimatum I will walk. I have yet to have any trouble with this.

I hope this helped someone who may be going through what I did. And even though this all happened several years ago, it's a relief to get this off my chest and admit how much I failed, and how close I came to doing something so stupid for someone who wasn't worth the emotion and struggle.

Never give up. EVER.