How do I appear happier?

peculiarmiss · 2020-01-09T08:37:39+00:00

How do I become happier?

I have a boyfriend who is gone the majority of the time. I see him like 3 hours a week and no sex life. I dont work, I am entirely isolated. I have 2 teens that spend their days with friends mostly ignoring me. I had gone back to school, but I can’t start my next program for another 9 months. My mom has stage 4 cancer so I focus on her hair loss to avoid thinking about her dying. I am overweight.

Just a thought...I think the stuff in parentheses is the actual way you feel about the situation, and your “main” points are mostly you trying to convince yourself you have no reason to be unhappy.

I look depressed. I move like I am depressed. My face says I am depressed. I watched myself talk into the camera for 20 min, and when I filmed it I tried to sound happy and positive and upbeat. I thought I was smiling. But none of that was there when I went back to watch it.

With all due respect, I think you might have depression. And from your description of your life, that’s completely understandable. Some of these things you can control (isolation, school, being overweight) and others you can influence (needing more time with boyfriend and kids, sex life).

There are a lot of ladies here who can better advise you than I can. I just want to let you know that it’s okay to not be okay with where you are in life. And that you have the power to change it.

ETA: Or I could be completely off base. I’m just a stranger on the internet and can only extrapolate from what you say 🤷🏻‍♀️

bottomLobster · 2020-01-09T08:19:08+00:00

Do you excercise? It seems like you might have enough time to do so, it might help to bring out the happy hormones, and also get you into shape.

[deleted] · 2020-01-09T09:01:09+00:00

Were you maybe nervous or self conscious when you filmed? Keep filming yourself and practice coming across more cheery. Think of it like practicing your best photo angle. Do it until it feels natural.

My take though, reflect on what's going on in your head. You might realistically have no reason to feel unhappy but does that mean you are? Your first paragraph doesn't sound like a joyous time in life. Do you truly mostly feel happy and perky inside?

Because when I feel happy and perky inside, I skip about singing. Making stupid jokes and generally being chatty and a bit giddy. Possibly even slightly annoying. Just this morning, my boss caught me singing and wiggling my butt at the coffee machine.

I honestly think if you find things that are in line with your passions, its lights you up from inside. Find something that lights you up inside and use that to spread your joy.

Other than that, you could just practice walking round with a huge grin, but it may be taken as a sign of madness.

valleycupcake · 2020-01-09T16:08:10+00:00

You want to film your life for others but feel distant from the ones you love the most. How you feel is not how you think you should feel. Reach out to them with an effort to reconnect and you will start to feel more like your authentic self.

Dr__Noonian__Soong · 2020-01-09T07:39:18+00:00

[deleted]

peacocktoast · 2020-01-09T17:41:29+00:00

It's disturbing to me that you're insisting your happiness, and asking about how you can project your "happiness," but you take care to list out all the unhappy aspects of your life, nonetheless. And some of them seem very unhappy; so sorry about your mother.

Do you think your outward appearance would improve if you dealt with the sadness currently in your life?

TheBunk_TB · 2020-01-09T13:06:00+00:00

Have you though of community acting class or improv?

If you are depressed or sad I also suggest counseling.

Exercise is a good idea.

cakebatter_icecream · 2020-01-09T18:58:32+00:00

I think other responders have good points about your parentheticals potentially being your real/subconscious feelings -- but I'll offer another perspective on top of that :)

At my job, we make courses teaching people how to start successful YouTube channels and most people are horrified when they watch their first few videos they've filmed. They feel like their personality and enthusiasm just isn't showing up on camera for some reason, and it makes them feel like there's something wrong with them because they're comparing themselves to lively YouTubers.

In the same way that "the camera adds ten pounds to your figure", the camera takes away half of your personality. The advice we give is to be yourself, but on steroids -- to literally be 150% yourself. It'll feel a little awkward at first, but once you see yourself on camera you'll see that it ends up coming out much more natural than you think. You can even just test this out with your phone's camera and you'll see what I mean.

Good luck :)

relaxilla420 · 2020-01-09T19:18:36+00:00

I'm going to be honest, most people do not do well in front of a camera. Believe me, if just anyone could turn on their cam and record bubbly and amazing youtube videos for money, they would. The fact is, even the most nice and bubbly people IRL can have 0 presence on camera.

It takes time and skill to get good at presenting yourself in this way. You need to "play to the back of the house" (to use a stage term), which means play up your expression and emotions. Not excessively or anything but you'll have to be slightly louder and more dynamic in facial expression and movement. You'll also need to be confident when you speak, as stuttering or pauses or awkward laughter just makes the viewer feel weird. I'd write a script first for sure. Make sure your video makes sense from start to end and isnt just rambling.

Good luck.

Edit: you may also dislike your physical appearance and this is causing some stress. Like others said I'd work on losing weight and hitting the gym. It will make you feel better, do not listen to the sarcastic "thanks I'm cured" crowd on reddit. It wont solve all your problems but it will help.

girlwithabike · 2020-01-09T17:51:59+00:00

[removed]

Ambassadorcel · 2020-01-09T09:06:19+00:00

Maybe you are just an INTJ and has "resting bitch face" which is confusing for other modern people who used to fake smiles and permanent happy faces around them.

Title	How do I appear happier?
Author	toothemoon8
Upvotes	26
Comments	19
Date	January 9, 2020 6:54 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/em62fe/how_do_i_appear_happier/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-appear-happier.305810 https://theredarchive.com/post/305810

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