I am a mid 20s male. Have been spinning pates since August and been living the rp lifestyle for a couple yrs. Went out with a girl [22f] last night, probably the 4th time seeing each other. I know ratings are different for all guys but I think she is objectively a 9, she is very beautiful. I would call her a plate but we haven't had sex because she's a virgin (we have done everything else though ) . She used to be very religious and based on her actions with me, I think i believe It. On the other hand she is very sexy and likes to party and drink sometimes, so I find it hard to believe she made It through college without having sex. I think she understands that her biggest asset is her sexual exclusivity and at this point is really cautious about giving it up no matter how strong her sexual attraction is. (Props to her, don't see this control very often in women, or actually ever as I live in a big city).

Anyways, the last time we hung out I think she wanted to have sex but was mentally holding it back. After a bj we were laying in bed and she starts getting into \"if I'm seeing other girls\". Obviously I am, so I respond \"I don't kiss and tell, sorry \". Usually, this is good enough to get me out of the shit test but I can tell she wants a clear answer. I'm pretty tired so I just kind of brush it off and accept the sex is prob not worth pursuing in her current mind state.

The next day, I get a long text from her saying that she is developing feelings and she doesn't want to keep hooking up or else she will be hurt, but still wants to hang out as friends. I just respond with \"ok fair enough\", and soft next her.

I figure I'll never hear from her again but she hits me up a week later to hang out. I say \"sorry I want to hang out with you but I don't trust myself to keep my hands off you\". My goal here was to make it clear I will not be her orbiter. She pushes it more so I say fuck it might as well see what's up.

Yesterday we hang out and do some [physical activity] . At some point we are alone and I try to kiss her. She pulls away. Later, I try to kiss her again and she turns away again. This is weird to me because all the Kino signs are there but she is pulling away? Confused and discouraged, I next her in my head and initiate dread game. I stop looking in her eyes, I engage more with others than with her, give her short answers but not in a passive aggressive way. Basically I treat her like a bro.

As she's leaving my house I just basically open the door and say \"see you later\". At this point the dread has taken a toll on the hamster and she says she wants to talk. I step outside and close the door behind me. This conversation is the usual shit about her not wanting to kiss me because she thinks I'm going to use her for sex. (to me this is a good sign because it shows she is attracted and does not see me as a pussy orbiter). I am pretty silent and let her unload her shit on me. She then asks what I want from her.

Now it's pretty clear, actually it was pretty clear from the 2nd date, this girl is looking for some type of commitment to justify being \"slutty\" with me. I know I can just give her some bullshit and get what I want, but I don't want to build a house of cards. I say \"I have fun hanging out with you and I think your sexy and I'd like to see you again as long as we keep having fun and I keep thinking your sexy\". At this point her hamster wheel is at critical velocity and she can barely utter coherent sentences. I say \"I'm getting pretty cold out here, If you wanna keep talking lets go into my room.\" She obliges and once in my room, there is no more resistance and she is really into it. I still did not try to fuck her as I haven't had sex with a virgin since high school and I'm not sure I'm ready for that emotional attachment. Might groom her for a LTR because I'm honestly impressed by how she's carried herself, but I don't really want to stop spinning so probably not.

It was a good learning experience dealing with a high quality virgin and interesting to see how far one can push the no commitment route. In addition, it was also interesting that in the beginning her shit tests were about me seeing other girls and how it has shifted to be only about whether I am going to keep seeing her or not.

Tldr: confused virgin. Let her hamster herself into taking me out of the friend zone.